


No Place Like Home

by swordPrincess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, M/M, contains some homophobic slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2017-11-26 19:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 54,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordPrincess/pseuds/swordPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk lives with his brother and his less-than-accepting parents, but another place is where his heart is.</p><p>(AU - everyone lives in the same area - betas are younger than the alphas)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Visitation

**Author's Note:**

> Got a sudden huge plot bunny for this over the weekend, and finally got a chance to start it after finishing my last fic. This has the possibility to end up quite long - I have several chapters in my head and still not an ending - but we'll see.
> 
> I may write chapters for this in between other stuff, so I don't abandon my main au-verse.

Dirk shouldered his bag and approached his parents causally in the family room. He'd already told them earlier where he was going and had asked permission. This was merely a formality telling them he was leaving now.

"I'm going to head over to Jake's now, okay?" He waited, knowing what question would probably come.

"Are you going to take your brother with you?" And there it was. It was his mother that asked it this time. Dirk wasn't sure if his parents thought Dave hung out with him and Jake, or with Jade, who was closer to his age, but supposed it didn't matter all that much. And oftentimes it didn't. At some point, it usually ended up in a fused group of four, despite the age difference.

Dirk quickly moved to the staircase and yelled up to his brother, "Yo! Dave!"

He backed up a bit from the stairs and waited as the footsteps approached and the form of his 11-year-old brother appeared. "'Sup bro?" Dave greeted.

Their mother answered before Dirk had a chance, approaching them as she spoke. "Dirk is going over to his friend's house today, would you like to go too?"

The tiniest, almost unnoticeable smile came over only one half of Dave's mouth. "You mean his _boyfriend_ ," he teased, surely without thinking that statement through.

Dirk's body immediately tensed from head to toe. He was extremely grateful for his shades, not the first time in his life, so that no one could see the fear radiating from what they covered. He could only hope or assume that if his stiffness was noticed, it would be attributed to the same thing as his father's...

Speaking of which, Dirk could feel the anger emanating from behind him, like the heat of a bonfire. He didn't turn around to look, but he could see Dave's expression quickly turn into a massive 'oh shit'.

"You will not dare suggest that about your brother!" Their father bellowed like a furious storm. "I didn't raise any homo faggots!"

Both brothers were unsure in that moment if it was them shaking or the entire house.

Mr. Strider continued ferociously, "Dirk is at least twice the man you are! Now go to your room before I get my belt!"

Previous to the last statement, Dave had had his mouth open, as if trying to find a place to defend himself, to say it was just a joke, but the last word made him take off as fast as his pre-pubescent legs could carry him, his door slamming shut just a moment later.

The house was locked in silence for what felt like forever, but was probably less than a minute.

Dirk felt his father's hand on his shoulder. He just barely kept himself from jumping out of his skin.

"I'm sorry son," came much calmer words, "I know you aren't no pansy. He'll be taught a lesson."

The words, 'I'm sure he was only joking', wanted to leave Dirk's lips, but he swallowed them. As much as his little bro was undeserving of this treatment for his little quip, defending him could bring back the fire with a new direction, and Dirk just really wanted to escape from this place. So he just nodded, a bit numb.

His mother attempted to smile at him, but he could tell she was still upset by what just occurred. "Have fun at your friend's!" she told him, a bit forced.

Dirk nodded at her as well and took the chance to get out of there. Though, restraining himself enough as to not seem like he was fleeing.

Once he reached his bike, he took off as fast as he could pedal. It would take ten minutes to reach Jake's house, and he used every minute to work the tension out of his body, so he at least felt like a person again when he arrived, stashing his bike in the usual place and walking up the drive.

He spied Jake almost immediately, and headed toward him. Jake noticed his approach and turned his head. He was holding a toy gun in his hand, and he moved his arms so that it was pointing toward the sky, rather than aiming at something, as if it were real. He smiled.

Before Dirk had the chance to finish opening his mouth for a greeting, a young girl stepped in front of him, pointing a similar toy gun at him and pulling the trigger, causing it to light up and make electronic noises.

"Got ya!" she exclaimed triumphantly.

Dirk clutched at his chest and pretended to die, for her benefit. She exploded into a mass of giggles. He could hear Jake laughing, too.

Jade was Jake's half-sister. Their mother, lovely person though she was, never seemed to be able to settle on any one man. Neither of their fathers was currently present, their mom having gone through one more husband and countless boyfriends since then. Her only lasting relationship was with guns.

As soon as Dirk raised his head back up from being "dead", Jade asked him a question.

"Where's Dave?"

"Grounded," Dirk told her, keeping his nerves from that particular incident from showing. "He's probably on Pesterchum, though, if you want to annoy him."

Jade ran into the house, dropping the toy gun along the way and not bothering to shut the door behind her. Dirk reached out to pick up the abandoned toy.

"Hi, Dirk!" Jake finally greeted him, a grin on his face.

Dirk could see just within the house from the front door that Jake and Jade's mom was approaching, looking back at the retreating figure of her daughter.

"Hey," Dirk replied, before she reached them.

The woman popped herself out, her bewildered expression turning into a beam. "Now how is my son from another family?" She hugged him, and Dirk allowed it, looking at Jake from over her shoulder, who was still grinning.

"Decent enough," Dirk replied vaguely.

She released him. "Your brother?"

"He was grounded."

"Whatever for?"

Dirk swallowed, feeling the tension rise in him again. "For being a brat," he told her, not entirely lying, but not wanting to tell the whole story.

She frowned, but didn't press him. She backed up to the doorway and put her hand on the knob, then stepped aside and waited for the boys to enter.

They did so, and she shut the door behind them. After putting the toys away, Jake grabbed Dirk by the wrist and led him upstairs to his bedroom, where he let go and shut the door. Dirk swung his bag down on the floor near Jake's bed and then sat himself down. Jake followed him.

"So why was he really grounded?"

Dirk sighed and ran two fingers up the sides of his nose to rub the corners of his eyes behind his shades. "He said you were my boyfriend."

"Oh." There was a beat of silence during a moment of realization. " _Oh._ ...Wait, does he know?"

Dirk shook his head. "I doubt it. And if he did, he wouldn't have outed me like that, he's not that much of a little creep. Besides, it would be my word against his, and he knows dad always takes my side, since I'm such an 'examplary manly son' or something. And obviously, I can't be that and homosexual at the same time."

He rolled his eyes, not that Jake could see it, and then continued.

"I find it far more likely he was just joking and has no fucking clue. Dad just has hair thin trigger about that sort of thing, and he should have known better."

Jake nodded and placed his hand over Dirk's on the bedspread. "Golly. You know if something ever happened, you could stay with us, right? Mom wouldn't mind. I think she loves you just about as much as she loves me!"

Dirk made a short laugh, but one that lacked amusement. "Yeah, I know." A thought struck him. "Does she know about us?"

Jake put his free hand to his chin, thinking for a moment. "I don't believe so. I never told her, at least," he replied. Then quickly tacked on, "Not that I think she'd be disagreeable about it. It's just that she doesn't allow girls in my room, and I doubt she'd treat you much different if she knew we were more than friends. And what would be the fun in that?"

His mother's 'no girls' policy wasn't without merit - Jake definitely liked them, and was also rather popular with them - there was a group that flirted with him practically ceaselessly.

"Does she know that you are bi or pan or demisexual or whatever the hell it is that you are?" Dirk inquired further.

Jake shrugged. "I don't understand what half of that even means!"

Dirk tilted his head to consider this answer. "How can you not understand half? I said three terms. I could understand a 'half' answer maybe if it was a larger odd number and it was about half, but three? Did you understand one or two, Jake?"

Jake shrugged again and granted him a half-smirk. "All these friggin terms are just so tedius to remember, Dirk. I can't be bothered with the minutia of these definitions!"

Whatever struggle he might have had with it beforehand, he had accepted it and moved on without much further thought. Jake liked who he liked. At the moment, he liked Dirk. To him, it was as simple as that.

There was a knock at the door, and Dirk slipped his hand out from under Jake's before it opened up to reveal Jade.

"Dave says he was grounded because he said you two were boyfriends - is that true?" she asked bluntly and without introduction.

"It is why he was grounded," Dirk answered carefully.

Jade shook her head. "I know that, I didn't think he was lying or anything," she clarified. "But is it true?"

Dirk and Jake looked at each other and then back to Jade.

"He was only joking," Dirk answered her again.

"Again, I know that! He told me himself," Jade was starting to get a bit exhasperated. "But are you boyfriends?"

Silence. Jake looked at Dirk. Dirk looked away.

"Are you?" she was insistant.

Jake tugged a little at Dirk's sleeve, not knowing what to say. Dirk looked back at him.

Jade crossed her arms. "You aren't saying no," she stated.

Dirk sighed quietly and nodded.

"We are boyfriends," Jake confirmed.

Jade dropped her arms and her eyes went a little wide. "Really?"

Both boys nodded this time.

"But you can't tell anyone," Dirk warned, "especially not my brother."

"And don't tell Mom, either," Jake added.

Jade tilted her head again, as if considering their requests. "Why not Mom? She wouldn't care."

"Because if she knew, she probably wouldn't allow Dirk alone with me in my room anymore, at least not with the door closed."

"And why would you need the door-" Jade stopped herself short, her brain arriving at an answer. She made a face. "You mean so you can kiss and stuff? Eeeeeeeeeeeeew."

Jake laughed at her reaction. Dirk waited until it had died down a bit to comment, "You'll think differently when you're older."

"No way!" she denied adamently. "Kissing is gross! Boys have cooties!"

"And here I thought it was the other way round," Dirk remarked back, wryly.

Jade looked into his shades, trying to find where his eyes were, she was pretty accurate with it. "Everyone has cooties if you kiss them, Dirk," she told him. "Boys also have them naturally, but thankfully they can be nutralized if you shoot them."

Dirk's gaze turned automatically toward Jake's pistols, which were kept in the open, leaving him to often wonder if they were loaded. He knew their mother felt her own gun policy was above the law.

Jade noticed this. "I mean in a game, stupid," she clarified.

Dirk felt the bed shake slightly from Jake holding in laughter.

Dirk decided his best course was to continue away from his subconscious blunder. "So wouldn't that mean you cured me earlier?"

"Only temporarily," Jade explained, as if giving a lesson. "And if you kissed my brother, they'll have come back full force." She smiled at him before delivering one more line. "I might have to shoot you again."

"Well, thank you for your analysis, Dr. Jade Harley, Ph.D., Cootieology, I'll keep that in mind."

Jade looked rather proud of herself and beamed. "You are most welcome!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Anyway, Dirk and I haven't kissed yet today," Jake piped in.

"Yet." She looked at him suspiciously.

"Means get out!" Jake told her with his biggest smile.

Jade made a face again and started to leave. Before she was all the way out she turned back to them. "Okay, but I'll have the gun ready when you come back downstairs!"

Once the door was firmly shut, Jake turned back to his boyfriend. "Siblings," he said, shaking his head.

"I hear you," Dirk agreed, taking his hand again.

Then they both leaned in toward each other, meeting halfway for a kiss.


	2. Girl Troubles

He was doing it again.

Dirk watched them out of the corner of his eyes, missing the safety of his shades, which school regulation made him go without.

The girl giggled. Jake beamed at her and continued saying something excitedly. Dirk really couldn't make it out enough to comprehend over the overall noise in the hallway. Not from this distance, at least.

Another girl joined them. Oh, _fun_.

Dirk scowled a bit on reflex, but then changed his expression back to a practiced neutral as quickly as he could. It was really stupid for him to get jealous like this. The boy was his. If they were privy to this information, they'd be the jealous ones, and rightly so. It was Dirk's choice to keep it a secret and therefore was complicit in his own private hell.

The girls really couldn't be blamed. There was something about Jake - not only his looks, but the overall sort of aura he protruded - that was just incredibly attractive. Why wouldn't they flirt with him if they were under the impression that he was available?

...But he didn't have to flirt _back_.

Dirk noticed another figure in front of his gaze, off to the side of Jake and his little group. Jane Crocker. Everyone and their mother basically knew she had a huge thing for Jake, except for the man himself. Her expression looked like how Dirk felt.

Both of them were momentarily saved by the bell going off, causing everyone to scatter to their lockers and Homeroom.

Dirk plopped himself down in his usual seat and didn't even need to glance at the figure that sat next to him to know exactly who it was.

"Heeeeeey, Dirk. Fancy meetin' you here."

Roxy Lalonde made it her business to hit on him pretty much every day. Perhaps she was engaged in a scientific experiment wherein she was trying to see if you could get a guy to like you through the flirting equivalent of dropping a brick on his head. So far the results were negative, but she was persistent.

"Yeah, sure," Dirk replied to her. "What an odd coincidence seeing you sit next to me where you do every damn day since we both attend the same school and are assigned to this room. This comes completely out of nowhere."

She made a small disgruntled noise. "Oh come on, Dirky. I was just trying to be playful. You could lighten up and have a little fun with me. We don't have to hook up or anything, though that'd be totes sweet."

Dirk finally looked over at her. She was winking at him in an exaggerated manner. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Doesn't it bother you at all that we are a little related?"

Roxy's entire face visibly fell to annoyed. "Oh that is such bs!" she complained. "We aren't related at all and you know it. The fact that my big sis and your cuz hooked up once doesn't even remotely count toward that sorta thing."

Dirk pretended to be completely serious about this line of argument. "I don't know. They even popped out a kid. I believe the hellspawn's name is Rose."

"As if you aren't her favorite relative, you piece of shit." Roxy pouted. "It should be me. After all that I do..."

Roxy tried everything in her power to win her niece's heart. Things that would spoil other kids rotten, but only seemed to make the girl suspicious of her. Dirk had won her over with nothing but abrasive wit.

"But you are distracting me," Roxy continued, "from the point, which is that we aren't actually related. They aren't even together anymore. She's with that Egbert dude now." She bit her lower lip with her teeth and closed her eyes briefly. "She has such great taste in men."

"Well, if you are so bent on getting with people related to people your sister's been with, maybe you should try John."

John was Mr. Egbert's son with a different woman, of course. He also happened to be one of Dave's friends.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "But he's like, ten."

"Yeah, but he'll be eleven soon," Dirk pointed out. He wasn't really sure how serious he was being about telling her this, but then, he rarely was. If someone had to ask if he was joking, then they didn't get it.

Roxy was unimpressed. She pursed her lips.

"A cougar is a type of cat," Dirk added.

She raised her fist. "I am going to hit you."

The second bell going off made her jump and she got a few laughs from some of the other kids in the class. Then she settled back down and after announcements were made, she lowered her voice and continued talking to Dirk.

"Anyways, I know the real reason you won't go out with me," she told him conspiratorially.

"...And what is that?" Dirk wasn't overly concerned. He didn't know what she knew or thought she knew, but couldn't find much place for the truth of the matter.

She ignored his question. "I know," she stated again. "And the reason I know is....." She made a long pause, as if for dramatic effect. Dirk just stared at her. "I've seen," she continued, "I've seen the way you look at-" She cut herself off, looking from left to right, then choosing to continue her thought in a manner not out loud.

She started tracing letters in front of Dirk on his desk, starting with "J". Dirk's heart lurched in his chest. If this were happening at lunch instead of Homeroom, he might have choked. He didn't really need her to continue, but he watched her silently as she did anyway. The first letter was soon followed by "A", "K" and finally "E".

"-when you think no one is looking," she continued her sentence as if she had never interrupted it.

Dirk remained stunned into silence. He had thought he'd been so careful. But first he had Jade notice, despite knowing that Dave wasn't serious. And now Roxy...

"But I wouldn't worry about other people," she told him, as if reading his mind. "You are pretty good at hiding it and most people don't look at you all that closely." She winked again. "But I got my eye on you, Strider."

"I've noticed."

"You know if you ever need someone to be your fake girlfriend or somethin' due to your parents being such tremendous tightasses, I'm all for ya," she offered.

"Rox, thanks for the sentiment, I guess. But really, no."

She sighed laboriously. "So now I've got you and Jane. Man it is hard bein' friends with so many peeps that want the Jakester. I might've wanted to snatch him for myself, you know." Her tone was one of someone that had been put through endless trials. "It's hard. It's hard and"

"Nobody understands," Dirk finished with her.

She looked away and then back at him. "...I don't suppose you'd be up for like, shopping or somethin' like that?"

"Not a chance."

"Fiiiiiiiiiine." She sighed again. "You are such a fucking _guy_ , Dirk."

"Well, yeah. That sure was a statement that was true. Congrats."

"Yeah, but-"

She was interrupted by the bell going off again. Dirk was actually glad of the distraction provided by having to go to class. It would be a relief until lunch period, which would come with another episode of Jake and the Girls, except then he'd be forced to interact. To act as Jake's best friend and not his boyfriend, no matter how much he'd like to flirt with him himself or hold his hand.

It all made him feel so _possessive_ and keeping it in ate him up inside, bit by bit. Every day proved a test of his endurance.

He felt sometimes that it shouldn't be. He should be strong enough that Jake's little flirtations didn't hurt him. But they still did.

But he couldn't bring himself to actually ask Jake to stop, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More actual Dirk and Jake in next chapter. I considered combining it with this one, but after I finished this much, I decided it was best to break it up this way.
> 
> Also, thank you to anyone that's given me kudos so far and also to the bookmarks, wow!


	3. After School Special

Jake lightly punched Dirk on the shoulder as he was finishing up at his locker. "Hey, Dirk."

"Hey," Dirk responded, looking over at him.

Jake gave him one of his usual megawatt smiles. "So will I see you at the house later?" he asked casually.

Dirk shook his head and closed his locker. "I have to help my dad repair the shed, so that will suck up all my non-homework time." He slung his backpack over his shoulder and started to walk away.

Jake followed him. "I could come over and help too," he offered.

Dirk stopped suddenly, making Jake nearly bump into him. He turned back around to face him. "Do you really think that would be a good idea?"

Jake really didn't think sometimes. Him coming over would be like entering the hornets' nest. How careful would they have to be to not disturb the air and get stung? And once they got stung, it would be too late, they'd only become a target for more.

Jake seemed completely undisturbed by the question. "Yeah! Why not?" He gave a little flex and a short laugh. "Little manual labor never hurt a man worth his mettle!" He put his arm down and then laced his fingers behind his back, leaning slightly forward. "Also, your mom makes the best pie. There will be pie, right?"

Dirk rolled his eyes, which also reminded him that school was over and he could hide them again. He retrieved his shades from his bag and popped them back on his face.

"So it's not me you're after, but pie. I see how it is," he commented with humor.

Jake grinned and Dirk turned back around to head out of the school.

"It's really good pie, though!" Jake emphasised, walking after him again. "So, can I come?"

"Sure," Dirk answered him, although he somewhat regretted this decision. He'd already spent the day pretending to not be Jake's boyfriend for school, he'd now committed himself to the same torture for several more hours. Albeit, minus the flirting girls, but plus his parents. Of these, the first was more of a personal annoyance, but the second was more dangerous.

At any rate, Jake ended up at Dirk's house and greeting Dirk's parents jovially, as if he weren't snogging their son behind their backs. Well, not behind their backs exactly - it was really much farther away than that.

His parents responded warmly, completely incognizant of any of that.

"So what brings you around here today?" Dirk's father asked, giving him a pat on the back and ushering him in from the doorway.

"I'm going to assist you with the shed!" Jake announced, and then added, "If you'll have me, that is."

"Of course!" Mr. Strider gave Jake a rare smile, then continued it on to Dirk as well. "You two are such great boys. Any other families should be jealous not to have you for sons."

"Thank you, sir!" Jake responded without a trace of insincerity.

Dirk said nothing but made a mental note of groaning inwardly. It was as if his parents were the characters in a play, and he the audience. The author had laid on the dramatic irony pretty thick there. How fast his father would despise both of them if only he knew....

"I assume you would like some pie afterwards, dear?" Mrs. Strider spoke to Jake.

He practically flew over to her. "Oh, would I!" His hands moved themselves against each other.

She laughed lightly and reached up to pat his head. "After you're finished, it will be all ready for you."

"Well, let's get started then!" Jake took off toward Dirk's bedroom to deposit his bag. Dirk watched him run and then quickly followed after him. Once they were both in the room, Jake gave Dirk the quickest of kisses, then ran back down again. Dirk touched his lips briefly before heading back down himself. The kiss didn't do much to accomplish anything other than leaving him wanting.

Dirk's nerves seemed on fire the entire time they were working. Every time he so much as brushed Jake's hand, even accidentally, it sent electric pulses up his arm. He wasn't entirely sure what was wrong with him, exactly. Some combination of the all-too-short kiss from earlier and the danger of the presence of his father.

He was at least grateful for his shades once again. They made it so his dad could never tell when he was staring at Jake's ass.

They finished in the late afternoon, just about evening, collapsing into chairs where they were given tall glasses of water by Dirk's mom.

"So I didn't see Dave come home," Jake commented after a few gulps. "Where is he?"

The entire family tensing up could be felt in the air. "He snuck in while you boys were outside," Mrs. Strider replied, her voice very slightly strained. "He's in his room."

"He said something unspeakable about you boys. I can't even utter it," commented Mr. Strider with low anger. "So he is grounded until further notice."

Jake took another heavy gulp from his glass. Dirk wondered if he had forgotten, or had mistakenly believed his parents might be over it by now.

Dirk's mom had the sense to change the subject to food. "Now, it's a bit close to suppertime to have pie now." She turned specifically to address Jake. "Would you like to stay for supper and have it after, or take a slice home with you?"

"I'd love to stay!" Jake continued Dirk's torture, surely unknowingly.

Mrs. Strider beamed at him. "Wonderful!" She came over to give him a hug around the shoulders. "You know, we've barely seen you all year. You used to be over all the time, but lately Dirk has just been going to your place. I was almost beginning to think you didn't like us anymore."

Dirk and Jake had been best friends since the start of middle school, and exchanges between both houses used to be frequent. Then, in November of their sophomore year of high school (the year they were still in now), they shared a sudden, mutual, and sort of undeniably passionate kiss while wrestling with each other. It was frightening and exhilerating, and from that point on they saw each other romantically in secret. Which of course had the effect of not coming to the Striders' as much.

"Nonsense!" Jake assured her. "I just need to call my mom quickly to make sure it's alright."

Jake left the room quickly, pulling out his cell phone on the way and pressing to dial home. He returned not even a minute later to give an affirmative.

Dirk put his glass in the sink and lead Jake upstairs to his bedroom, where they were expected to hang out until it was time to wash up for supper.

Once the door was closed, Jake slung his arms around Dirk's shoulders. "Alone at last," he said with a quirky grin and went in for a kiss, but Dirk blocked him with a pointer finger.

It wasn't that he didn't want to kiss Jake. He really really really really really wanted to. It was just that if he kissed Jake at the moment, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stop himself from continuing or going further.

Jake frowned at him slightly, looking at him questioningly.

"Don't you think that's a bit dangerous here?" Dirk asked him.

"Oh, I laugh in the face of danger." Jake put both hands, curled into fists, on his waist and puffed out his chest. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

When he dropped his arms back down, though, Dirk could tell he was somewhat nervous.

Dirk took his hand and lead him over to his game collection, rifling through it. Jake brushed his thumb over his knuckles, sending another pulse through his body.

Dirk took a deep breath, calming himself and his nerves. "It will be just like old times. Two best bros hanging out and playing shit, no big deal." He wondered if he said that last phrase more for Jake or himself.

"Do we really have time to play something?" Jake asked him casually. "We don't want to be in the middle of something when supper is ready."

Dirk let out a breath between his teeth and Jake sidled closer to him. He tilted his head and started planting kisses on Dirk's neck.

Dirk put both his hands on Jake's chest and shoved him away, causing Jake to slam into a wardrobe. The black-haired boy let out a short cry of pain and then they both stared at each other quietly for a few moments, no sound in the room but their breathing.

Dirk's body came quickly forward without consulting his brain first, pinning Jake to the furniture and kissing him hard on the mouth. After a small moment of surprise, Jake kissed him back with equal force, breaking his pin and pushing Dirk to the floor.

Dirk felt Jake's mouth on the side of his chin and his weight on him. He could hear his heart pounding hard, the blood pumping through his veins.

It was only after that his ears registered the footsteps. Jake must have heard them at around the same moment, because his lips were quickly removed from Dirk's face before the door swung open.

"What is going on in here?"

It was his father.

Dirk tried to have his brain come up with an excuse, but a million choruses of 'oh shit's were blocking his thinking process. Jake was still on top of him, both of their glasses were somewhat askew, and their breathing heavy. Dirk hoped to whatever power might be available that his crotch couldn't be seen.

"Wrestling!" Jake came up with between deep breaths, trying to calm his breathing down to normal.

"Wrestling?" Mr. Strider repeated, after a pause.

Dirk nodded.

"Yeah, wrestling!" Jake said again, then continued. "You know how much I frigging love roughhousing, did you forget? I thought of joining the team this year, but they have all that weight class stuff, and temporary starvation just sort of sucks the fun out of it for me."

The man looked between them again and then gave a sound that was almost a laugh. "...Alright boys. Just next time try to keep it to a more open space. We don't want to break the furniture."

"Yes, sir," both boys agreed, only slightly out of sync.

Dirk's father nodded in acknowledgement of their answer. He grabbed the door handle with his hand. "Why don't you wash up for supper and sit downstairs with me? We can watch something on the tv until food is ready."

They nodded again, Jake taking himself off of Dirk and Dirk quickly blocking himself with a limb.

Mr. Strider left the door slightly ajar as he left, but at least he was gone.

Jake rolled over onto his back. "Gee fucking whiz, that was stressful."

"Yeah," Dirk agreed, picking himself up carefully to his feet. "List of things we probably shouldn't do again."

Jake smiled up and him and lifted himself off the floor.

They took a moment to calm themselves more completely before going to the bathroom to wash and coming back down, as had been suggested.

For Dirk, the entire meal was like an out-of-body experience. He felt like he was raised up somewhat, watching someone else. Like he was still viewing the television. Like Jake and himself had just gotten away with murder, but they were still at the police station and the chief inspector was talking to them, and he couldn't know what might slip to give them away.

Eventually, it was over. Dirk showed Jake to the door, gave him a brofist and as he shut the door, he finally came back down into himself.

He sighed and went upstairs to do his homework.

This was an exceedingly long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this chapter under the influence of being sick, so I hope it turned out alright.
> 
> Thank you again to those that have left kudos, and also especially to people who left me comments!


	4. Family Dinner

It had been two weeks since the incident at Dirk's house, and things had settled down pretty well. Even Dave had been ungrounded, although he had not yet been asked to accompany Dirk on his visits again.

Jake approached the kitchen table, still yawning a bit from tiredness, to see his sister eating in her pajamas as usual, but also his mother drinking coffee in hers.

"No work today, Mom?" he asked her as he opened the cabinet to retrieve a bowl for cereal.

She smiled at him. "As luck would have it, I managed a day off. Heading out to the shooting range after you two are off to school."

Jake tilted the box that had been resting on the table over his bowl and shook it lightly, nodding at her. The family had their own "shooting range" of sorts in the backyard - the only thing he used to practice, since he was a minor and if anyone found out she allowed him to use pistols in any manner they'd get in a whole mess of legal trouble. But when she said it like that, he knew she meant the official establishment.

"I was also thinking of cooking something special for supper since I have the time," she continued. She watched Jake put the cereal box down and then spoke one more line, as casually as a loaded comment could ever be said.

"Is your boyfriend coming over?"

Jake blinked a few times, letting his brain catch up to what his ears had just witnessed. His gaze drifted over to Jade, who shrugged and shook her head.

His eyes went back over to his mother. Her chin was now rested on her left hand. Her right brought her coffee cup back up for another sip.

"You knew?" were the first words to manage to come out of his mouth.

She put her coffee back down and folded her hands together, her smile turning into something of a self-satisfied smirk. "I do now."

"Frig!"

It was a trap. He'd fallen for it so easily. She really was such a cunning hunter, be it animal or information.

Jade broke into giggles.

Their mother's expression dropped into one of gentle concern. "Why did you feel the need to hide that from me, though, honey?" she asked him, an almost hurt tone leaking in. "You know I wouldn't judge you. You know I would accept you." She got herself up from her seat and came around the table to hug his shoulders. "I love you."

"I know," Jake replied, feeling a twinge of guilt that his mother felt like he didn't trust her. "I'm sorry."

She straightened up. "Although, I was under the impression that you liked girls."

"I do like girls."

She nodded, understanding. Then crossed her arms. "Well, you know, I'm not going to be able to allow Dirk in your room anymore."

Jake's previous remnants of guilt vanished. He remembered why he hadn't told her. His face fell. "Oh come on, Mom. What are we going to do? Most of my stuff is up there."

"Fine, but not with the door closed," she amended in the expected manner. Then she continued speaking before Jake could argue more. "But enough of that. Eat and get ready for school. I won't be hearing any more complaints until it won't make you late."

Jake sighed and shoveled a spoonful into his mouth. He suddenly wished he hadn't given himself so much, but he had poured his usual amount before she'd gone and laid this on him.

"And make sure to ask Dirk over for dinner when you get there."

*

When Jake spotted Dirk in the hallway he quickly excused himself from his current conversation - not that he'd been paying all that much attention to it that morning - and headed toward him.

When he judged himself to be close enough that their conversation would be heard as no more than added noise to the din, he spoke. "We're busted."

Questions formed to come to Dirk's lips, but it was as if he couldn't decide which was the right one to say, or at least say first.

Jake continued, "My mom knows. She tricked me, like a cunning vixen."

Dirk nodded, carefully searching for words. Even though no one would likely overhear them, it never served to underestimate the ability of certain people to pick up key rumor words when spoken in a school hallway.

"...So your room?"

Jake picked up his meaning just fine. "Not with the door closed."

Dirk nodded and bit his lip very slightly, thinking.

"Also, my mom wants you to come over for dinner," Jake told him diligently.

Dirk's eyes focused back on Jake. There was something different to the request, being asked to dinner now as Jake's boyfriend. It made him feel more nervous about asking his parents than when he went over to make out.

The bell rang, startling both of them.

"I'll have to see if I can," Dirk answered before slipping off to homeroom.

*

Jake watched his phone the entire bus ride home, even though he knew it would logically take Dirk awhile to get home himself and then get an answer. It ended up going off just as he was opening his own front door. His mother looked up at him from a chair while she waited for him to read the message.

"So can he come?" she asked him calmly.

"His parents said he can if he finishes his homework first," Jake replied. That was basically as good as a yes. Dirk had never been a slacker in that area and wasn't likely to start.

"Perhaps something that you should do too, hmm?" his mother suggested.

Jake gave her a half-hearted, somewhat nervous laugh. "You mean instead of procrastinating until he leaves and then maybe some more and doing it really late and getting 5 hours of sleep and maybe finishing the last bit of math on the bus? This must be some other, more diligent son you speak of."

She raised an eyebrow at him, somewhat amused, but not enough to let him off the hook. "Maybe this son can try it today?"

"He can't make any promises," Jake told her with a serious expression.

"Maybe he can try his hardest?" She tapped a finger against her knee.

Jake finally nodded, resigned, and took his bookbag up to his room. He diligently laid everything out. Assignments in order of his classes the next day, pen, pencil, eraser, calculator. He wrote his name on top of a fresh piece of paper, tapped his pen on the desk a few times, got up to walk a few paces, then got distracted and read a comic book.

He went back to work after that, but it continued like that every once in awhile, so that after a few hours, he'd gotten less than half of it done. Dirk, meanwhile, messaged him that he could come over now.

Jake pounded downstairs, and his mother looked up at him from taste-testing something on the stove when he entered.

"Dirk is coming," he told her.

She nodded, stirring. "And did you finish your work?"

"Well..." Jake racked his brains for a tactical answer.

"Yes?" she prompted.

"Let's just say I got a good deal more done than I generally have at this hour of day and I'm very proud of myself for that and you should be too."

She rolled her eyes at his response and shook her head. "Why don't you try a little more before Dirk gets here?"

Jake sighed and trudged back upstairs. He kept watching the clock, waiting for the amount of time it usually took between houses. Not much got done before the doorbell rang and Jake flew back downstairs to answer it.

"Hi," he said as he opened the door, a bit out of breath.

"Hey," was the response.

Jake let his eyes rest on him for a moment. It looked like Dirk had actually changed his clothes for this. Nothing too fancy, but a collared shirt and slacks he hadn't worn to school.

"Well, don't you look spiffy," Jake commented.

Dirk shrugged, and Jake stepped aside so he could come in, then closed the door after him.

Jake's mom came out of the kitchen and leaned herself against the archway, crossing her arms. "Hello Dirk."

"Hi."

"So I hear you've been dating my son." One side of her lips curled up into a slight smile.

He nodded. "Yes?"

She broke out into a full smile and came over to embrace him. "...Has Jake ever told you that if anything happened at home you are welcome to come live with us?"

"Yeah, he has."

"Good, because it's true," she affirmed. Then she stepped back and just held his shoulders with her hands, looking him up and down. "Good," she repeated, then let go and headed back to the kitchen.

Dirk looked at Jake. Jake looked back at him and shrugged.

They both followed her, and she looked over her shoulder at them as they entered. "Almost done," she told them. "Would you boys mind setting the dinner table?"

They complied and did so, Dirk taking Jake's cue for where to get things as well as where to put them.

Jade wandered down not too long after, attracted by the smell. The boys wrangled her into getting glasses for everyone's drinks.

They all sat down and the food came in not long after. It smelled positively divine, causing all three kids to salivate before it was put before them and they could finally eat it.

"This recipe was actually given to me by Jake's father," his mother explained. "Although, I haven't had much opportunity to use it. He'd been pretty much everywhere and had a particular knack for finding tastes and ideas from different things and places and bringing them together just perfectly." She put a biteful in her mouth and savored it for a moment, bringing the room to silence. "Of course, now I don't know where the man is, or even if he's still alive," she finished after she swallowed.

Dirk looked over to Jake. He hadn't asked him about his father really, and Jake hadn't shared much.

"He left when I was two," Jake added to the information. "I don't even remember him." It was stated as fact, not with any sadness of wistful thinking. Dirk looked back at Jake's mom. He supposed she was enough. He knew for himself he'd rather have her than both of his parents, anyway.

"Well the food is delicious," Dirk complimented.

"Thank you, dear!" The woman responded and then gave him a wink. "So how long have you two been going out?"

"Since November," he answered after a beat. "If you'd call it going out." It wasn't like they actually went anywhere.

"If you boys want to take the car out to see a movie or something some weekend, I wouldn't mind," she offered.

"Thanks, Mom!" Jake responded, and Dirk echoed a, "Thank you," right after. Although, he wasn't sure how much that actually did for them. Even if they went somewhere, they still couldn't behave romantically in public, or it might get back around to...

Well, he was pretty sure if someone were to mention to his parents that he was seen so much as holding Jake's hand affectionately, his life as he knew it would be over.

"When will Dave be able to visit again?" Jade suddenly asked him.

He looked over at her. "I don't know. He hasn't be specifically prohibited. He can always ask to come himself if he really wants."

It made him wonder what it would be like now, though. Now that this whole household knew about and accepted his relationship with Jake, he didn't know how he felt about bringing Dave along. Especially since there would be no more closed doors.

He continued thinking about this after dinner was over, after he left and returned home.

He paused in front of Dave's doorway for a moment as he passed. Would any visit with him now be automatically a just-friends visit? That made him feel bitter inside and then guilty for feeling bitter.

...Maybe it was time to trust his little brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone again for the kudos and bookmarks and comments. I love you all.
> 
> Feeling much better than I was, but I still have a cough. Persistent shit.
> 
> I should probably change my icon here from Santa hat Dirk, since way out of season, but I'm not sure what I should change it to.


	5. Brothers

Dirk took a deep breath and stared at the door in front of him. He had to make sure to himself that he was really ready to do this. He hadn't actually told anyone before, everyone who knew so far had found out or figured it somehow. He wasn't really sure he knew how to do this. He could rehearse the words in his head, but in the end, he didn't really know how Dave would react.

The Strider brothers had always been close, but not in a 'share my feelings' way, so Dirk had his doubts about how this would go. But now that Jake's family knew, keeping this from his little bro was giving him some pretty ugly feelings.

He thought on what might happen if Dave came over with him and he had to keep it from him still, or what might happen if Dave found out some other way. It tightened his resolve and he finally knocked.

After some moments, he heard Dave's voice answer, "Yeah?"

Dirk opened the door up and saw that Dave had obviously made himself look like he was working dutifully in case the knocker was one of their parents. He saw the boy's frame visibly relax at the sight of him. "Oh, it's just you."

"Yeah. Hey, bro." Dirk shut the door behind him.

Dave turned himself around to straddle the back of his chair and rested his arms across the top. He watched Dirk with his eyes as he found a place to sit on his bed. "What's up?" he prompted.

Dirk figured he'd better say something before he creeped his brother out with this serious silence after entering his bedroom. "I'm sorry," was the first thing that left his mouth.

"What'd you do?" Dave asked suspiciously.

Dirk sighed. It was a lot harder to say the words in real life that it had been in his head. Now there would be consequences he couldn't take back and his brother staring at him, expecting something.

"You didn't deserve to be grounded like that for that joke you made a couple weeks ago," Dirk told him evenly. This was part of the plan, to introduce the subject this way. To alleviate some of the guilt he felt for not rising to his defense. "Or even to be yelled at like that."

Dave's voice relaxed back into a casual tone. "Yeah, well, we both know that. Dad is ridiculous. Can't even make a stupid joke. I wasn't actually calling you a queer. But no, he has to take it like I'm fucking insulting your manhood. Can't just be teasing my bro."

"I should have stood up for you," Dirk continued. "But I left."

Dave shrugged. "Not like it would have helped to have Dad yell at you, too. He isn't rational."

"But what you said..." Dirk swallowed. Making the transition was not as easy as it seemed an hour ago when he was thinking this up.

"What I said?" Dave's eyebrows raised, trying to figure out what could possibly be his brother's point. He arrived at the wrong conclusion. "Look, I'm sorry if I-"

"It was true," Dirk cut him off quickly, before the words could continue and the explanation would have to include more things he didn't rehearse.

His mouth locked back up after the words were out, his lips sealed in a tight line. His hands curled into fists around the fabric of his pants near his knees. He felt waves of stress every moment Dave didn't respond.

"....."

The moments added up. Dave's mouth twitched a couple of times, but what it was attempting to twitch into was hard if not impossible to say. His head shook a little, as if trying to clear it to come up with some explanation that made sense.

"What was true?" Dave finally asked for clarification.

"Jake is my boyfriend," Dirk stated plainly and as evenly as he could manage through the tightness of his jaw.

Silence again. More mouth twitches, followed by something that might have resembled a short laugh. "You're joking with me."

Dirk shook his head. "I'm not. I am being 100% honest with you, I swear on...brotherhood itself. I know you were joking, but Jake is actually my boyfriend."

"But..." Dirk could see Dave struggling for words. "But you're not...not a..."

"A homosexual?" Dirk finished for him. "But I am."

Dave got himself up from his chair and came around in a sort of semi-circle, watching Dirk the entire time.

"...But you can't be." The words were quiet.

Dirk sighed and brought one of his hands up to his head. "Well, I'm sorry, but your probability figures must be off, because every person I've felt a physical attraction to has definitely been the owner of a penis."

Dave crossed his arms over his chest and took a slight step back from him. Dirk hung his head for a moment. This wasn't going very well. Not that it was the absolute worst, either. After all, his brother hadn't told him to get off his bed so he didn't catch his queer germs, so there must have been some hope in that impressionable mind of his.  
It was just that everything Dave knew about his brother didn't add up with what he thought he knew about men who loved other men. The resuting dissonance was causing him to disbelieve.

Dirk looked up again. "Look, I'm still me. This doesn't change anything else about me. Sexuality doesn't do anything to a person's personality. Those things are independent of each other."

Dave took a small step forward again, still watching Dirk warily.

"And Jake?"

Dirk wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say about Jake from the prompt, so he just said the first things he thought of to say. "Jake is wonderful. We've been friends for a long time, and it just sort of turned out that we both liked each other that way."

"How did you find out? Did you tell him? Or did he tell you?"

It was hard to discern how Dave felt from the questions. They were stated evenly, as requests for information, not as someone interested in the details of a relationship. Like he was using the information to try to figure Dirk out still.

"Neither. We were just horsing around...wrestling...and we kissed each other. So it was obvious."

Dave took a moment to absorb the information and make a connection. "That time Dad caught you in the room...was that it?"

"No," Dirk answered him quickly. "That was a different time. We've actually been dating for more like 5 months."

Dave swallowed. "Why tell me now?"

Dirk was startled by the question, although he realized it wasn't unreasonable from Dave's perspective. "Because Jake's family knows now."

Dave's mouth formed a small 'o' before he spoke again. "What do they think about it?"

"They're fine with it," Dirk told him quite honestly, somewhat hopeful from the question. "Jake's mom is happy for us."

Dave nodded and approached more, dropping his arms. "Are going to tell our parents?"

Dirk shoke his head and grimaced at the thought. "Oh, no. Dad would disown me. Are you fucking kidding me?"

If anything about this situation was obvious, it was that their father would have a very negative reaction if he ever were to find out. After all, they knew what he did at just the suggestion in a joke. The real thing would be so much worse.

Dave looked away a moment and then closed the distance between them, throwing his arms around Dirk in a tight hug, before quickly pushing himself away. "You're dumb," he stated immediately after releasing him.

Dirk let out a short, surprised laugh.

Dave continued, "But you're okay."

He returned to his seat, going back to sitting the right way around. Then turned his head over his shoulder to look at his brother, who was still sitting on his bed. "Now get the fuck out of my room."

Dirk made a small sound of startled amusement, almost a snort, then got himself up from the bed and walked to the door. Before he left though, he turned back to ask, "So we're cool?"

"What a question to ask," Dave answered in the recognizable voice of his fake ego. "We're always cool."

"That we are," Dirk replied back easily. There had been something about Dave's words and tone that relaxed him. Like, even though they'd had this sort of stiff, awkward conversation, that everything was back to normal. They were bros, and nothing would ever change that.

He exited, going back to his own room and letting out a sigh of relief.

He felt a tremendous weight being lifted from him. So much so that he actually felt momentarily light-headed.

He sat down on his own bed and closed his eyes for a minute or so.

He could go to Jake's house and be accepted and open and hold his hand and maybe sneak in a few kisses now and then. And then could come here and close the door and Dave would know not to disturb them and they would just have to be quiet enough to not make his parents come up and they would be fine...

Everything could work out.

It could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was something about this chapter that I wasn't so happy with, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I'm not sure if I'm just being negative about my work today or if there is something that legitimately does not flow well / is not up to par.
> 
> I've been so flattered with the response to this fic so far, I want to live up to it.
> 
> Thank you, thank you all so much for reading this fic so far, and especially to those that have left me kudos, comments, and bookmarks. I saw the kudos number for this fic surpass my last one while it was still about 300 views behind, which is amazing.
> 
> Anyway, what I've really been wanting to get to is up next, so stick around!


	6. No Son of Mine

Things were, in fact, working out. So well that it even had the effect of Dirk actually feeling something like optimistic, not something he was generally accustomed to.

Dave even commented on it one day. "You look...I don't know, happy or something," he told him with an odd sort of thinking expression, as if considering what doom this emotion might bring.

Dirk looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not usually happy?" he asked.

"No, you usually look miserable."

Dirk supposed that was about right. Not that he was generally miserable, exactly, but closed in. Always worrying about things. Not able to enjoy the things he should be enjoying because he was so caught up with the consequences. He didn't know what it was like to be carefree. But lately...

A smile started to invade the edges of his lips.

Dave backed away a step. "Don't smile, you're freaking me out."

Dirk smiled a bit wider and purposely took some steps forward. Dave backed away some more and jokingly formed his pointer fingers into a cross in front of him.

Dirk opened his mouth to reveal his teeth and, still approaching, put his arms in front of him and wiggled his fingers. "Your puny faith cannot stop me," he intoned.

Dave ran into his room and shut the door, then emerged again moments later as if nothing had happened, casually passing him by, to Dirk's amusement.

Dirk thought about the happiness, though. Things had been so good lately. Almost too good.

Over the weekend, Dirk and Jake were in Jake's living room, watching one of his movies. Nothing special, really, but it was all in the way they were positioned. Leaning comfortably against each other, with their fingers laced together. It felt really nice, this casual, open sort of affection.

Dave and Jade came in and they didn't have to move or tense up. Jake just looked over at them and then pointed at the screen and told them, "Look! This guy's head is about to explode." And with that, their younger siblings ended up sitting on the floor in front of the couch and watching the rest of the movie with them.

As simple as it was, this sort of innocent intimacy was probably responsible for more happiness than any sort of passionate kissing.

Although, that was certainly nice too, when they could get it.

They would get in some quicker types of kisses in Jake's room, when no one was in the hall, but it was harder to really get into much more when their affection was essentially on public display. So more visits to the Strider household were made, shut up in Dirk's room, just quiet enough to not attract attention like before.

Mrs. Strider seemed happy enough that Jake was visiting again, and thus things were back to normal, the way she saw them, being completely unaware of what was transpiring in the room upstairs.

They had a few close calls, followed by being suspiciously scolded for locking the door. Most days they didn't have either problem, though. Dirk was becoming dangerous levels of comfortable, almost complacent, about his situation, so he could lose himself into Jake. And so it was late May when they were tangled up in each other, having a tongue battle for dominance, completely caught up in each other, when there was suddenly a sort of breeze followed by a heavy, negative presence.

He pulled away, a line of spit trailing awkwardly between them. Dirk put a hand to his mouth, his eyes moving toward the intruder, his neck feeling too stiff to move at first, although it started to after, slowly and mechanically.

Both of his parents were there. His mother had the palm of her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. His father looked like he hadn't moved much from opening the door. He stared, an unreadable expression on his face. The fact that he wasn't yelling perhaps made him more frightening.

"Explain yourself," he stated quietly.

Even if Dirk's vocal chords could unfreeze enough to speak, there was nothing to say. He knew there must be a part of his father that, like Dave, would have a hard time equating Dirk with his image of a homosexual. A part that sought some other explanation. But there was none to be had. Nothing he could pull out of the deepest reaches of his imagination that would satisfy his father as an excuse once said. And unlike Dave, the part that could see the truth would not be accepting of it.

"Give me an explanation now, boy," the deep voice barked.

Dirk's vocal chords finally jumped into working. "I don't have one," he said, quietly and stiff.

"What do you mean you don't have one?" His father continued. "What were you doing?"

It was pretty plain what he'd been doing. No lie could be sufficient cover-up for that. Any excuse would make him seem nothing but weak and pathetic.

"We were kissing." The words were barely on the audible register, but they somehow seemed loud in the incredible quiet that encased the room.

The silence that followed seemed to stretch into eternity. Silence and the pounding of his heart, and Jake's, both way too fast. They had no idea what was coming, but it felt like death.

"Jake, I suggest you get yourself out of my house right now." The words were spoken calmly, but with veiled fire, as to suggest less a suggestion and more a threat.

Jake's heart skipped a beat and he looked at Dirk nervously. He feared what might happen to him when he left. That his father might do anything away from outside eyes. But it could also get worse with every moment he stayed. He hesitated.

Dirk's mouth formed the word "Go" without speaking it, followed by "please".

At that, Jake disentangled himself the rest of the way and bolted, grabbing his bag before slipping past the Striders, who parted at the doorway to let him by. The front door shut rather loudly from down the stairs several moments later.

Dave was stirred out of his room by the commotion, and then froze, seeing his parents that way in front of Dirk's door. He could draw his own conclusions, and they weren't good.

Their father addressed him without looking at him, still staring into the room. "Dave, you are an only child," he stated coldly.

Their mother broke down into sobs and ran down the stairs.

Mr. Strider shut the door, quietly clicking it into place and then walked down the hallway without another word.

Dirk just sat there on his bed, motionless, for several minutes. His brain felt like it shut down. He couldn't think, couldn't care, about anything.

He stood up slowly and stiffly, like a metal man that hadn't oiled his joints. His eyes scanned his room. Then he strode to his closet and took out several bags. One small enough to fit into his locker in addition to his backpack and books. The others were larger.

He started packing.

Between his school bag and the other locker-size one, he put as much as he could and still have them fit. Priority by necessity and meaning. His school things, laptop, some clothes, the most personal of his belongings and anything else he might need for a few days that he didn't need before morning. He made sure to leave room for his pajamas, toothbrush, and other such things, though.

Methodically, he started packing the rest of his possessions into other bags, until his room was practically bare of personal touch. His drawers were empty of clothes. He left one set of clothing out for the morning, then collapsed on his bed. He didn't even know what time it was.

When his alarm went off in the morning, he felt numb. Inhuman.

He got dressed and packed the rest of his things as he finished with them.

His father didn't speak to him or even acknowledge his existence when he arrived downstairs.

Dave looked at him with a worried expression. "Dirk..." he started to say.

Mr. Strider's eyes strolled over to him before he could continue. "Dave, aren't you a little old for imaginary friends?"

Dave's mouth opened in shock. Their mother burst into tears again.

Dirk said nothing. There was no reassuring glance to give his little brother. His eyes, if they could be seen, were empty of all emotion and would probably only trouble him more.

He shook his head slightly and finished what he needed to prepare for school. He took his school bag and the other small bag and left.

He had absolutely no intentions of returning.

Maybe some day Dave would be able to bring him his other things, but he didn't count on it, only prepared for it, in case.

He arrived at school on autopilot, still unable to think or feel very much at all until he heard the voice.

"Dirk!" it cried out, piercing the hallway and Dirk's muffled senses, and short moments later, Jake flew into his arms, grasping him so tight, he had to fight a bit to breathe.

The rush hit him like an oncoming train and his brain fired up again. He wound his arms around Jake, returning his embrace. "I'm alright," he told him, although his voice shook a little bit, despite his attempts to control it.

He could feel Jake's concern through every point of contact with his body, and he tried returning those feelings with reassurance. He was here and he wasn't harmed. There was nothing to worry about now.

Jake calmed himself in his arms, both of them holding onto each other as if they hadn't in ages and letting go could end them. Their fingers clutched into each other's shirts, their faces pressed against each other.

It was only after a couple minutes like that that they became aware enough of their surroundings to realize that an entire hallway's worth of teenagers were staring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part of the fic has been coming since its inception.
> 
> Next chapter will pick right up where this one stops, so a sort of "To Be Continued" here.
> 
> By the way, this chapter is brought to you by the snow storm here, because I was supposed to have work today, but we closed early and I didn't have to go. So I was able to write instead.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.


	7. Redamancy

Dirk stiffened at the feel of the eyes on him and Jake pulled somewhat away from him, separating their heads from each other, but keeping his arms around him.

"Um..." Jake began, feeling uncomfortable.

"Alright already!" a girl's voice cut across the hallway. Its owner was Roxy, and she shortly parted the crowd like the red sea, her face appearing the picture of unimpressed, slightly annoyed disappointment. "What the fuck is wrong with all of you?" she reprimanded the other students. "Never seen two guys hugging before? Geez."

The students were, if anything, shocked into silence. Even if they had seen two guys hug, it was generally not like how they had just witnessed, but Roxy commanded and no one had the guts to say anything.

"Don't you people have books to get or somethin?" she continued. The crowd started dispersing out of shock or shame, although it didn't take long for this to turn to gossip among smaller circles.

Dirk and Jake hadn't moved. They both looked at Roxy.

She did a hair flip accompanied by a self-satisfied smile. "Good morning, boys," she greeted, gave them a little hand wave and then turned to her locker.

The boys turned to look at each other a few moments before finally letting their arms drop away. They stood there for just long enough to qualify as awkward before Dirk went to his locker to deposit his bags. Jake followed him.

"So-" The first bell rang before Jake could fully start his sentence. He waited for it to finish before continuing his thought, "...Should I assume you are coming home with me today?"

Dirk nodded, extracting the things he needed for his first classes of the day before slamming the locker shut, bags inside. "Yeah," he said flatly.

Jake nodded back at him and gave him a weak smile. Dirk headed toward his homeroom with Jake following behind him like a puppy.

Dirk whipped back around, startling his boyfriend slightly. "You don't need to follow me to class. I can handle myself. Go to your own."

Jake swallowed and nodded. Then he leaned in to give Dirk a quick, nervous peck on his cheek. Dirk noticed a couple of glances in their direction by some of the students still in the hall.

"I'll see you at lunch, right?" Jake asked him for confirmation once he pulled back away.

"Yeah," Dirk affirmed and turned back toward the direction of his homeroom. Jake watched him for a couple of seconds, biting his bottom lip, before turning and heading to his own.

Dirk swung himself into his usual seat beside Roxy and looked down at the desk. Roxy leaned in toward him. "So, Dirk," she spoke to him intently, looking slightly sideways at him, "that thing in the hall there...are you and Jake...?"

Dirk sighed quietly and started to open his mouth to respond when Roxy straightened up at looked sharply at another student near them that had leaned in a bit. "Excuse us, we are having a private conversation here," she scolded.

They straightened back up and looked pointedly away. Roxy huffed quickly then leaned back in toward Dirk. "So are you...?" she repeated her unfinished question.

"He's my boyfriend," Dirk told her without needing to hear the rest of it.

Roxy absorbed this answer quickly and moved on to her next question, "So wh-" but the bell cut her off before she could ask it. She tapped her finger impatiently on the desk all through announcements before she could speak again.

She leaned back in immediately as they finished. "So what happened? When did it happen? Did you confess? Were you nervous he wouldn't love you back?" The series of questions came quickly and without room to answer. Dirk rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to start to answer her, but she added one more before he could. "...What if your parents find out?"

He swallowed thickly and took a deep breath before tackling them one by one. "It's complicated, and depends on which 'what' you are talking about. We've been together since November if that's what you're asking. Not exactly. Irrelevant. And...it's...too late for that."

Roxy's eyes widened. She craned her neck to look into his face better and more directly, her expression begging more questions that her brain tried to find the words to formulate.

"I don't want to talk about it here. Especially what happened with my parents." He gave a side glance to the rest of the class and Roxy nodded, backing away from his face slightly.

"Aw, man, though, I feel like crap now, Dirk," Roxy slumped as she spoke. "You know I've been encouraging Jane about Jake this whole time? I didn't know. I'm sorry." She slumped further, her head in her arms, breaching the gap between Dirk's desk and her own. "...I should talk to her at lunch."

Dirk felt a pang of guilt, somewhat feeling like he should be the one to talk to her. Jane was his friend, too, and he knew how he'd feel if the situation were opposite. But it was hard and awkward to bring it up with her when they'd never talked about it, and easier to let Roxy handle it for now and pretend it wasn't a Thing.

"...I'll keep Jake away?" he offered.

Roxy nodded, straightening herself up and clasping her hands. "Thank you."

The words of appreciation gave Dirk pause for a moment. "Actually, thank you," he told her.

"Hm?"

"For the hallway. That was cool of you," he clarified.

She smiled and the bell to dismiss homeroom rang out. They collected their books as it rang and Roxy followed closely behind Dirk when they got up.

"Well, I try," she responded to the previous sentiment.

"See you, Rox," Dirk said at the door and they parted to their classes.

Lunchtime came, and Dirk hurried to the cafeteria to catch Jake before he sat at the usual table. He made it just in time, coming from behind and holding Jake back by the wrist.

Jake jerked his stride and turned toward the grip, meeting Dirk's eyes. "Dirk?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow slightly.

Dirk noted some glares coming from girls in the Jake Appreciation Society and wondered how far gossip had travelled since the morning. "Why don't we sit somewhere else today? I'm kind of done with being the center of attention after this morning," he used as an excuse.

Jake nodded slowly. "Alright...we can...sit in the back corner?" he suggestion.

Dirk nodded, relieved. Most people sat in the main part of the cafeteria, between the two entrances. There was another, angled off section, like the foot of an 'L', that was inhabited mostly by outcasts and people that were late to lunch. The group of Dirk, Jake, Roxy and Jane used to sit there themselves Freshman year, but they moved to the main part this year.

Jake pulled his wrist out of Dirk's grip and, after a moment's hesitation, grabbed his hand instead. Dirk could practically feel the looks this got them in his bones and he had to restrain himself a bit to not run to the other section. Doing so would have only attracted more attention anyway.

The people already seated in the back cafe pleasantly barely paid them any attention. Dirk deposited his things next to Jake before leaving to get food. Jake had a packed lunch courtesy of his mother.

Dirk spied Roxy and Jane locked deeply in conversation as he passed to the lunch line. He noted no one else was at the table. Roxy must have used her scare tactics again. He looked back away before he'd be noticed by one of them, attained his food and returned to Jake.

The experience was oddly pleasant in the middle of a strained day. Eating with Jake, occasionally brushing hands, tossing back jokes or flirtations, and no one really paying much attention or giving a damn. It made even the cafeteria food seem not that bad.

Everything was still a nightmare. As nice as Jake and his mother were to take him into their home, the situation wasn't ideal, and he was also worried for his brother. And now they'd have to deal with school gossip and probably a share of ridicule or even bullying. He didn't know if Jake expected that or how willing he was to deal with it, either.

But if he could savor one thing in this moment, it was the feeling of his love being returned. As much as he tried to dispel it, he'd always had a nagging paranoia. One that told him that Jake's public face was his real one and what they had in private was some sort of...attraction to the secret or to the danger.

But that was gone now. The secret was out, the danger had become consequence. And Jake was still here.

And that was something to hold onto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally intended to have this chapter to go until the end of the day, but it kind of cut off better here.
> 
> Again, I want to thank everyone for reading and following this fic and for kudos and bookmarks and wow.
> 
> I just hope you continue to enjoy it.


	8. Heart and Home

The rest of the day was tolerable, if filled with more glances and whispers than was comfortable.

The bus ride home to Jake's was the most daunting part. Kids would notice that this wasn't Dirk's usual bus, and more specifically, that it was Jake's, with whom he'd been caught embracing in a rather non-platonic manner that morning.

They found a seat as quickly as they could, Dirk squeezing by with his bags. At least between the high backs of the bus seats they were less conspicuous. Although, at one point Jake's hand found itself to Dirk's thigh and Dirk thanked his body for cooperating every minute he didn't get a really inappropriate boner.

They got off and Jake's stop and walked a couple of blocks to the house, arriving to Jake's mom standing in the doorway.

She ran to them and gave Dirk a hug. "Oh Dirk, baby," she said with a mix of concern and relief as she squeezed him. "Jake told me what happened last night. We were so worried for you."

"I'm alright," Dirk told her. "Thanks for taking me in."

She stepped back and looked at him, still holding his shoulders. "It isn't any bother to me. I had half a mind to steal you away earlier if I could. However," she let go of him completely and stepped back again, looking at both of them, "it's also my duty as a mother to inform you both that you are idiots." They flinched. "...But also that I love you and forgive you. And we should all come inside now."

She ushered them both inside and closed the door.

"Now," she continued, "I set up the guest room for you, so you can take your things in there and settle in a bit." She lead them upstairs and opened a door at the far end of the hall. She said 'set up', but if anything it looked like the room had been cleaned and stripped. All the little guest room decor and knick-knacks that she knew wouldn't be to Dirk's taste were removed.

Dirk set his bags down on the floor and took a moment to look around. "How did you have time to do this?" he asked her.

She shrugged and smiled slightly at him. "I took the day off. Figured it wasn't a lie, since you worried me sick."

Dirk wasn't sure how to respond to that. He felt grateful and slightly guilty at once. "I'm sorry," was what he ultimately decided on.

She shook her head. "Now boys, after you settle in, remember you both still have homework to do."

Jake opened his mouth, as if to protest, but she held up a finger to silence him before he could start. "If you want, you can both come down to the kitchen together to work on it and I'll make you some sweet tea," she offered.

She smiled again and left them with the door wide open.

Jake stood, looking after her a moment, while Dirk opened up his bags.

Jake turned back to his boyfriend. "You want any help with that?" he asked.

Dirk shrugged. "It isn't very much, and I'd rather know where I put everything myself." He paused before continuing with a thought, "I suppose you could shove my clothes in the closet, since that's fairly obvious."

Jake nodded and went about doing so as Dirk put his computer on the desk, then started taking out and arranging his personal items.

"You hardly brought anything," Jake stated with a slight frown as he finished with his task and shut the closet door.

Dirk continued what he was doing, only looking up briefly. "I didn't have enough room in my school locker to keep much in there, and I wasn't about to drag a bag around with me all day," he explained.

"I guess that makes sense," Jake relented, sitting himself on the bed.

"I packed bags with the rest of my stuff just in case. Maybe Dave would be able to bring it over or something. But there's a definite chance I may not see any of it again." Dirk stopped and looked down a moment. There was a chance he might not even see Dave again. He wasn't sure his parents would ever allow him to visit, let alone come with his bags.

Jake bit his lip and fiddled with his hands, feeling awkward in the silence that followed Dirk's remark.

He stood up suddenly. "Hold on, I'll be right back," he announced and left the room quickly, went into his own to find something, and came back.

He handed the item over to Dirk.

It was a photo. Dirk remembered Jake's mom taking it at the house a few weeks previous. It featured them with their arms around each other, and also their siblings, with Jade grinning and giving Dave bunny ears.

Dirk looked back up at Jake, almost smiling, but not quite. "Thanks," he said, putting it up on the desk where he could see it prominently.

Jake beamed at him. "You are most welcome!" he replied.

After Dirk finished with what he had, Jake brought him to the bathroom to show him where he could put his toothbrush and deodorant and other such items. Then they grabbed their books and headed downstairs.

Jake's mom smiled as she greeted them and handed them both glasses, leaving the pitcher on the table.

The boys set out their things, Dirk immediately getting to work, and Jake following after a moment of watching Dirk hesitantly.

Jade came home not long after and stared at them as she passed by. "Is Jake doing his homework?" she asked loudly in exaggerated disbelief.

"Hey!" Jake complained, while his mother laughed. Dirk pressed his lips together, holding in his own amusement.

"You can join them if you'd like," their mother addressed Jade. "There's sweet tea on the table."

Jade tilted her head and considered a moment before shrugging and plopping herself down with them, getting a glass and filling it, then taking her own books out.

Jade finished first, going off to her room in something between a run and a skip. Dirk finished before Jake, but stuck around, getting a book out and reading quietly while Jake's mom started supper.

After some time, the phone rang, and she quickly turned the heat down on something before going to answer it. She looked at the name before picking up. "Hello?" she said sharply, like she was prepared for a fight.

Both boys looked up at the sound.

"Yes, he's here." The words came out slightly softer than before, but still tense. "He can stay as long as he needs to, I gave him the guest room."

There was a pause and her eyes shifted to Dirk. "Would you like to talk to-"

After a few short moments, she blinked with a somewhat bewildered expression, pulling the phone away from her ear and staring at it for a couple seconds before hanging it up.

She turned to Dirk and he waited anxiously.

"That was your mother," she explained, to no one's surprise. "She wanted to know if you were here, since you didn't come home. So I told her you were and that you could stay and she thanked me and hung up."

Dirk noted that she didn't mention the part where she tried to offer his mother to talk to him and got cut off. So she was concerned enough to make sure he was under a roof and not on the street, but still didn't want to speak to him. He didn't ask about it.

Jake's mom put her hand on his shoulder for a moment before returning to supper. Dirk sat still in his seat and closed his eyes a moment. Jake watched him closely, slowly reaching out to take Dirk's hand and squeeze it slightly. Dirk opened his eyes back up and turned them to Jake. He took a breath and then squeezed back.

"You should finish up before supper," he said quietly and stood up. Jake looked up at him questioningly.

"I'm just going to the bathroom," Dirk told him and left the table to do just that.

The mood lightened again with supper, and Dirk and Jake returned to the guest room - now Dirk's room - after they finished.

They sat down on the bed and gave each other quick kisses, increasing in length once they become less weary of the open door. Now that they were at the end of the hall, rather than Jake's room, their chance of being passed by and seen was dramatically less. They spent the evening between this and just talking, hanging out, playing games that Jake pulled from his room. Sometimes a mix, kisses being exchanged during a game, or speaking against each other's lips.

After they had gotten ready for the night, teeth brushed and in pajamas, they laid down in the bed, above the covers, arms wrapped around each other and foreheads pressed together.

There was a knock on the open door frame and they propped themselves up and turned their heads to look. Jake sighed, seeing his mom standing there. "I assume you are here to kick me out to my own room?"

She pressed her lips together and looked at them silently for long enough to make them slightly uncomfortable. Jake started to get himself up when she finally spoke. "No," she told him, and he froze in the action, looking at her in utter disbelief.

"One night," she clarified, holding up her finger. "Since today was so stressful for all of us, I think I can allow you that much. But that's it. Tomorrow, you go back to your room, that understood?"

Jake nodded slowly, still looking at her like she was from outer space.

"The door must remain open, absolutely no funny business, and you will _sleep_ ," she emphasized. "And I don't just mean not doing inappropriate things, I mean sleep, don't stay up. You have school tomorrow. Don't make me regret this."

They both nodded, somewhat dazed. She smiled softly and gave them a goodnight before leaving.

Jake pulled the covers down so they could get under them and they curled back up with each other, hearts pounding in their chests.

They were being allowed to sleep with each other. Well, not _sleep_ with each other, but still. She hadn't even asked one of them to leave the bed.

It was weird sometimes how simple things could seem so intimate when it was with the right person.

One more kiss was pressed between them before they slowed their breathing and eventually nodded off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!
> 
> Even though it's late May in the fic.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, my lovelies. All your kudos, bookmarks and comments are really appreciated. And also just keeping up with this, thank you.


	9. Rumors

Dirk and Jake were both awoken by the feeling of someone grabbing their feet - something Jake was used to, but Dirk wasn't. His startled, knee-jerk reaction was literally that, and a slightly pained sound from Jake immediately followed.

"Rise and shine, boys," came the voice of Jake's mom from the end of the bed. Dirk cracked an eye open and Jake rubbed his with his hands.

"You have to get ready for school, come on." She clapped her hands as she said the last two words.

Dirk pulled himself into a sitting position, leaning an arm on one raised knee. Jake pushed himself up onto his arms beside him.

Satisfied, Jake's mother walked back over to the door. "Don't dilly dally," she stated before parting.

Jake groaned a bit, looking at his clock. "What frigging even," he complained. "This is the time I normally get up when I still have homework to do."

Dirk peeked over at him, one eye still half closed. "You normally still have homework to do in the morning? Why am I not surprised?" His voice sounded groggy.

"Excuse you, sir!" Jake turned his disgrunted face on Dirk. "That's one bad thing about this whole arrangement. Can't I just be a bad influence on you instead?"

Dirk laughed a little, not yet having the energy to suppress it. Jake scowled at him some more, and he decided to back pedal the conversation a bit to the time complaint. "Anyway, it needs to be a bit early, because we both need to take showers," he explained. "And it's not like we can take it at the same time."

There was a pause and a moment where neither of them looked at each other, both of them considering that thought, impossible though it was.

Dirk turned his back to Jake to hang his legs off the bed and stretched, getting himself to his feet a moment later. Jake brought himself to a sitting position and Dirk walked around the bed to the closet.

"You going to go first?" Jake asked, but continued without waiting for a reply. "But what should I do while I wait for my turn?"

Dirk shrugged. "Whatever you want to, I guess. Although, keep an eye on the time, and if the water is still going in ten or fifteen minutes, knock on the door because I might have spaced out," he instructed while he grabbed clothing. He couldn't afford to take too much time on a school day, and also with Jake waiting on him. Beside that, he also would feel somewhat guilty for wasting their water when the family was already nice enough for taking him in.

Jake raised an eyebrow and grinned. "So Mr. Intense spaces out sometimes, huh? Who would've thunk it?"

Dirk refused to acknowledge the tease and left the room with the clothing, heading to the bathroom. Jake was left alone sitting on the bed still. He ran his hands over the rumpled bedspread once.

It wasn't exactly how he pictured a first morning waking up with his boyfriend. It was supposed to be more like, gradually opening his eyes with the feeling of their arms still wrapped around each other, maybe a nice good morning kiss before getting up after a few minutes of relaxing in each other's arms and just taking the moment in.  
Instead it was a rude awakening and a knee to the thigh.

He sighed and got up to make the bed as one of his activities while he waited. Ten minutes later, he knocked on the bathroom door as instructed, and five minutes after that Dirk emerged and they switched.

Jade came downstairs in her pajamas immediately after being woken up and they all had breakfast together. She snagged Dirk's arm after they finished, before he could leave.

"I talked to Dave last night," she told him. "You should sign in tonight."

Dirk turned and looked into her eyes, worry and hope reflected out of them, and he nodded. She let go and he left to walk to the bus stop with Jake.

At school they separated to go to their respective lockers. Dirk just headed straight to his homeroom afterward, not waiting for the bell. He hoped Jake would understand. He didn't want to give the hallway another spectacle, and most anyone else he wanted to avoid at the moment. He crossed his arms on the desk and leaned his head down, closing his eyes to rest while he waited.

He ignored the sound of the door opening. Probably just another early student avoiding the mess of the hallway. They would probably appreciate not having to interact, anyway.

Or so he thought.

The figure continued around to beside him, and he looked up to find Roxy not even a foot from his face.

"Fuck, Roxy, what are you doing here?" he asked while sitting himself back up straight.

She smirked. "Oh what was that? I believe there was some fancy words about us both going to the same school and being in this room every day and all."

He gave her an unamused side glance. "I meant this early. You are never here at this time."

"Could say the same for you," she replied. Then she continued with an actual explaination before he could say anything more. "I saw you come in."

Dirk let out a breath and looked at her fully. Her expression had dropped into concern. "I suppose you want that explanation I wouldn't give you yesterday?" he asked quietly.

"If we have time. Dumb school. I don't want to be interrupted by peeps walking in." She gave a slightly annoyed expression to the door, then turned her focus back to Dirk. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you that there is some absolute ridic rumors about you an' Jake going around."

"How ridiculous could it get? Is the actually true rumor that we are together not enough for them? So what, do you mean exaggerating what went on in the hallway, like people saying we made out or something?"

"No. Well, I mean yes, there is some of that, but that's not what I meant. You are totes underestimating the ability of rumors to be off the wall nutso, Dirky," she commented, turning her pointer finger around her ear and pursing her lips to emphasize the crazy.

Dirk crossed his arms. "Alright. So give me a for instance."

"Okay, I'll tell you the weirdest one I heard so far," Roxy supplied, almost with eagerness. "I heard that the reason that Jake never went out with any of those girls was that he was gay and in love with you, and that he went to that freaky foreign junior girl that everyone thinks is a witch and had her cast a spell on you to make you his love slave."

" _What_?" The absurdity of that was fucking unreal. "Tossing aside the end bit, which is so stupid I can't even imagine, let's start with that Jake isn't even homosexual. He's bi or pan or demi or possibly a picture of himself shrugging. Why would anyone even think that I'm the one that's not?"

Roxy shrugged one shoulder. "I dunno. Maybe 'cause you're so unemotional robot all the time, so the display the other day seemed more out of character for you? I don't fuckin' know."

Dirk pressed his thumb and forefinger around his nose and sighed. The rumors were a mix of dumb and problematic. He also smelt a tinge of bitter Jake fangirl in the beginning of that one. It wasn't so much a problem that anyone would actually believe that sort of bullshit, but more the animosity that created them in the first place.

He decided to change the subject somewhat. "How's Jane?" he asked, pulling his fingers back away from his face.

Roxy side glanced away from him and then back. "She's...alright. Ish. But you know, the guy she really liked is unavailable." She looked down and away again. "I know that feel."

Dirk looked away as well.

The silence that stretched between them was broken by the bell and more students started trickling in the room.

Roxy offered Dirk a smile. "Jake's a lucky guy," she told him.

Roxy chatted away for the rest of homeroom, not delving back into serious topics, but the girl could never welcome silence for long. Dirk gave her short responses, just to let her know he was still listening.

When the bell rang at the end, she suggested that maybe she could find a time to come over after school and they could talk "about that thing" then.

Lunchtime came, and Dirk was uncertain on what to do. He wanted to go back to sitting with his friends, but he also enjoyed the relative privacy of the back cafe with Jake the other day. Maybe he could come with a good excuse to move the whole group back there. But then, he was also worried about awkwardness with Jane if Jake were to hold his hand or something.

Not that that was relevant at the moment.

Jake was late.

They sat at their usual table, Roxy dominating the conversation. Jake came up to them six minutes later and plopped himself down. They all looked at him, and he gave them a smile. "So, what are we talking about?" he asked, seeming chipper enough, although there was an edge of something behind his words.

Dirk's fear of awkwardness didn't get put to test - Jake didn't touch him. He would be relieved if he wasn't so worried about that edge he'd heard and the reason for Jake's lateness in the first place. Acute paranoia started brewing in his mind to join the concern.

He almost reached out to grab Jake's hand himself, despite his earlier fear of Jake doing the same. He wasn't sure if he wanted to comfort and reassure Jake or his own mind, but he suspected both. Either way, he stopped himself, reminding himself he had no wish to make things awkward or draw attention to them.

Jake's locker was on Dirk's way back to class, so he walked with him, silently in the crowd. He noticed a small, ripped piece of notebook paper on the ground not far from it as Jake played with his lock. On any other day, he would have paid it no mind, but Jake's behavior made him suspicious of everything, so he bent to pick it up.

Jake noticed too late and froze himself with his arm extended out to Dirk, as if to rip the paper out of his hand. Dirk looked at it silently, and every muscle in his body tensed up. His jaw clenched.

The paper had the word 'fag' written on it.

Whoever wrote it was lucky Dirk had no idea who they were, or they would be in severe danger of broken bones at this moment.

"Dirk..." Jake finally found the voice to say, but he couldn't continue.

Without a word, Dirk strode intently over to the nearest garbage, tore the paper into as many pieces as he could manage with his fingers, and let the bits scatter into the waste. He had a look in his eyes like murder and his pupils danced slightly, as if watching the embers of an imaginary fire.

Then he went off down the hall without so much as a glance back in Jake's direction.


	10. Consequence

Dirk led the way to the house, walking ahead of Jake until he reached the door, which was locked. He turned around to Jake, roughly ten feet behind him, who produced his house key from his bag.

"I really should ask Mom to get you a key, too." Jake's words were the first spoken between them since they met back up before the bus ride. "It's only polite, since your living with us and all."

Dirk only grunted in response. He left the house with Jake, he came back with Jake, he really didn't have much use for a key, but he supposed the gesture was so that he felt welcomed and didn't have to rely on him. He didn't care about that right now.

Jake sighed and let them both inside, closing the door behind them. "Dirk, can you not-" He turned away from the door to Dirk, but got nothing but his back, still walking.

Jake trotted after him. This was pretty unfair, all and all. Dirk was pissed off at some unknown locker note bully, and while he wasn't trying to be mean to Jake, his coldness was making him very uncomfortable.

The words "Do you want to talk about this?" managed to rise to the surface to leave Jake's mouth. They almost didn't. He almost let Dirk just walk up the stairs and away from him, but instead Dirk paused with his foot on the first step and turned around to face him.

Dirk opened his mouth, but then closed it. He was silent for some moments, and so was Jake. Jake wished he could see his eyes, but they were once again hidden behind those pointy shades of his. One of Dirk's hands clenched into a fist.

"Have people been bothering you?" Dirk finally asked, the softness of concern was sharpened by an edge of anger in his voice.

Jake looked away, not certain how to answer. It wasn't that people had really been upfront cruel to him, exactly. More like, people that used to talk and be friendly with him were being stiff or ignoring him. And some of the whispers and stares were obvious enough for even him to notice.

And then there was the note...

It fell out of his locker when he opened it to retrieve his lunch. He had picked it up and stared at it awhile before letting it fall to the ground again.

He didn't know what to think. His friendly world was turning out to be cruel. Almost nothing had changed, and yet everything had.

Plus he had to fight his mind struggling to defend himself. Other than feel shocked and angered that the word had been used at all - as he might have been had it been aimed at Dirk, and how it seemed Dirk was - a part of him rose to defend himself in that he wasn't even homosexual, and then the rest of him felt ashamed. That shouldn't be a defense, it shouldn't make a difference. How could he properly face Dirk about it if he thought that?

"I don't-" Jake's voice faltered and he managed to turn back to Dirk once more, shaking his head somewhat. "I don't know who my friends are anymore."

As if in answer to Jake's statement, Dirk's phone chimed with a message from Roxy, asking when and where they could talk. Dirk showed it wordlessly to Jake, who managed a small smile. A reply was made to have her come to Jake's as soon as she could.

A pink sports car pulled up into the drive not ten minutes later and Dirk opened the door before she could even knock.

"Hello, Roxy," Jake greeted from behind him, giving a slight wave.

"Hey, Jakey," she responded to him, giving a tentative smile and coming in completely, turning toward Dirk as she passed him. "At least you are being allowed to visit here?" Her question begged 'so it can't be that terrible, can it?'.

Dirk sighed and closed the door. Roxy turned back to Jake, who froze and his eyes turned immediately to his boyfriend.

Dirk leaned his back against the door and didn't particularly look at either of them. "I'm living here now," he stated.

That sunk in heavily and Roxy gulped. It was that terrible. It was that terrible and more. "Your dad kicked you out," she assumed.

Dirk gritted his teeth and knit his brows together. "Not...exactly."

"What'd'ya mean 'not exactly'?"

"Uh..." Jake cut in uncertainly. "...Why don't we move to the living room or something? No use being all lackadaisy standing at the doorway like a bunch of ninnies." He grabbed at his own hands and laughed out of nerves, then headed toward the mentioned room before his suggestion could be met with a verbal response.

The other two followed him and all three teens sat down awkwardly before Roxy broke the silence again with her previous curiosity.

"So what? You run away or something? Is your dad gonna be like, knocking down the door like a big, angry beast or what?" Genuine concern was mixed with Roxy's outrageousness.

Jake was an observer, sitting on the edge of the chair cushion, looking between the other two and twiddling with his fingers.

Dirk shook his head. "While in all technicality, I wasn't tossed out, according to my father I wasn't his son, and also by the morning I didn't exist. So it was all but official. Anyway, my mom called after school, so she knows I'm here and no one has come for me."

"Oh, Dirk..." she gave him a little puckered frown like one she might make when she found a wounded animal.

"Don't you dare pity me," he shot back at her. He didn't want that right now. He told her so she would know, not so she'd give him any sort of sympathy. It wasn't helpful. He had trouble expressing his own emotions, and pity would only serve to remind him why his situation was upsetting. Those feelings would only serve to eat away at him as always, or perhaps gather and pool together, preparing for an explosion.

Roxy closed her mouth for a bit. Then she took a breath and let out a short laugh. "You're right!" she proclaimed. She leaned back in her seat and tilted her head up sightly. "You get to live with your boyfriend, how lucky is that?" It was hard to discern from her tone how lucky she actually believed it was.

"So," she continued, sitting back up and looking between the both of them with a smirk. "Do you both get to sleep in Jake's room, or what?" Her eyebrows waggled a bit, and then she winked.

Jake laughed and shook his head. Dirk gave a short snort. "I sleep in the guest room," he told her. He conviently didn't mention that Jake did as well the night before. It would only open them to more teasing.

"Well, that's boring," she commented in return. "Let's talk about something else. Like, let me tell you about what my sis heard the other day..."

Roxy stuck around and chatted until Jade came home. She seemed to take that as the signal to leave before mama bear returned from work. She ruffled the younger girl's hair and asked her how her day was before saying bye to all of them and taking off in the pink car again.

Jade looked to Dirk once the blonde girl left. "8 o'clock," she told him seriously and without explanation. He nodded to her, understanding exactly what she meant anyway.

They all split up from there, Dirk going into his new room to start his homework on the desk, and Jake moving to his own, mostly to procrastinate. No one bothered either of them until they were called for dinner.

"So, how was school?" their mother asked casually after they'd started eating.

Jade chimed in with a story of one of the teachers, who apparently split his pants during class. When she was done, her mom turned between Dirk and Jake with a smile on her face. "And you, boys?"

Dirk's jaw tightened and he shrugged. Jake bit his bottom lip for a moment before answering with, "Well...uh...it was fine."

His mother's eyes narrowed at him and she frowned. There wasn't even a chance in a million that she wouldn't catch onto that. "What happened, Jake?" she asked him evenly.

"..." Jake looked down and shovelled a bit of food in his mouth to cover up the silence.

"Honey, please, I know something is wrong. I'd really like it if you felt like you could tell me." Her eyes flicked briefly to Jade and back. "Would you like to talk about it later?"

Jake swallowed and took a breath, but still said nothing. He couldn't find the words to explain. He couldn't say the word, it felt dirty and dispicable on his tongue, even for explanation.

"Dirk?" she turned to him calmly, but somehow fiercely at the same time.

Dirk didn't look back at her as he spoke. "Someone left a note in Jake's locker."

"An unpleasant one, I assume?"

Jake now managed a nod while Dirk answered, "Yes."

She looked between them both and sighed, closing her eyes briefly with it, then reopening them to speak. "I'm not going to tell you that words mean nothing, because I know they can be the most hurtful of all. But what I can say is that a coward that would give you such hate in without showing their face is nothing but the lowest trash of the world."

Jake gave a slight smile, remembering Dirk's display of ripping and throwing out the message earlier. In his mind, he imagined both Dirk and his mother taking the faceless person and throwing them in the bin as well and almost laughed.

"Now let's finish our supper before it gets cold, hmm?" his mother concluded and lead by example, digging back into her own food and the others followed suit.

When they had finished, Dirk took up a turn to wash the dishes since he was no longer a guest in the house. When he was almost done, Jake's mother showed up in the kitchen and sat down quietly on one of the chairs. Dirk turned his head a bit, but didn't look directly at her.

She rested the side of her head on one hand. "I know you're more aware than Jake, but that can also give you more troubles," her voice came softly. "You know you can talk to me too, right? I've gathered that's a thing you don't do much, but I worry about how much you have bottled up in there."

Dirk slowed his actions and just listened to her words, not responding verbally. This wasn't the first time she had offered such a thing to him. She had welcomed him into her family long before she took him into her house. She was everything in a parent that he never had, but he could never bring himself to take her up on her offers before.

He took a deep breath in. "I don't know what to do," he let out with the air in his lungs and finally looked over to her. She straighted her head and put her hands in her lap, not saying anything yet, just listening and letting him talk.

"None of this should matter, but it does. And even lack of action has consequences," he continued after a beat of silence. "People hear things and make assumptions and twist things terribly when they have no truth to banish the rumor. I feel like I should do something, but what? It's not like I can hijack the PA system and go, 'Attention: Dirk Strider is a homosexual and Jake English is his boyfriend, thank you.' And even then..." He looked away a moment and then back, thinking about the locker note. "Even then, there are obviously some people that would be even more unpleasant if the truth were known." He sighed.

She got up and came over to him, placing her hands on his upper arms, near his shoulders. "Dirk," she addressed him, looking up at his face. "If it didn't matter - if you didn't have to worry about rumors or cruelty - would you want people to know about you and Jake?"

He thought for a moment. It was a good question. All of his thoughts on that matter thus far were rolled up with the consequences. It didn't take him long, though, as looking back on his own feelings made it plainly obvious. He had never wanted a private relationship, it had been out of necessity. How many times had he secretly wished he could make it clear that Jake was unavailable or that he didn't have to hold so much back?

"I would," he answered her. "I mean, not like I'd really want to do a huge announcement, but, yeah."

She gave him a smile. "Then here's my advice. Tell whoever you would tell if it didn't matter, as if the reaction would be no different that if it were one of the girls. Anyone who is negative toward you is not your friend. Like you said, you have consequences either way, so it's no use debating them and hiding when you truly don't want to."

Dirk nodded. "Thanks." His eyes trailed to the clock - it was almost eight. "I should finish up, though, I have something to do."

She gave him a quick hug and then let go of him, leaving him to finish up and then quickly move upstairs to his computer to log onto pesterchum.

He clicked on the name right as his computer clock awknowledged a change of hour.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:00

TT: Hey, bro.  
TG: hey  
TG: so  
TG: there seems to be all kind of bags of shit in your room  
TG: and not to assume it isnt some awesome ironic gesture like  
TG: man all these bags are packed  
TG: is someone going somewhere?  
TG: which is all ends of humorous im sure  
TG: i thought maybe youd actually want some of it  
TT: Is it even possible for that to not be a lost cause, though?  
TT: I'd think you'd be forbidden from entering the "queer house" now.  
TG: hey if no one tells me not to it aint a rule  
TG: dad is gone for some business shit this weekend  
TG: i think i can get mom to help me out with that much at least  
TT: Thanks.  
TG: bro?  
TT: Yeah?  
TG: i miss you

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

Dave's handle went offline immediately afterward and Dirk closed out of the window. He wondered at how much went unsaid. Considering how his father was just after the incident when Dave had been grounded, he could barely imagine what living in that house must be like now. He both missed and worried for his little bro. He would have taken him here too if it were a possibility.

He looked over at the photo Jake had given him when they were unpacking his things and wondered if things could ever be like that again.

Hopefully the weekend could be something to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I'm going to have to apologize. This chapter took me twice as long to write, and it really shouldn't have. I sort of hit a writing wall yesterday and I've gotten to this point where I know a bunch of points of stuff that needs to happen in future chapters, but I'm not anywhere near as pre-planned for what actually comes next as I used to be with previous chapters.
> 
> I think I really need to take some time to think this through like I had the others, because I feel from what I wrote here that it is hurting my quality/word flow, and I don't want things from here on out to become inferior.
> 
> So I feel I need to take a break from writing this one for awhile so I really know what I'm doing again. So I'll probably write a piece from my other au (thing I mentioned I might do in between chapters anyway, since I don't want to abandon it, either) that has been planned out and waiting to be written for months when I got distracted by my previous pieces as well as this, and I also might write a prequel to this --> story of how they actually got together, because that's been in my head as well. And in the meantime, I'll try to figure this out more specific plot here so I can write like I was.
> 
> Thank you all again, and hope you all stick with me into the next chapter, despite the wait.


	11. Know Your Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time, thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> I know it's April Fools, but seriously, this isn't a joke, I just happened to be able to write today.

Dirk took a deep breath as he entered the school building. Last night and this morning had been what he supposed was now the new norm - Jake and himself had slept in their separate rooms, he took a shower while Jake attempted to hastily finish homework he should have done the night before, then Jake jumped in and they both ate breakfast with Jake's mom and half-sister.

He himself had spent a good deal of the morning thinking about what Jake's mom had said the other night. Under her advice there wasn't honestly all that many people to tell. Dirk didn't keep a lot of close friends outside of the small circle who already knew. But that did make him think on something else regarding that. That although she did technically know already, there was one person in that circle that Dirk thought....

Well, he thought he owed her more than that.

And so, when he parted with Jake inside the building it was her locker he headed toward instead of his own.

Her locker was open when he spoted her, her back to him. He approached close enough to say her name without causing undue attention. "Jane."

She jumped just a bit, not expecting to hear his voice just then, nor anyone's for that matter. Not even Roxy had a tendency to bother her at her locker at this time, although she usually found plenty of time later in the day.

She turned to face him, one hand to her chest for a moment before dropping it. "Hello, Dirk," she managed, accompanied by a slightly strained smile.

Dirk opened his mouth to speak and then immediately shut it again. His gut feeling had been to avoid this conversation, and he didn't really know how to start it. It would be so much easier to pretend that this wasn't an issue, added to the fact that being open and honest wasn't exactly his forte, but he needed to try.

...Or maybe not. Maybe he could get away with some small talk and avoid the issue some more. Continue on in their friendship without picking at a wound.

"You have the face of someone that really does not want to talk about something," Jane commented before he could decide on bailing or not. Of course, if anyone could pick up on subtle cues, it was Jane.

"And what does that face look like?" Dirk asked as a stall.

"Slightly constipated," Jane answered, her smile becoming somewhat more genuine in an amused sort of way.

"And how do you know that's not the case instead?"

"I don't know! But what I can tell you, is that if what you've come to tell me has anything to do with bowel movements, I'm afraid I do not want to know in the slightest!"

Dirk sighed. He could only stall for so long. "It's not."

He smile dropped and her eyes turned away from him somewhat. "...Then it's about Jake, isn't it?"

Dirk really had to hand it to her, Jane could be counted on for figuring out what was up, given enough information. He had assumed she'd know anyway, but found himself somewhat relieved that she'd brought it up, it made it so much easier for him.

"Yeah," he acknowledged. "Listen, Jane, I know you know already, about us, but I thought I sort of owed it to you to-"

"Stop." Her voice was simple, quiet, but also clear and a bit authoritative. "Stop," she repeated, slightly more emotion leaking into her voice.

Dirk fell silent, afraid of what the command might imply. Afraid that he'd have to choose between dating Jake and being friends with Jane, and he was not prepared at all for that decision. Not that he thought she'd lay down that sort of ultimatum - Jane wasn't the type to do something so shitty and confrontational about it - but that their friendship might never be the same none the less. That tenseness in her speech, like a wall between them.

She studied him and took a breath, building up her composure. "It's okay," she told him, and he looked at her more closely and blinked, trying to analyze her meaning down to as many details as he could gleam.

She continued, "If I'm completely honest here, I must admit that I have felt somewhat bitter about this - bitter towards you - but I am not proud of that in the slightest. It's really shameful." She hung her head for a bit, then looked up again, managing to look directly at him for the first time since she'd said Jake's name. "You're one of my best friends, and I shan't let myself lose you over a boy. Even if that boy happens to be another of our best friends. No...especially since he is."

She attempted a smile at him, and he cracked a half of one back. "Even if said boy has the best ass in a 100 mile radius?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Even if said derriere is the finest in the known universe!" She raised her chin up like a challenge. "Hoo Hoo."

Dirk suddenly took her hand in his and pulled it toward his face, as if to kiss it, making Jane's eyes go a bit wide in surprise, but then he surprised her further by lifting it above her head and giving her a twirl.

"Oh!" she exclaimed in surprise, a bit lof laughter escaping and her free hand flying to her mouth.

"Why, Mr. Strider," she said when she was facing him again, amusement apparent in her voice. "Despite the fact that I've heard it on some authority that you are exclusively interested in the fellas, you certainly seem to know how to charm a lady. I may be beginning to see what said informatant sees in you, just for your information." Her little "hoo" laugh was added quietly after her words.

"Well, I-" Dirk started, but the bell cut him off abruptly and Jane pulled her hand out away from his.

"See you at lunch?" she smiled at him as she asked the question.

"Of course," he answered, and she took off down the hallway, Dirk parting toward his own locker now to quickly retrieve his things, hoping he'd still make it on time.

Jake spotted him as he and Jane were parting ways and followed him for a bit. "What were you and Jane talking about?" he asked casually.

Dirk dialed his locker open before answering. "You," he said simply.

Jake blinked at the answer, somewhat bewildered. "What about me?" his bafflement was plain in his voice.

Dirk shrugged as he shut the locker again. "Stuff," he replied. "Your butt."

"W-w-what?" Jake's cheeks let out a tinge of several shades of pink and his voice rose a bit. "You're pulling my leg!"

"Nope," Dirk asserted. He turned away from Jake, toward his homeroom, with only the slightest hint of a smirk on one side of his mouth. "Go to class, Jake," he said and gave his boyfriend a backhand wave.

The rest of the day was tolerable if not pleasant. Between his chats with Jake's mom the other night and Jane this morning, Dirk was feeling far less self-conscious about this whole thing, which in turn made him feel less tense. There was also not a single incident like the other day. The school's tolerance would not be further tested for a few days.

It was Friday. Dave was expected tomorrow.

That is, if their mother decided to put their plight in her good graces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Jane are basically my brotp. When I finally conceived of this chapter, I was so excited to write it! I hope you all enjoyed and thank you for reading.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. (As well as kudos and such of course, but a lot of you already left those and you rock!)
> 
> Until next time! I also have some other stuff I'll be writing in between chapters again. Sorry to always make you wait now, but my head has too many ideas and too little time.


	12. Family Values

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! For those that haven't seen yet, before writing this chapter, I wrote a prequel to this story about how Dirk and Jake got together in this universe, which you can find [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/762835), if you haven't already.

Saturday came, and Dirk, Jake and Jade passed the morning playing Halo. Their mother hovered in the back, watching and sometimes leaning over the back of the couch, like maybe she wanted to play, too. Dirk had a couple of passing thoughts of offering her a turn, but wasn't sure if that would be weird. He already had enough distracting thoughts and nerves about the day that he was getting shot a bit more than he should be, so he didn't think on that much further.

The doorbell rang not quite an hour later. Dirk checked his phone and swore as he saw there was a message from Dave that he'd missed.

The game was paused and the entire group moved to the front door. Their mother answered it, having gotten a head start on them from the living room.

Dave was standing at the stoop with the rest of the bags that Dirk had packed the night before he left the house. He looked slightly worn out, but it was hard to tell how much was from hauling the bags around and how much was from other circumstances. The Strider family car pulled out from the driveway at that moment, but instead of making the way down the street, it was parked once again at the curb.

No one commented on this as they all shuffled the bags and Dave inside.

Jade disappeared for a moment and Dave's eyes trailed after her in bewilderment for a few moments before turning to his brother. "Hey, bro," was his genius greeting.

"Hey," Dirk greeted back, still holding one of the bags and wondering if he should take them straight up to the room now or what. He kind of wanted to give his little brother a hug, but wasn't sure if he'd appreciate that happening in front of anyone.

Jade came back with one of the toy guns and shot it at Dave before seizing the opportunity to hug him herself. Dave made a face. "What the hell, Jade? You are so weird," he half-complained, but he didn't really have any fight in his voice. "I'd say you're the weirdest girl I know, but I don't really know if that prize goes to you or Rose."

She said nothing to this, only a "hey, cool kid," and then refused to let go of him.

Dave just accepted it and decided to continue talking to everyone else from just over her shoulder.

"So Dad is continuing to basically be a five-year-old about this, just so you know," he informed, looking at Dirk the best he could. "Still pretending that you don't exist like a stubborn, immature asshole. And then being extra weird and nice to me. Not sure if trying to make up for years of not being the favorite or trying to beg me to be straight. As if I have some sort of control over Schrödinger's sexuality."

Dirk raised an eyebrow at this. "Does that imply that you like both sexes until you open the box? Because to my knowledge, that's not really how bisexuality works." He already knew that's not what his brother had meant, but there was a sort of happy nostalgia in pretending he didn't.

Dave quirked his mouth to the side in slight annoyance for an almost imperceptable moment. "It's just a shitty metaphor about not knowing until you open it, I'm not here for a philosophical discussion, I get enough of that crap from Rose. You know I actually mentioned Schrödinger's cat to her once because she likes cats and I thought it'd bother her, but no, she just goes on about it and then somehow turns it around on me and my 'morbid obsession with dead things' and you know what fuck this, this isn't the point. The point is, that I'm an eleven-year-old, not a ticking time bomb, Jesus fucking Christ."

There was a bit of swallowed or held back laughter at Dave's little ramble. Especially at his last comment, as discussion of sexuality or no, puberty being compared to a bomb was perhaps not as entirely off the mark as Dave seemed to assume. Dirk pressed his lips together. Jake bit his lip. Jake's mom put her hand to her mouth, but then let out a small laugh anyway, turning to her daughter.

"Jade, honey," she said, obviously amused, "why don't you let Dave breathe?"

"He can breathe," Jade stated matter-of-factly, but slid over to just hold onto his arm regardless.

Dave finally looked over to her. "Now I think I know how a ship must feel, because I've got a barnacle."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

Dirk took that conversation's end as a cue to go upstairs finally and started heading toward his room. Jake quickly followed after him, quickening his steps to try to catch up with Dirk's head start. He tripped on the top step, knocking himself into Dirk's back and causing them both to topple over with the weight of the bags.

Dirk groaned. It wouldn't be quite so bad if it wasn't for the fact that the bag Jake was carrying half landed on him as well as Jake himself. A string of "sorry"s came from Jake's mouth as he lifted himself back up off his boyfriend, pushed his glasses back up his nose and then dragged the bag off as well. Dirk pulled himself to his knees and then his feet a moment later.

"I'm sorry," Jake apologized again.

The other three had also come up to check if they were alright, Jade having finally detached herself from Dave entirely.

"We're fine," Dirk assured, fixing the angle of his shades and re-shouldering the bag.

"Just me being a mite bit clumsy is all," Jake grimaced as he spoke. "No injuries. I think." He looked back over to Dirk.

"None," Dirk agreed.

Jake's mother gave them both a once-over before nodding. "Alright." She turned to the other two kids. "Now, why don't you all help Dirk unpack? I'm just going to go attend to something."

The younger kids agreed, Dave having originally planned to do so anyway, and the woman headed back downstairs and then out the door.

The kids all exchanged glances, pretty much thinking the same thing, before continuing to head toward the room at the end of the hall.

*

She headed toward the car and politely rapped on the window, slightly startling the woman inside, who was reading.

The window rolled down after a moment. "Jess," Mrs. Strider awknowledged a bit tensely.

"Oh, Diane," came the reply, "and here I thought you might call me by my last name, what with how much you are distancing yourself right now."

Diane Strider marked her place in her book and closed it with a slight thump. "And which one is that now?" she remarked slightly bitingly.

"Maybe I should just change my name to 'Gunlady', then everyone will get it right," Jess replied.

The women exchanged smirks before dropping back into seriousness again.

"You won't come inside?"

Diane sighed heavily. Jess caught a look in her eye like she might start to cry before she turned away so she couldn't see. The words "I can't," came, just barely audible.

There was silence for a moment. "He's your son," Jess almost seeemed plead.

Diane turned back to her, wiping her eyes furiously, as a tear seen dropping on her skin could burn her. "He is. And he will never stop being my son, even if I...don't approve."

"You're alright with him staying here?"

"It's better than the alternative." It was unclear if she meant the street or the Strider household, but both were true.

Jess nodded in agreeance with this, but then sighed afterward. "If you still love him so much, why won't you talk to him?"

Diane turned back away and was silent for some moments before releasing another shaky, "I can't."

Jess crossed her arms and persed her mouth to the side in annoyance. "You know, I used to think that your family only taught the boys that they shouldn't be seen crying, but now I see you are at least equal opportunity in your stupidity."

Diane rolled the window back up without comment. Jess made a "hmph" noise and made her way back inside to start lunch and check on the kids. She would not feel bad about inviting Dave to stay as long as he pleased. That woman was impossible.

*

The unpacking was stopped for lunch. Jade and Jake left the room first, leaving the Strider brothers alone for a bit.

"Hey, bro," Dirk called out before Dave left the doorway and finally gave into the urge to hug him.

"Bro, wha-" Dave stopped himself from complaining and gave a hug back, although he looked away, as if he were embarrassed being watched by nobody.

"I missed you, too," Dirk finally responded to Dave's ending chat sentence from earlier in the week. He let go of his brother after that, looked at him a moment and then headed downstairs to follow the other two. Dave padded after him.

Lunch was a friendly afair, filled with chatter from all sides, and afterwards Dave was invited a turn to play Halo with them. He left another hour later, at which point Dirk and Jake retreated back to Dirk's bedroom again.

"Let's see..." Jake said as he assessed the bags still on the floor. "Are we quite done with these yet?"

"Just about," Dirk replied and started to retrieve the last few things from them. Jake stretched himself out and then perched himself on the bed for a moment. He got up again not 5 seconds later and paced about a bit.

Dirk laughed at him. "I'd say I could finish later, but I've pretty much got this shit done." He shoved the bag aside.

"Oh? What?" Jake chittered like a nervous bird. "You don't have to do anything on account of me. Unless you are truly finished, in which case, I guess that's okay. Or it is."

Dirk stood himself back up to his full height and came over to grab Jake's shoulders, stilling him, and then kiss him between his eyebrows. Jake knitted them as he did so.

Dirk took a step back again, releasing Jake's shoulders from his grip. "What?"

"Nothing," Jake dismissed and Dirk let it drop.

Jake sat back down and up again. "Quite an exciting day we've had," he commented.

"So exciting that apparently you can't even stay still," Dirk shot back, amused.

"And it's not even over yet," Jake continued. "It's still only the afternoon."

"What could we possibly do to make this day more exciting?"

"We could have sex."

DIrk would have choked had he had anything to choke on. As it was, he very nearly choked on his own spit.

"It was a joke!" Jake clarified with one hand out, the fingers splayed, like a half-attempt at the signal for stop. "We can't even close the friggin door, of course we can't have sex."

"I knew that," Dirk said honestly enough, although he'd been incredibly startled regardless and attempted to control the blush rising to his face. "Just...don't do that."

"Well, I do believe the unflappable Dirk Strider has indeed been flapped!" Jake announced and looked more closely at Dirk as he turned a bit away. "Are you blushing?"

Dirk inwardly cursed the one time that Jake decided to be observant. He brought a hand to his face, but Jake reached out to grab it away. "Don't. It's cute. It's not often I get to see you like this, and I find a quite enjoy it." Jake beamed and brushed his fingers over Dirk's red-tinged cheek.

Dirk put his hand over Jake's on his face and lightly pulled it away again.

They just looked at each other a moment before pressing their lips together gently, then not so gently, but Dirk pulled away from that after only 2 seconds.

Jake looked at him with a mix of disappointment and concern. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Dirk told him, in reverse of earlier.

But Jake wouldn't let him go as easily. "No, tell me," he insisted.

Dirk sighed quietly, but still wouldn't speak, deciding to kiss him again as a means of silence instead, pulling him down to the bed with him.

The fleeting concern left Jake's mind easily enough with the pressure on his mouth and the pull to meet the other's warmth. Soon enough, he forgot there was even something he'd been worried about.

After breaking away from his lips, Jake kissed his way down Dirk's neck, to his collar, and then finally rested his head on his chest while Dirk idly played with his hair.

"Jake?" Dirk ventured again.

"Yeah?" Jake responded, rising his head up a bit.

Dirk was silent still for a moment again and Jake waited, watching him as he dithered over saying something or not.

Dirk couldn't find the words for what was on his mind, but feeling he still had to say something, came out with, "Would you mind if I called you babe?"

Jake laughed and sat up more, making Dirk's hand fall from his head. "Why of course not, love, prince of my heart."

"Okay, now you're just being cheesy."

"Nope," Jake insisted, although he laughed again and laid back down, this time close beside Dirk, and wiggling himself up so their heads were more even. He meant to kiss again, but there was a knock at the open door and he turned his head to see his mother standing there, holding the car keys.

When it was clear she'd gotten their attention, she spoke, "Thought you boys might like to go out to see a movie or something now that you can?" She jingled the keys at them.

Dirk looked at the keys and then Jake. He remembered his earlier reservations about going out in public with Jake. But now that the cat was out of the proverbial bag, it meant they could actually...date.

Dirk found himself saying, "Sure," before he even realized it. Jake looked back at him as it was spoken and then turned again to his mother.

"That sounds like fun, thank you!" Jake agreed and the keys were promptly tossed at him to catch, which he just managed without dropping them.

He turned back again to Dirk as she left the doorway and sat himself up fully, smiling brightly. "We get to go on a date!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was going for so long, so I had to end it. Will pick up on that last thought for next chapter. Look forward to it!
> 
> All your comments and kudos and such are much appreciated! I love you guys reading this, I really do.


	13. Outing

Both boys headed downstairs, Jake thunderously with the key in his hands, and Dirk followed behind a decent bit quieter. Before they reached the door, however, they were stopped by Jake's mom calling out, "Jake, you have mail!"

Jake instantly turned and almost ran toward her, collecting the single envelope she held out. Dirk followed, a bit curious regarding the excitement level.

"Thailand this time," she was saying, as Jake opened the letter up and started devouring it with his eyes.

Dirk looked between Jake and his mother. "Who's that from?" he asked curiously, remembering it being said that Jake's father was out of the picture in a he-might-be-dead-we-don't-even-know way.

Jake's mom gave him an understanding smile. "Jade's father. He and Jake were pretty close." She sighed almost wistfully. "Dr. Harley."

"Doctor?"

"Anthropologist," she clarified. "Interesting man. He proposed to me with a book on the history of the development of weapons amongst ancient civilization." She smirked, recalling with amusement. "I told him I had one on rifles at him that was both better and thicker, and that he'd have to try a bit harder than that."

Dirk easily detected a double entendre there, but considering this was Jake's mom, really wished he hadn't. Years of practice with neutral expressions kept him from cringing.

She continued, "I just watched his distressed face for a few moments before saying yes." She laughed lightly at the recollection of her own teasing before adding one more thought. "He had a...quirky way of speaking." Her eyes quickly moved sideways to indicate Jake before moving back to Dirk.

Dirk's gaze followed hers for the moment it happened, and then he gave her a look and a raised eyebrow, in his best communication of 'That's where he gets it from?'.

She laughed again and nodded.

Jake was far too absorbed in his letter to notice any of this, occasionally mouthing words with a big grin on his face the entire time. He hurried back up to his room to file it away with the others when he finished, then thumped back down again, grabbing Dirk's hand and heading out the door with him.

"Have fun boys!" his mother called out to them.

There were two cars in the drive. One was a smallish sedan that Jake's mom drove to work. The other was the sort of obnoxious larger vehicle that nearly impossible for the drivers of smaller vehicles to see past in parking lots. It was this second one that Jake headed toward and unlocked the driver's side of, climbing inside. Dirk quickly followed on the other side.

"Mom doesn't trust me with the other one," Jake offered without being asked, making Dirk muse that at least in this behemoth, they were more like to crush than be crushed.

After they were buckled, Jake did seem to do all the proper checking of mirrors and such before pulling out, so...so far so good.

"To the cinema!" Jake declared as he drove onto the street.

He did drive a bit fast, but only at about the same rate as practically every driver drove above the speed limit. If it made Dirk weary, it was only because of what Jake had said earlier. He was trying to tell himself to relax and that it was probably only his mother being over-protective, when he noticed Jake miss a turn signal.

His brow furrowed. "Shouldn't you have used your blinker there?"

"No one was around," Jake said dismissively and turned a bit toward him, causing Dirk to immediately jab out his arm toward the windshield in front of them.

"Eyes on the road!"

Jake huffed as he did so. "Egads, Dirk, if you are going to be a backseat driver, you could at least get your license yourself so I don't have to friggin put up with it." He frowned.

Dirk sighed. That wasn't very likely now, was it? Jake's mother was nice enough to feed and house him, there was no way he was asking her to pay for lessons. And while there was a way to get around that, it was a certificate signed by a...parent.

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, causing his shades to ride upward a bit. "I'll shut up," he said.

Jake sighed in return and spent the rest of the short drive easing his mild irritation. He seemed excited enough when the exited the car once more, and looked up at the billboard announcing the list of movies.

"Which film should we see?" Jake asked, studying it.

Dirk looked up at it as well. He thought he should probably be the one to pick. Jake's exclusive tastes consisting of pretty much every movie ever meant he wouldn't be at all discerning, and his pick would be a crapshoot. Not that Dirk really knew he'd be able to pick a good one himself before seeing it, since reviewers were notoriously unreliable in his personal opinion.

In the end, he settled on an action comedy, which Jake readily agreed to.

They headed inside to get their tickets (Jake intially asked for two tickets before Dirk cut in to say they'd be paying separately), then headed to concessions. Jake loaded up on snacks and popcorn, while Dirk only got himself a soda.

"Nothing to eat?" Jake questioned him.

Dirk shook his head and held up his soda. "I'm fine with this."

They found seats with 20 minutes left still until the picture was scheduled to begin, and Dirk slumped a bit. He thought that perhaps this wasn't all that much of a date. What was even special about seeing a movie with Jake like this? They'd just be better off comfortable on the couch at home, where it could actually feel a bit intimate, and not this suffocating public space with Jake having a million snacks in and around his lap and-

Dirk was startled out of this thought by Jake's arm finding its way around his shoulders. He tensed a bit, and Jake started to retract it, but then Dirk grabbed it with his hand, pulling it back in place. Jake smiled at him. Dirk leaned a bit into him, the arm of the seat hitting him rather uncomfortably, but he couldn't bring himself to care at current.

Jake offered him some popcorn, but he declined.

The movie was good, but not entirely spectacular. Jake acted like it was, regardless. "Comedy gold!" he praised. "Epic cinematic action!"

"And that's a quarter to the 'Epic' jar for you," Dirk commented.

"What?"

"The overuse of the word 'epic' is a fucking tragedy, babe, pay your dues."

"Oh for frig's sake, Dirk! Don't be such a fucking killjoy. It was great!"

"Sure," Dirk agreed. "But not 'epic'."

Jake stuck his tongue out at him. "What shall we do now?" he asked.

Dirk turned his phone back on and checked the time. It was just about evening now. "We could go out to eat?" he suggested.

Jake thought for a moment. "I'm not that hungry," he commented.

"I wonder why," Dirk shot back dryly, thinking about all of Jake's consumed concession snacks.

"But we could still go if you are," Jake continued on. "How about the diner? Suitable for an outing?"

Dirk thought that 'outing' was an interesting choice of word, but left it be, pretty certain it was unintentional. He nodded. "Sounds good."

Jake smiled again and unlocked the car, climbing back inside.

The ride to the place in question was shorter than the one to the movies had been. It was still early enough that they didn't have to wait to find a table.

Jake smiled charmingly at their waitress, causing a pang in Dirk's heart. He possessively reached across the table to grab Jake's hand, causing Jake's smile to turn to him after just a moment of surprise, and making Dirk feel foolish.

Jake, despite his claims of not feeling hungry, ordered a full meal, as well as snagging a mozzerella stick from Dirk's plate of appetizers before their meals came.

Dirk felt something against his shoe and had a bewildered moment before he realized that Jake was attempting to play footsie with him. His eyes shot to Jake, who smiled at him mischievously. Dirk attempted to respond back, but their clunky shoes made it difficult. It was silly and clumsy and not really all that much of anything, but it was less the thing itself and more what it represented, and the very ability to do such a thing.

"I never thought I'd get to be with you like this," Dirk told him after swallowing his current bite.

Jake looked steadily at him. "Well, we did agree to keep everything all locked up back when, due to your particular issues and all, so that's rather understandable."

"Yeah," Dirk nodded as he spoke. Then he caught the trace of a thought from earlier and hoped he didn't blush visibly. "There's lots of stuff I never thought I'd be able to do from earlier, though." His voice was faint and slightly off-hand in manner, as if he weren't quite aware that he was speaking. "I've been in love with you for a long time."

Jake's eyes widened as he just barely caught that. "In love with?" he questioned.

Dirk immediately froze and cursed inwardly. How could he let that sort of thing slip that way? "I...I mean that I liked you, of course," he attempted to salvage.

"That's not what you said," Jake pressed with his brows furrowed. His fork was buried in a piece of food on his plate, but he made no attempt to pick it up.

Dirk, on the other hand, shovelled as much food in his mouth as he could to use as an excuse not to speak while he tried to think his way out of this.

It was just a little slip, he could explain his way out of this. And Jake could forget it like he forgot all the other little things when he found something new and exciting to latch onto.

Dirk was almost done when Jake decided to speak again:

"I love you."

-Almost causing Dirk to choke, and definitely stopping his entire thought process in his tracks.

"What?"

"Is it really that surprising?" Jake's words came out perhaps a little hurt.

"No, I mean, it's just-" _Wow, Dirk, A+ reponse right there._ "I love you, too," Dirk responded before he dug his hole deeper. "It's just...you've never said that before."

"Well, not to rain on your surprise parade here, Dirk, but today is the first I've heard it as well."

"Oh." Right, that was true. But this entire time, Dirk had been thinking he had a good reason for holding it back. He was afraid of saying it too soon, of scaring Jake away, making him feel pushed. He didn't want to show too much and lose everything he had with him. But he coudn't exactly tell this to Jake.

Jake looked smug at the response. "So we are even. So how long has it been, anyways?"

"Hmm?"

Jake's cheeks tinted slightly pinkish. "You said you'd been in love with me a long time?"

Dirk reddened again at the term 'in love'. "It was exactly that. I mean, I wasn't fucking 'in love' with you when I was-"

"When you were...?" Jake prompted.

"Twelve," Dirk finished. "It was just a little crush then, is all."

Jake just stared at him a few moments. "Wow, Dirk."

"Nothing to 'wow' about, really."

"...That was the year we met."

"We met when we were eleven," Dirk pointed out, embarrassed enough without the insinuation.

"Only barely."

"Still, it's not like I just immediately fell for you, okay?"

"Okay...just...I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anythi-"

Dirk cut himself off as he noticed someone approach him. An adult woman, not particularly old, but not young, either.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she said, with a strained smile and a tone that seemed like she in fact was not sorry at all, but that the guise of outward politeness forced her to say that, "but I couldn't help notice you boys. You know...it's not to late to hear the words of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and welcome him into your hearts."

Jake looked completely baffled. Dirk snorted derisively. "Maybe you should just go do that," he commented evenly, not looking at her face.  
"Oh, but I do!" she said with enthusiasm.

"Really?" Dirk's tone was even and polite, with with a trace of a held back threat. "But didn't Jesus teach to not judge others? Didn't he die for humanity's sins, thus freeing people from the old rules? By clinging to them are you not basically saying he died in vain?"

The woman turned red in the face and stormed away without answering, her hands clutching her bag quite a bit harder than was necessary.

Jake looked at Dirk with surprise and just a bit of awe. "I didn't know you were religious," he said, blinking.

"I'm not," Dirk answered him, picking up his fork again and skewering some food with it. "I just know some things."

Being in the family he was, Dirk had certainly not immediately accepted his boy crush for what it was. He spent more time than perhaps he'd admit to now being uncertain and in denial and then when it could barely much be denied, looking into the subject as much as he could, needing some sort of reassurance. That little rebuttal was one of the things he'd picked up from the internet.

"Well, good, because we sleep in on Sundays," Jake said and laughed a tad nervously. "Although, one could perhaps say we are just taking the whole 'day of rest' thing very seriously."

Dirk let out a short chuckle and then put his collection of food into his mouth. Jake took that as a cue to continue eating as well, their previous subject feeling a bit killed at the moment.

Dirk still felt tense from the encounter, even though it'd been over so quickly. It made him suspicious of everyone around him. One person had spoken to them, but how many shared her opinion? Silently judging them, but not speaking out of a polite habit of leaving people be.

He felt Jake's thumb brush against his knuckles and he relaxed slightly. It felt reassuring. What did the opinion of anyone else in this world even mean when he had Jake?

They finished in a more quiet mood than they had started. They split the bill and headed home once more.

Home...Dirk was beginning to think of it like that, even though it hadn't even been a week. Perhaps the seed of that feeling had been planted long ago. For what was home but the place where you found your loved ones, and those that loved you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter was my longest yet for sure! But I just couldn't bring myself to end it prematurely. There really wasn't a place for that here.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Also, I'm really close to 100 kudos and am totally blown away and want to kiss all of your sweet faces. Thank you!


	14. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, again I am so blown away by the response to this. You are all so amazing, I love you.
> 
> At the end of the last chapter I mentioned I was excited to be at nearly 100 kudos, and as of right now, I have a whopping 123! Where did you all come from?

Sunday afternoon fit to its name quite perfectly. The sun shone brightly in the sky, casting a warm light through the trees in the yard and making it almost hot, if it weren't for a blessedly cool breeze coming through the area and cooling their skin. The noise the branches made combined with the dappled sunlight was almost idyllic enough to seem surreal.

Dirk and Jake sat in the shade of the backyard, their backs to each other, supporting themselves in a way they had deemed more comfortable than using the tree. They were both reading, Dirk a somewhat hefty historical fiction novel, and Jake a small pile of comic books.

As he reached the end of the first one he had brought, Jake tilted his head upward and knocked it lightly against the back of his partner's.

"Hey, Dirk?" he prompted, causing the other to look away from his reading material and turn his head a little, so that the back of Jake's head nearly touched his ear.

"What's up?" Dirk asked, putting his index finger in his page, but not closing the book around it quite yet.

"I was thinking..." Jake started.

Dirk gave a short almost-laugh and said, "Is that so?" with more than a faint trace of amusement.

"Yes," Jake continued, the light ribbing flying over his head. "I was thinking...even though I was speaking in jest the other day..."

Dirk stayed silent, waiting for Jake to continue. The first thing he thought of immediately that Jake had joked about the other day made him bite his lip slighty. He closed the novel lightly around his finger.

"Well..." Jake was having some difficulty getting this out. He swallowed. "You know, summer is coming soon..."

Dirk couldn't quite see the relation and wondered if Jake's mind was wandering and jumping topics. Or if he had chickened out of the first one. He wanted to urge Jake to get to the point, but felt rushing him might make him lose the nerve to speak at all.

"And...we'll be home during the day when my mom is at work..."

Oh.

"And, you know, some days Jade goes over to visit her chums as well, and doesn't return home until late, you know, like me and you used to..."

_Oh._

"So we could...have the house to ourselves sometimes."

There was literally only one thing that Jake had said as a joke that would fit into this scenario, and the thought was threatening to turn Dirk's cheeks pink again.

Dirk felt Jake's head turn a bit against his, the back tip of Jake's ear touching his own.

"So we could, in point of fact, actually have something of a rather good opportunity...to...you know...have...sex." Jake seemed much more reluctant and embarrassed to say the word now that he wasn't joking about it.

Dirk's book slipped out of his hand and cursed for a moment at his lost page, trying to pick the book back up before the little bend caused by his finger flattened out to lose it completely. He leaned forward, breaking the contact with Jake's head and half of his back, and stuck a bookmark in what he hoped was his place. Then he took a breath and turned his body somewhat, trying to see Jake a bit better and gauge his sincerity.

"You want to have sex with me?" he asked, the blush making due on its threats and raiding his cheeks full force.

Jake pulled his body around to face him more as well, touching a thigh to him and making him shiver despite the heat. "Of course I do," Jake responded, "you're my boyfriend and I love you."

Dirk still wasn't used to such open verbal expressions of love, so it took him a moment to respond. "There's no 'of course' about it, Jake," he said, with a slight indignance. "It's perfectly fucking possible to love someone and be committed to them and still not want to do that. You aren't obliged to offer your body for love."

"Okay, Dirk." Jake rolled his eyes. "But the answer is still yes, so I don't see why you felt the need to ruin the romance of the situation with your dastardly logic."

Dirk almost laughed at that. Both at the fact that Jake thought he was being romantic with that, and also at his way of putting it, but kept it in with the heavy realization of what Jake's answer actually meant. "...Okay," he said quietly.

The was a beat of silence before Jake moved around to face him completely now and grabbed with his shoulders with his hands. "That's it? Just like that? 'Okay' is the response to my sexual overtures toward your person?"

The phrasing would have been awkward were it not also amusing. "Yeah," Dirk replied, cracking a smile, "okay." The smile dropped when another thought entered his brain. "Although, I suspect the door rule is kept in place to prevent us from doing just that. Wouldn't this be rather...underhanded?"

Jake sighed. "I love my mom, but she isn't right about everything, you know. I'm not a little kid anymore, that needs to be protected from being touched. I won't friggin break, you know. I can grow up and make my own decisions."

"Hmm." Dirk was thoughtful, and Jake raised an eyebrow at him. "Interesting, because on the other hand, I've sometimes gotten the impression like she is trying to marry us off."

Jake laughed at that and slipped his hands down Dirk's arms, ending by taking his hands in his own and looking at them thoughtfully.

"Well, I sometimes get the impression...and mind you, I may be way off base here, as I frequently find myself to be..." Jake opened with, and Dirk listened closely, thinking to himself that when Jake started a thought with admitting he was frequently wrong tended to be when he was the most insightful and accurate, even if he didn't realize it himself. "But I get the impression that my mother sees my relationship with you here is another way of keeping me. Like she's afraid I'll grow up and leave her, but you are here already, so if I stay with you, she feels like she can keep us here and protect us like children forever. But we're not that innocent, and our relationship won't stay that innocent. And as much as I respect her, I'm not going to stay a little boy for her just because she wills it."

Dirk nodded and pulled his hands away from Jake's to embrace him. They both shook slightly, nervous and excited about the future, a month seeming both suddenly close as well as all too far.

"We can talk about this more later," Dirk said quietly near Jake's ear. Jake nodded and pulled a bit away.

Dirk turned his head for amount, thinking about something else. "Actually, there's something in the much closer future that I've been thinking about..."

Jake perked up. "What's that?"

"Jane's party."

"Which party is that?" Jake asked, seeming genuinely confused.

Dirk's mouth slanted sideways, partly unbelieving and partly all too expecting of Jake's forgetfulness. "The Memorial Day one that her family has every year?"

"Oh!" Jake lit up with a spark or remembrance. "Right! Yes! What about it?"

"Well, generally my family goes, right? I mean, shit, all four of us have gone since we met them, and it's not like Jane's family has anything to do what happened, so what if they still go? That would be...uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn't...go." He frowned. "Maybe I could ask-"

Before he could finish the sentence, Jake had grabbed Dirk's phone, which had been laying within reach next to them. Dirk just gaped at him as he dialed. He had been about to say that maybe he could ask Dave, but who the hell was Jake calling on his phone?

"Hello my dear Jane!" Jake said brightly, and Dirk stared at him in disbelief. "...Oh, right, I am using Dirk's phone. Actually, he had a concern about your upcoming soiree... ...Oh, well, you see-"

"Gimme that!" Dirk scolded him and yanked the phone out of his hand and brought it to his ear. "Sorry about that, Jane," he sighed.

She laughed lightly on the other end. "What is this about now?" she asked.

"Nothing, at the moment. Jake was just acting impulsively because he's a fucking idiot," Dirk explained and Jake frowned at him.

Jane gave a slight snort in agreement with the last remark, but also wouldn't let Dirk off the hook. "At the moment? So there will be a problem in the future, then?"

"Maybe, but we don't need to talk about this now. I'm dealing with some unknowns here. You could say I don't have enough clues for this particular case in order to deliver you a conclusion," he told her, hoping to appeal to her interests.

She was also remarkably good at her interests, however. "Oh, I think I have plenty clues. Might this be about the possibility of your family attending?"

"...Yes," Dirk admitted.

"Hmm. I see." There was a slight, tense silence for just a moment before she continued speaking, "I believe both you and Jake made a promise around a month ago to help set it up. But now you feel that you might'nt be able to attend?"

Dirk swallowed. There was something in her voice. A tone that said, 'Dirk Strider, if you are flaking out on me to avoid some awkwardness, you'll have more than uncomfortable encounters to worry about.' Dirk was suddenly glad he had taken the phone away. There was no way that sort of message would have penetrated Jake's dense skull, and then they'd both be in trouble.

"Not at all, of course we'll be there for you," Dirk replied evenly.

"Thank you!" Jane said, immediately brightening back up. "Now is there anything else? I certainly don't mind chatting with you, but I actually find myself quite busy at the moment."

"No, no," Dirk shook his head even though she wasn't physically there to see, "we're good."

"Wonderful," Jane said smoothly. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, then! Bye!"

"Yeah. Bye," Dirk said back to her and ended the call.

Jake looked at him inquisitively. "So are they not coming, then?"

"Who knows?" Dirk put a hand to his forehead.

Jake looked confused. "But we are definitely going?"

"Yes, yes we are," Dirk asserted. "Believe me, we don't want to avoid the possible bonfire by flying into the sun. I'll deal with it."

"I don't think I quite understand your metaphor there, Dirk, but alright. I'll take your word for it."

Dirk collapsed himself all the way down, so he was sprawled on the grass. Jake crawled over to him, placing a hand at the side of each shoulder and smiling down upon him. The way the sunlight shined on them, it gave Jake the appearance of a halo from Dirk's perspective.

Jake leaned in further, blotting out more of the sun, and the moved a hand to carefully remove Dirk's shades, his own glasses slightly falling down his nose. He moved to fix them at first, taking in Dirk's vivid eyes clearly for a few moments, watching the pupils contract with added light and fill in more color, before removing the frames from his face as well.

He titled his head just enough for their noses not to squish together, and gave Dirk's lips a gentle kiss. Dirk gave no response initially, just letting his lips be kissed as Jake persisted. But he was a man of action, and it wasn't long before he returned the gestures and threaded a hand into Jake's hair.

When they stopped, Jake attempted to pull up a bit, but Dirk held him there with his hand, enjoying the feeling of their lips against each other, their breath intermingling sweetly.

"Um...Dirk?" Jake prodded quietly, his lips brushing against Dirk's as he spoke.

"Mmm?" If it weren't for the slight sound of questioning acknowledgement, Jake might wonder if Dirk had fallen asleep. His eyes were even still closed from the kiss.

"How long do you plan on holding my head here for?"

One corner of Dirk's lips twitched up very slightly at the question. "Forever sounds nice."

"As wonderful as this is, I'm afraid that sounds a tad inconvenient, love."

Dirk found himself startled by the word again, and let go. Jake pressed up into a sitting position, moving his head from one shoulder to the other and rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. Dirk brought himself up to his elbows.

"Say that again," Dirk demanded.

"Huh?" Jake blinked at him in surprise, ceasing his actions.

"Say that again," Dirk repeated, insistent.

"Say what again? That it would be inconvenient?" Jake questioned. "But I already got up."

"No, the last word," Dirk clarified, looking up at him with expressive eyes rarely seen, even when they were unshaded.

Jake thought back. "Love?"

Dirk's whole expression, usually kept hard and in line, softened up at the word. He nodded.

"Love," Jake said again, more confidently. Then he reached out to brush fingers down Dirk's temple and added with a gentle tone, "My love."

Dirk's breath caught in his chest and his heart was doing all kinds of wild beats in his chest. He took some moments to just revel in the term before becoming embarrassed and pushing Jake off of himself, collecting their glasses from the ground and putting his own shades back on his face. He stood up and offered Jake's square frames back to him.

Jake took them slowly, bewildered, and then stood up himself. "What was that about?"

"Sorry," Dirk stated without explanation. Then he added more gently, "Thank you."

Jake opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Dirk turned to head back inside. Jake started following him before remembering all of the books with a start and collected them before running to catch up with his boyfriend's long strides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually thought this chapter came out really nicely and I hope you all enjoyed it as well!
> 
> Also, to let you know, I'm going to be attending Anime Central next weekend, and I don't think I'll have another day off work before I leave, so I probably won't be able to update again until my next day off after that.
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading this fic and liking it and for all the love I've been given here, it's amazing.
> 
> See you next chapter after I get back!


	15. Memorial Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's good to be posting a chapter again, sorry for the wait. I had a great time at the con, but then I had a bit of a writer's block problem for awhile that I've had to work through, so this took me a good deal longer to write than would be normal (although part of how long it took me is also that it is quite long compared to most of my other chapters).
> 
> And I did want to finish for today because it's Memorial Day and it takes place on Memorial Day, and although I haven't done any same day chapters before, I thought it'd be neat since it was possible. I doubt I'm very likely to do this again, though.

School had become more tolerable after the weekend, as if a break was all the teens needed to lose interest in or forget their more ridiculous rumors and move on to the next thing, like who one of the cheerleaders had made out with at a party that Saturday and whether or not it was her boyfriend.

They still got some stares - especially from Jake's former group of admirers, but Dirk recognized some of those as jealousy rather than disdain.

The weekend just made Dirk increasingly tense as it continued. He'd been avoiding asking Dave the question that weighed on his mind since Sunday. He feared that the answer would only make him dread Monday and remove his slim hope that he would not encounter his parents. It was easier to avoid the topic and try not to think about it. Although, at the latter he was unsuccessful.

So it turned out that he still didn't know when he arrived early to Jane's house with Jake, as they'd promised.

Tables and chairs were already set up on the lawn. Roxy's older sister was putting up a string of decorations along a large pagoda umbrella, although how much she was actually getting done was questionable. She was accompanied by both Mr. Egbert and Mr. Crocker, and being in the presence of both her boyfriend and his equally attractive cousin was giving her quite a fit of the vapors.

Their children, minus Jane, were setting plates, cups, napkins and plastic utensils on one of the buffet tables.

The two teenage boys headed toward the younger kids. Jake ruffled John Egbert's hair and smiled brightly. "Hello there, sport!" he greeted jovially. "We're up for one ripsnorter of a day, aren't we now?"

John just looked at him funny. Rose cocked an eyebrow in interest.

Jake's smile dropped into uncertainty. "What?" he asked, removing his hand from the younger boy's head.

Rose's mouth inched up into a sardonic sort of smile. "You might want to try speaking as if you were born sometime this century."

"Aha!" Jake pointed a finger up as he spoke. "But I actually wasn't, young lady. I was born in the 1990's which, in point of fact, was not the same century as we are in now!" He looked enormously proud of himself.

Rose shook her head. "I quite obviously didn't mean it in the sense of being born in the 21st century exclusively, but perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that even so simple a concept could escape obtuse and literal minds." Jake's expression was one Dirk recognized as the one that set in anytime he said something Jake didn't quite follow all the way through. It looked like his brain might overheat. Rose simplified, "I meant you should speak like someone your own age."

Jake turned to Dirk with a baffled look on his face and spoke to him quietly. "How old is she again?"

Dirk bit back a laugh and didn't answer. Instead he greeted, "Hey Rose, John."

"Hello, Dirk," Rose said and her smile from before returned. "However do you put up with him?"

"Hey, I'm right here," Jake complained, but he was ignored for the moment.

"I suppose there's a point where I just find it endearing," Dirk answered her. Before Jake could figure out if that was a compliment or not, Dirk continued on another subject, "Do either of you know if Dave is coming?"

John shrugged. "Not to be all, 'he's your brother, dude', but...he's your brother, dude," he told Dirk. "Anyway, Dave's been acting all cagey lately. And I don't mean in the sense that he's been acting like Nic Cage, which would be much cooler in my opinion."

Rose looked Dirk up and down. "Family issues lie deep at the root of his current psychosis. I know more than he wanted to tell me, but he hasn't mentioned the party today, so I'm afraid I can't answer your question."

Jake spoke up again, "Where's Jane?"

"In the kitchen baking, probably," John answered him, his hand moving to indicate the entrance to the house. "Roxy is in there, too. Helping, I guess."

"I'm doubtful how much Aunt Roxy's actions count as assistance, but the kitchen was where they both were headed last I saw," Rose added.

Dirk nodded and strode in the direction of the door, pulling Jake with him, who stumbled a bit before keeping up with him. After recovering, Jake called a quick "Thanks!" over his shoulder to the two kids.

The blessedly cooler air of inside the house was soon wiped away by the heat of the kitchen. Roxy ran over to them immediately and hugged them both at the same time, one arm wrapped around each of them and her head in between. "Hey boys!" She smiled roguishly and 'accidentally' caressed her hand down Dirk's chest to his abs. He swatted her other hand away from behind before she could do the same to Jake's butt. Her coy "oopsie" was somewhat muddled by slight disappointment.

Jane looked up from her task, her eyebrows knit, one slightly raised, her mouth slanted. "Roxy," she said with a slight edge, "why did I allow you to 'help' me again? Please remind me."

Roxy let go of the boys and turned her head to look back at Jane. "Oh, Janey, I was just greeting our friends," she explained. "I'm totes all for helping ya with anything you need, just say the word. You are so important to me as a friend an' all, that I'd even rather be in here with you than out with your hot dad."

Jane groaned. "Oh yeah, I remember now."

She sighed and fixed her expression to look to Dirk and Jake. "Hello. Just give me a moment." She turned away from adding red and blue star sprinkles to vanilla frosted cupcakes to check on something in the oven, inserting a toothpick at the center. When it didn't come out clean, she shut the oven door again.

"Thank you for coming." Jane sounded a bit stressed out, but still genuinely grateful. "There's a box of decorations on the coffee table in the living room you can grab. I suspect that Roxy's sister is being about as 'helpful' as she is, so it probably hasn't been done yet."

"Hmm?" Roxy looked up after the mention of her name, licking her finger of icing.

Jane eyed her. "Wash your hands now, please," she ordered her.

Roxy gave an embarrassed laugh and headed to the sink.

Jane ushered the boys out of the room. "Too many people in the kitchen! Out, out!" she scolded them. "I'll talk to you more later, okay?"

Dirk grabbed the box from the table and they both headed back out to help with the decorations.

Roxy's sister caught the box out of the corner of her eye as they came back out. "Oh, boys, I was going to get that!"

"It's okay, we have it," Jake answered, despite the fact that he wasn't the one actually carrying it. He pulled something out to emphasize his point, however.

"Oh, well." She turned back to look at the men she'd been ogling all morning. She started fanning herself. "Fuck me, it's hot today."

Dirk looked over to her and noticed her eyes were looking at an angle he knew very well - that of one admiring an ass. He followed her gaze out of...scientific curiosity. It's not like he had any need to stare at an older man's butt. He had Jake, owner of the best behind in the entire county at least, for a boyfriend.

Unfortunately for Dirk in that moment, she noticed. She tilted her gaze back up toward him and waggled her eyebrows. "Pretty good, huh?"

Dirk crossed his arms and looked away, embarrassed. "Jake's is better," he mumbled.

"Is that so?" she asked with a slight smirk and craned her neck to take a look for herself.

Dirk stepped to block the view. "He's sixteen," he nearly growled at her. "You should be fucking ashamed of yourself."

She laughed. "Only curious," she explained, winking quickly. "Unless you want to tell me your own look just now was more than that?"

Well, he had to give her that. But still, the age gap felt more creepy when it was the older staring at the younger.

She sat back in a chair and picked up a drink which, although in an innocuous container, Dirk suspected contained alcohol of some sort.

She moved her pointer finger to indicate between Dirk and the farther figure of Jake. "You two going together?" she asked.

Dirk felt himself stiffen. This may be the sister of a trusted friend, but she was also someone who knew his family from more than just neighborhood gatherings. A woman that had dated and had a child with a cousin of his. His mouth dried up.

"That's cute," she spoke as if he'd answered and he wondered briefly if he'd managed to nod in his stiffness. She turned to regard him a bit more seriously. "I'm glad you have the courage in there to be yourself, even with your parents and such..."

He nodded for sure this time, his muscles loosening with her apparent approval.

She continued, "It's better that you follow your heart now, rather than denying it and hooking up with some girl even though you can't like her the way she likes you, having consequences..." She looked over to Rose at the table with a wistful look and it dawned on Dirk what she was implying about his cousin.

He was considering whether or not to say something, when he felt Jake's arms pounce around his shoulders. "You going to friggin help or just stand around talking to pretty ladies?"

The elder Lalonde beamed at the compliment.

"I'm going to help, of course," Dirk said, extracting his excitable boyfriend from his shoulders. "I still have the fucking box, even." He turned himself to leave the conversation and start putting up Jane's assortment of hanging lights, garlands, and other such things, meant to go between poles and in trees around the yard.

"One moment, Dirk," Roxy's sister stopped him. He paused and looked back over his shoulder. "You don't have to take things so seriously all the time. He had that problem, too. So does Rose, although I try my best to play around with her. Not everything is life or death. Fun things can just be fun, you know? Take it as a life lesson from Rita."

Dirk just nodded and turned again, striding ahead of Jake and putting the box down on a bench so they could extract its contents.

When they had nearly finished, Jake's mom showed up with Jade and a box of fireworks. The first year she had come with them, Dirk had questioned about it being more appropriate for July 4th rather than Memorial Day, and she had laughed and told him any excuse was a good excuse to blow things up. He never questioned if they were actually legal ones.

Jade joined John and Rose at the table, which they had finished with quite some time ago, and were now basically just hanging out. Her mom dropped the box off and then came over to greet the boys, only restraining herself from hugging them due to the heat.

When they finished, they went back inside the house to cool off before other guests started arriving and food was brought out. The Egbert-Crocker cousins manned the grill.

It started getting pretty lively about an hour after the first non-helper guests had arrived. Lots of neighborhood people, some that the boys knew, some they recognized only from previous parties, and some they didn't know at all. Dirk thought that he noticed a few people give them interesting looks, but since they weren't really doing anything - just talking and eating - he wasn't quite sure if perhaps he was just making it up.

When Dirk's eyes happened to catch the younger group again and spotted Dave a chill went through his spine. He started scanning the groups of people tensely. Partially not wanting to, because the last thing he wanted was to catch one of his parent's eyes and call attention to himself, but at the same time if a shark was in the water he wanted to know where it was.

It was just his luck that when he found them, he did indeed catch the eye of his mother and saw them widen before turning hastily away and back toward Jake. In his mind's eye, he could imagine her walking toward them now, his father looking after her to see where she was going and spotting him. All the trouble it could cause...Dirk only hoped his father had the sense to not make a scene in public.

He swallowed, expecting the worst, and even Jake was perceptive enough to notice that something was wrong. "Dirk, are you okay there? Did you eat something queer? Did something sting you?"

Dirk shook his head. "My parents are here," he replied in a low voice.

"Oh? Where?" Jake starting looking around in a far more obvious manner than Dirk had been.

Dirk hissed at him, "Can you not?"

"Sorry!" Jake stopped and looked embarrassedly apologetic as he took the final bite of a burger. Although, Dirk realized in that moment that the thing he had feared had not happened.

So he was just going to be ignored then?

He wasn't sure how to feel beyond relief. There was something like sadness mixed in his gut as well.

Lost in thought, he was startled when he felt Jake's hand lightly on his chin. "Dirk?" came Jake's concerned voice.

Dirk took a breath to answer, wanting to say that it was okay, that he was okay, but that would be something of a lie, and he thought he owed it to Jake to not feed him that sort of crap. He swallowed the words.

Jake was about to say something again when his finger's slipped from Dirk's face and his eyes focused on something approaching from behind Dirk, a mixture of nerves and uncertainty on his face. Dirk turned around.

His mother was there.

"Hello, Dirk," she greeted, in the resolved voice of someone who had worked hard to convince themselves to do something and not chicken out. She fiddled with her fingers slightly.

"Hi," Dirk answered her tensely.

Jake looked between them. "I- um- You know, Jane and Roxy have been a heck of a friggin long time. They must have close to a kajillion cupcakes and such to bring out. Perhaps I should offer my assistance...." He got up while he talked and turned to go.

"Wait, Jake," Dirk got up to, nearly grabbing for his hand, but stopping himself. Jake looked between him and his mother again. Dirk paused just a moment. "You are right. They probably need a lot of help. I should go, too."

"No, please, Dirk," his mother's voice called out to him, and her hand found his arm, finally making him look at her. "I wanted to talk to you."

"So...I...um...I'll see you later!" Jake spoke nervously and trotted off toward the house, looking back in their direction several times before reaching the door.

Dirk looked down at his mother's hand on his arm and she nervously retracted it. "Thank you...for staying," she said with a slight quiver to her voice. "I know you wanted to go with your- your-"

"Boyfriend?" Dirk supplied.

She had an audible intake of breath as it was spoken. "...Jake," she finished, or rather, changed her statement herself. One of her fingers went to her mouth, but she pulled it away and clenched her hand before she could bite down on the nail. "...Is he.... Is he really your boyfriend?" she asked, barely speaking the last word. Even after what she saw, what she was surely smart enough to piece together, it was as if she was still holding out on believing it. Still waiting to be told it wasn't what it seemed, but still afraid of the answer.

"Of course he is," Dirk answered plainly.

"Oh...of course," his mother repeated him with that tone of voice like she was simultaneously about to burst into laughter and tears. She did neither, though. She wouldn't, in public. She clenched her fist even tighter, however, digging her nails into her palm.

Dirk sighed.

"If this is all some sort of...act of rebellion..." his mother started.

"Rebellion?" Dirk cut her off sharply and laughed without humor, drawing a few glances from people around them. They both quieted and sat down on the bench, waiting for the attention pulled toward them to dissipate.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Dirk continued in an undertone. "Dad and I always got along until this. Why would I wreck everything with our family if I wasn't completely serious? If I hadn't tried everything I could to...to not be like this, to like girls like a...'normal' guy." He drew airquotes around the word. "But you know what the problem with that is?"

When she didn't respond, he continued again, "I'm perfectly normal the way I am. It's just current society that's backwards."

"I don't know about that, Dirk," she responded without thinking. The words stung him, but as usual, any amount that he showed it was hidden behind his dark shades. She shook her head. "I just wonder where we went wrong raising you."

"The only place you went wrong is in thinking there is anything wrong with me."

"I just wonder where this comes from suddenly. You certainly weren't always- I mean, in middle school you came to...me...." she trailed off in realization. "...Oh."

Dirk knew exactly what she was thinking about, because it was the only time he'd ever gone to either of his parents about something that related to this. It was in 7th grade, when he'd been crushing on Jake just long enough to realize it was an actual Thing and started to get a bit distressed about it. So he'd asked his mom if it was possible to be so close to a friend that it felt like love when it wasn't. She'd immediately and automatically assumed he meant one of the girls, told him he had a crush and that he should invite his "little girlfriend" over sometime. He'd been too embarrassed to say anything more to her on the subject ever again and too scared to admit he'd been talking about a boy.

...And so finally she knew.

"It's been boys all along then?" she asked weakly.

"Mmhm."

Silence stretched out, but only so far as the space between then. A racket of voices, birds, insects and other such things surrounded them.

"I just wish you could come home," she said, barely under control and holding back tears that threatened to fall in streams.

"That will only happen if Dad learns to accept this," Dirk said firmly.

"That's about as likely as you suddenly liking girls," his mother muttered offhandedly.

"So, impossible then."

She balled both her hands into fists at her thighs and then stood up. She turned back to face him. "You could pretend again," she begged in a last-ditch effort to get her son back. "You could say you broke up and that you do actually like girls, and it wouldn't have to be true. I could help you."

He shook his head. "I'm sick and tired of hiding and pretending." He pressed his lips together and then looked up at her. "You know, last week I went on a date? It was my first ever, and I had a lot of fun. And then I came home...home to a place that people accept me and don't condition their love on things about myself that I can't change."

His mother closed her eyes tightly, using the lids to aid in her fight against the tears that would otherwise win. Her lashes were wet when she opened them again, and quickly went back to Dirk to hug him closely.

His muscles tensed up in surprise before easing up and he almost, just barely, hugged her back.

"You will always, always be my son," she whispered to him. Then she pulled herself away and trotted off.

Dirk let a sigh escape him once more before picking himself up and walking into the house. He found Jake in the kitchen with Jane and Roxy as expected. They all looked at him as he entered.

Dirk shrugged and went for one of Jane's platters before speaking, "We bringing these out or what?" He didn't even acknowledge the concerned faces they were all giving him. He hated being the center of that sort of attention. They were all close enough friends that he'd be willing to talk to them each privately, but it felt strange with all of them at once. As if it somehow made it a public discussion instead of a private, personal thing. Not that he was entirely comfortable with dishing out personal stuff even one-on-one, but he was at least willing.

Thankfully, they all knew him well enough to let it go for now, although he was certainly going to have a barrage of questions and messages to deal with between them all later.

The party went on without further incident. Jane's cupcakes were delicious and a big hit, as expected. Jake's mom's set off her fireworks without setting anything on fire, which was always a plus. Then, in the evening, they helped Jane and her family clean up some after the other guests had left.

Dirk still didn't know how to feel about his mom. Things were complicated, but then simplicity had never really been his thing anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this turned out well enough for you all! Thanks again for all the love I've gotten for this. You readers are amazing!


	16. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait between chapters! There was a mix of writing something else and not writing at all that went on, but I finally have an update for this.
> 
> I honestly meant for this to just be something of an interlude with a couple of pesterlogs and a short narration bit, but it kind of took off by itself, and without spoiling stuff, I'll just say it didn't end up where I planned and now it's most certainly not an interlude (just a chapter with some pesterlogs at the beginning), and also I've now forced myself to write one more chapter after this before the next thing I had planned.
> 
> Oh, also! I just started using a tag specifically for this fic on tumblr. It's "nplhome" and I follow it, so if for some reason anyone ever wants to do anything for this fic/au, or say something addressed to me about it, you can use it, if you want. Otherwise I guess I'll just post updates and such in it.
> 
> Anyway, with no further ado:

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: dirk  
TG: DIRK  
TG: diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk  
TT: Okay, Rox, seriously.  
TT: I haven't even been logged on for 30 seconds yet.  
TG: oh good ur here  
TG: ive been watning to talk 2 u  
TG: *waitnng  
TG: *wantin  
TG: about waht happened an all wit ur mom  
TT: Roxy, are you drunk?  
TT: Did Rita give that to you, or did you steal it?  
TG: hey hey now mitser  
TG: *mister  
TG: no derailin hte conversaiton here  
TG: we will keep this formly on the trackc  
TG: of bein about u  
TT: I don't really want to talk about this.  
TG: but u wiiiiiill ;3  
TG: .....dirk  
TG: dirk whyd u stopp typing  
TG: diiiiiirk  
TT: Jesus fuck, Roxy, has it ever occurred to you that I might have other things to do than just talk to you?  
TG: yeah leik what?  
TT: ...Jane is talking to me, too.  
TG: awwww yis dirk haz all the ladies 2nite  
TT: And also Jake is kind of bugging me to talk to him.  
TG: LOL  
TG: *snerk*  
TT: What?  
TG: nothin jus liek what i said bout ladies  
TG: so then mental image of jake as a lady just 2 funny  
TT: Well, that depends.  
TG: on what exactlyy?  
TT: Are we imagining Jake as an actual lady or Jake as he is, but with a dress on?  
TG: LMAO  
TG: no yea ur rite thas like 1000% moar hiliairious  
TT: Well, I don't know, actually. I'm a bit on the fence about it having moved too much into the tacky cliche area, which removes some of its humor value.  
TT: Although, it may gain additional points from Jake being the one in our relationship that is actually interested in girls.  
TT: I have to think about that one.  
TG: oh shut up dirk cant a funny thig evr just be funny wit u?  
TG: anyways u totes changed th subject again  
TG: tsk tsk dirky  
TG: 4 shame  
TG: nao tell me bout ur mom  
TT: Fine.  
TT: It's not even that fucking interesting, anyway.  
TT: She talked to me.  
TT: I confirmed that Jake was my boyfriend.  
TT: She accused me of rebellion.  
TT: I told her why that was fucking bullshit.  
TT: She finally had an epiphany that I've always liked boys.  
TT: Begged me to lie and come home again and said she'd help me.  
TT: I turned that down because I don't fucking want to lie and hide anymore.  
TT: And that was pretty much it.  
TG: awwwww :(  
TT: What?  
TG: i wanna hug u both  
TG: bbys  
TT: Roxy, don't even.  
TG: :'(  
TG: ^thas a tear 4 u  
TT: Rox. Don't.  
TT: Anyway, I should probably actually acknowledge Jake at this point.  
TT: His pokes are starting to become painful.  
TG: pokin wit what tho? ;)  
TT: His finger. To my ribcage. Sorry to disappoint.  
TT: See you later, Roxy.  
TG: yah ok  
TG: ttyl

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

 

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

GG: Dirk?  
TT: Hello, Jane.  
TT: Might I guess you're going to ask me about what happened at the party with my mother?  
GG: Well, I was going to do a little friendly chitchat first!  
GG: ...But yes.  
GG: I know you don't like talking about these things, Dirk, but we're your friends and you really shouldn't be keeping things all bottled up so!  
GG: In any case, I'm certain our other two friends are not going to let you off the hook about it, and as dreadful as it may sound, I don't want to be the only one out of the loop.  
GG: I hope you can forgive me.  
TT: There isn't a thing you could do that I wouldn't forgive, Jane.  
GG: That sounds like a dangerous sentence, Mr. Strider. There must be some terrible trespass that if I were to commit, I'd be beyond forgiving. I'm sure there are things that I wouldn't forgive myself for, let alone you.  
TT: Nah, Crocker, that last sentence even helps my point here. While there are certainly hypothetical actions that a person could perform that I wouldn't forgive even you for, they aren't things that you'd actually do.  
TT: As much as we can say any human being is capable of anything, it's really true that there are some actions that go too much against our very beings to even really think about seriously.  
TT: Like, would you kill a man?  
TT: And before you reply...  
TT: I'm willing to bet the first things to cross your mind are some unlikely scenarios that would somehow force you into a corner where you had to or something else terrible would happen.  
TT: And that, Jane, is how I could forgive you.  
GG: Well, here you are with the philosophical discourse again.  
GG: Do you think you could run that mouth of yours into explaining what happened now?  
TT: You're a sneaky one, Jane.  
GG: Well, I try. :B  
GG: So, you may consider me to be lending a friendly ear to whatever you may say.  
TT: I'm feeling all kinds of friendship up in here. Catch me, I'm swooning.  
GG: Hohohoho.  
GG: I've caught you in my friendship trap. Now you have no choice but to lay your troubles at my doorstep.  
TT: Jane used Friendship. It was super effective.  
TT: Yeah, anyway.  
TT: I don't honestly know how to feel about the whole situation with my mom, really.  
TT: Like, it's obvious she still doesn't approve of how I am, which sucks. But at the same time, she still obviously cares and still thinks of me as her son despite that. So...it's complicated, you know?  
GG: I can't claim to have ever been in a comparable situation, so I'm not sure I do. But I guess I can understand what you mean regardless.  
TT: Are you sure it's not weird for me to talk to you about this?  
GG: Dirk, we went over this already.  
GG: While I surely won't pretend that I didn't feel hurt, I'm not going to shy away from these topics and distance you as a friend just to avoid it.  
GG: So I'm quite sure.  
GG: Really.  
GG: Please continue.  
TT: Not sure there's much else to say. She offered to help me lie to Dad about my relationship and sexuality if I'd come home, but I couldn't do that.  
TT: I'm so through with that stress.  
GG: You know, wise guy, if you were under all this stress, maybe you should have come to us about it earlier?  
GG: You don't have to be alone.  
TT: I think...I realize that now.  
TT: And for what it's worth, I'm sorry.  
GG: Well, shucks. You are forgiven, of course.  
TT: Shucks, huh? Jane's bringing out the real serious, heavy-hitting language tonight.  
GG: I will use whatever language I see fit, buster.  
TT: I see that.  
TT: Anyway, I should go.  
TT: Need to talk to Jake now.  
GG: Is he making a bother of himself?  
TT: Something like that.  
TT: Talk to you later?  
GG: Of course!

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

 

Dirk grabbed Jake's finger as he closed out of the windows. "Will you stop that?"

"Well, you should pay attention to me," Jake stated, as if calmly closing out all other things and turning toward him were the obvious course of action from being prodded repeatedly in the torso. "Were you talking to them about what happened before me?"

Dirk studied Jake's expression for a moment. He had on a sort of miffed face, but not one that was seriously hurt. "Yeah. Shit, do you think you're special or something?" Dirk teased slightly.

"I reckoned I was, what with being your boyfriend and all," Jake said in reply, wrapping his arms around where he was formerly poking incessantly. "Now tell me what happened, you scoundrel."

"Man, how many times am I going to have to repeat this?" Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose a bit and thought, for the third time, how he should explain what went down.

"Well, that's what you get for refusing to explain it to us all at once. You have no one to blame but yourself."

"Touché," Dirk admitted and then sighed. He was right of course, but at the same time, Dirk couldn't really bring himself to open up to all three of them at once. It felt too much like a pity party then, and he hated that.

He decided to explain the whole thing in more detail to Jake, including the story about what his mom said about him having a crush back when. Jake just listened the whole time he spoke, dislodging himself from Dirk and sitting on the bed. He looked a bit like he was going to say something a few times, but Dirk just barreled on, not really letting him interrupt.

"...And so then she said that I'd always be her son, and that was that. The end," Dirk finished up.

"So Dirk, about that bit with your crush..." Jake inquired, finally given space to speak. "Was that me?"

Dirk raised an eyebrow at him, otherwise keeping his expression even. "I already told you that, didn't I? When we were out to eat. Do I have to remind you of my juvenile crush on you every week?"

"Yes, but, you didn't tell me about what you mom said, so I don't know, it could have been another fellow," Jake responded back and he blushed a bit.

"It was you, you fucking dork," Dirk confirmed, granting Jake something of a smile with the words. "You and your strange sense of enthusiasm, and your little shorts, and your geeky fucking square glasses."

Jake scoffed playfully. "Excuse you, sir, but my glasses are in fact rectangles, not squares. Also, they are not geeky. They make a bold, manly statement." Dirk laughed a bit at that, but Jake continued, "If anyone's glasses are geeky, it would be your silly pointy sunglasses, shaped after the fashion of your Japanese animation."

Dirk's laughter stopped on the spot and his mouth fell back flat. "My shades are not geeky. They are rad as fuck," he stated.

"Oh. 'Rad'." Dirk could _hear_ the quotations around the word as it came from Jake's mouth. "Is that what they are calling it these days?"

"The fact that your criticism my use of the word rad is in the tone of an elderly grandfather not up to the hip new jargon instead of pointing out that it's lame and dated by about two decades is a good bit of why I seriously wonder about you sometimes." Dirk crossed his arms and shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment behind his shades. "Of course, it's not lame anyway, by virtue of me knowing that it's lame and therefore using it ironically, but that's perhaps too advanced for your current level of understanding. Fully grasping the layers of irony I have in this thing may remain beyond your reach, but if you could just even get the linguistic-"

"Dirk, just shut up and kiss me already," Jake cut him off abruptly mid-speech. This would undoubtedly have gone on for quite some time otherwise.

Dirk grinned on one side of his mouth, exposing a canine, and came over to sit at Jake's side, looping an arm around him. "Want me that bad, huh?"

Jake didn't react to the touch. "I don't know, Dirk!" He sighed up at the ceiling. "Do you ever consider that sometimes when you get all into your long-winded explanations and technicalities that you are just being really boring?"

Dirk paused before answering to watch Jake's face for traces of the sort of amusement he carried when he was teasing. There was none to be found, although there was a flash of regret after a few moments of Dirk's silence.

Dirk pulled back a bit, dropping his hand away from Jake's shoulders. "Boring, huh?" he repeated the word back dully.

"I didn't mean-"

"Yeah, you did."

Dirk pulled his lips into a thin line and they both sat in silence for awhile, Jake gripping the comforter into his fists and looking at his lap somewhat sadly.

"Well, you don't have to force yourself to kiss me," Dirk somehow couldn't help himself but say. "If I'm so boring, we can just play a video game or something." He didn't look at Jake. He realized that it was a sort of manipulation. The idea was to be brisk and act like he was assuming the worst of Jake's feelings in order to elicit a declaration of the opposite. He didn't want to guilt Jake or make him apologize, really. There were sort of complicated, mildly hurt and paranoid feelings behind it that he'd never really admit to, and it pretty much never worked on Jake. Logically, he should cease trying the tactic, but it came as a sort of grating instinct that refused to stop.

"Maybe we should," Jake responded, as expected.

Dirk sighed. He really didn't want things to go like this. But he was so hard for him to take things back. Time to man fucking up. He gritted his teeth. "Wait- Jake, I..." he stumbled at the unfamiliar territory. "Please- Shit, it's not like that. I knew what you meant. I'll shut up. We can kiss. Just...don't be like this." He reached out his hand again.

Jake stood up before Dirk's fingers could brush against him. "I'm sorry, Dirk, but I'm just not in the mood anymore."

Dirk pulled his outstretched fingers back into a fist and dropped it to his lap. "Okay," he stated evenly. Mentally, he berated himself. Why did he have to make that mistake? Jake was actually feeling bad about what he said until he did that. Or furthermore, why did he even have to take the boring thing so hard in the first place? Jake shouldn't have to feel bad. He was right. To have someone go on and on about something he didn't understand well couldn't be entertaining. It was Dirk's own self-indulgence, and he did it a lot. How long had he been bothered by it in silence? Then Jake finally let him know how he felt and what did Dirk do?

_Shit._

"That's fine," Dirk added to his own pile of not saying what he felt.

Jake sighed.

Silence prevailed.

Jake broke it again. "I'm going for a walk."

Dirk finally looked back up. "Should I come with y-"

"No!" Jake shot at him, then added more calmly, "I just need some space."

"Yeah, okay," Dirk responded without a single trace of the emotion boiling inside. "I understand."

Jake sighed again, more heavily this time, then left the room.

Dirk sat motionless and in silence for several minutes before uttering just a single word to the currently lonely room.

"Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeaaaah. I did not intend that, it just happened. Sometimes my writing gets away from me. So I'll have to resolve it next chapter, I am sorry.
> 
> This actually brushes against my opinions on their relationship issues from canon as well. Except here you actually have Jake saying the words, which is actually HUGE. In a good way, although it seems like a terrible thing to say. Never keep your problems with someone bottled in, kids, it only makes things worse.
> 
> What it boils down to is this:
> 
> Dirk would say things like, he understand if Jake needs space, some negative things about himself, etc. Being with someone you love, one would hope the response would eventually come to "No, I love spending time with you, you are positive things" etc. This would be something like the sort of people that say terrible things they don't really believe about themselves in order to receive compliments, but there's a big difference. And that is in a deeply rooted paranoia that the person actually believes exactly what is being said. So when Jake doesn't have the positive response, it only causes pain that Dirk has difficulties admitting to or expressing, and makes him feel like more of an annoyance.
> 
> Meanwhile, this very behavior is the annoyance.
> 
> You see, because from Jake's perspective, it's something like, "Why do you have to keep doubting me, I don't doubt you. Can't you just let me feel my own feelings without trying to manipulate them?"
> 
> Sorry for this tangent. This fic wasn't particularly meant to delve into this stuff, but Dirk and Jake's relationship is just so INTERESTING, I can't-
> 
> Anyway, to repeat from earlier, nplhome is the tag.
> 
> I love you guys.
> 
> See you next chapter and thanks for putting up with me.


	17. Pair

Jake walked faster down the street, trying to clear the million thoughts that bombarded his head. He didn't know what to think, really. This wasn't the first time he'd had a problem with Dirk's management of their relationship, nor the way he tended to carry on conversation sometimes. But in the past, he'd generally let it go. Only now, he couldn't fathom why.

He didn't want to make Dirk feel bad, was the first conclusion he could come to. Now he had broken that and hurt him, but it had only been an honest comment. Was their entire relationship's stability hanging on threads of lies? Lies, or whatever you call it when you withhold vital information.

Jake felt a bit sick to his stomach.

It crossed his mind that maybe he should just end it.

He stopped his walk and doubled over some bushes, nearly retching right then and there, but after a couple of dry heaves he just collapsed on the pavement. He couldn't do it.

He couldn't do it.

He tried to imagine himself going back to Dirk and saying all this, but just thinking about it made his mind chicken out, let alone actually seeing Dirk's face in the moment. Knowing what he'd be doing and how much Dirk had gone through for this, how could he just end it and leave him alone?

So was that it? Did he just ignore the issue? Was he to continue down this path just to avoid causing pain? Was he stuck forever into this relationship from pure avoidance of the consequences of a few words?

He collected himself and started heading home, considerably slower than his venture out had been. Jake wasn't generally given to introspection. He needed to talk to someone to sort this out.

-

Dirk still stayed still perched on the bed for awhile after his utterance, thinking about all the various ways he had just fucked up. On top of that, he thought back to all the possible times he had fucked up in the past but he didn't know because Jake hadn't said anything.

Not that he hadn't ever suspected anything. Jake likely felt forced into this relationship. They probably totally jumped the gun by hooking up right after that dumb, exhilarating kiss. One kiss. What were they even thinking? Jake probably regretted it but was too much of a coward to say so.

What if he wanted to break up? What if he'd wanted to before but just never said anything?

...But the time that they'd had that weekend that they'd gone out, and the feeling of love in the yard under the sunlight had felt so real.

Which feelings were the truth?

Fuck, he needed a distraction. If he kept to himself, his own thoughts would start to eat him alive. He finally made a move to the computer, waking it up and opening up the Pesterchum client. Jake's screenname, although not lit up, was still tempting. Maybe he could attempt to explain himself or something while Jake was out...

He heard the front door open and shut and sat stock still with apprehension as Jake's footsteps came up the stairs. They stopped midway down the hall, though, going into Jake's room instead and practically slamming the door behind him.

He stared at the screen, his heart beating faster, between typing something fast before Jake could log back in, waiting to see if he came on so maybe he could actually speak with him that way, even though he was just down the hall, or just logging out entirely.

A message popped up before he could make a decision, however.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: hey bro  
TG: so not to step on your personal space  
TG: all space invader  
TG: but less shooting at aliens  
TG: and more asking something that maybe isnt my business  
TG: but what actually happened?

Dirk had to pause at the screen. What happened? What the hell. Unless Dave had established some previously unknown psychic link, he was fairly certain he shouldn't know anything.

TT: What do you mean what happened?  
TG: with mom?  
TG: you talked to her at the party right?  
TG: she all up and locked herself in your room when we came home  
TG: kinda freaking me out  
TG: you know  
TG: hypothetically  
TG: if it were possible to freak me out

Dirk could imagine Dave's face clearly in his mind. He knew his brother too well. A stiff face of one all to obviously trying to keep his emotions under wraps. A bit to strained to be an actual neutral face, perhaps twitching in one corner.

TT: Oh, right.  
TT: Yeah, she did.  
TT: I almost forgot about that.

All that shit with Jake just now had pretty effectively pushed his Mom thoughts away. She had locked herself in his room? But he had removed anything even vaguely personal from it. That just sounded depressing.

TG: you almost forgot?  
TG: i dont buy it  
TG: you didnt have a conversation with her that could make her act like that  
TG: like borderline you died or something  
TG: all up and obsessing over your very existence  
TG: and just forget  
TG: unless something else happened  
TG: did something else happen?  
TG: id joke ask if you and your boyfriend broke up  
TG: but its less funny now that hes actually your boyfriend  
TG: and also that might actually be what happened  
TG: shit  
TG: is that what happened?

Dirk cringed. That hit too close to home. Way too close to the fear of what might come. Not that he was planning on avoiding the issue. No way, if Jake refused to talk through this and give him an answer, he'd have to do it himself.

His fingers froze at the keyboard at the thought. It was severely unpleasant.

TG: bro?  
TG: dirk?  
TG: seriously here  
TT: We didn't break up.  
TT: I'm not even sure what happened would qualify as a fight.  
TT: It's sorta complicated.  
TT: Is that good enough for you?  
TG: yeah

There was a pause then, and Dirk sighed, partially in relief, but also partially in disappointment, as surprising as that was. It felt weird to talk to his brother about this. At the same time, he maybe really needed someone to talk to about this. Just talking to himself in his own mind was driving him insane.

Before he collected his thoughts completely, however, another message appeared.

TG: no  
TG: shit  
TG: im not saying that what im doing right here is caring  
TG: but you know  
TG: maybe you should talk to me about it  
TG: or something  
TG: have a bro to bro chat

Dirk wasn't sure if he was satisfied with this turn of events, really. But perhaps it was for the best. Better to just go for it.

TT: Okay, so maybe he said something to me that could be construed as an insult to my person, but was really more like something about me that probably has been getting on his nerves for a long time, but he's just never said anything about it before.  
TT: And maybe I reacted in a negative and perhaps manipulative fashion.  
TT: Said some things that I really fucking shouldn't have and made things worse.  
TT: So he took off and said he needed some space.  
TT: And I just might be feeling a bit...apprehensive...at the idea that he might be reconsidering the appeal of our relationship.

There. It was out. It sort of felt really dumb telling an eleven-year-old all that, though. At least he had stopped himself from using the word "afraid". Even though he was.

TG: shit man  
TG: no relationship is perfect  
TG: like married couples and shit still argue and all  
TG: you are probably blowing this all out of proportion  
TG: so uncool  
TG: thats kind of hilarious

Dirk swallowed his embarrassment and anger at the words. He really shouldn't have come to Dave about this after all. What a dumb thing, to trust his bratty little brother with his personal problems.

TT: It's not that simple.  
TT: It's also, like, if he's going to be the type to just keep things from me and be a coward and make me just have to wonder if he's having a problem with me, then maybe I should be the one to end it.  
TG: ok  
TG: so heres my question then  
TG: or questions i guess  
TG: do you love him?  
TG: and  
TG: would you feel happier if you just released yourself from this relationship with him  
TG: or stuck around and actually worked on your goddamn problems?

Fuck, being schooled on this by a shitty preteen was probably the most embarrassing thing ever. Dirk sighed and gritted his teeth and thought of his answer.

-

Jake released some anger on the door as he entered his room. Anger at Dirk, anger at himself, anger at this whole ridiculous situation. He took a deep breath before approaching his desk chair. He needed to talk to someone. He just couldn't figure this out alone. He couldn't figure out what he was feeling, what he wanted.

He booted up his computer and was about to click open Pesterchum to see if one of the girls was online when there was a light knock at the door. He frowned. That better not be Dirk, he really didn't want to talk to him right now-

"Jake?" Jade's voice came from the hallway, surprising Jake out of his foul thoughts. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah...of course!" Jake answered and quickly got up to open the door himself, waiting for his half-sister to step inside before closing it, rather more quietly than he had earlier, after her.

Once the door was securely closed, Jade looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "Are you okay? Did something happen? I heard your door slam."

Jake gave his little sister a smile. She knew well enough that he had trouble sorting his thoughts out when he was upset, but he wasn't sure he really wanted to discuss this particular problem with her. She was still just a child, really.

He attempted to give her a show of perking up. "I'm quite alright, my dear sister! Just a trifling thing. I shouldn't go bothering you with it! Ahaha!" If a smile could crack like a mirror, his probably would right now. He felt about to shatter.

He pumped out a larger strain of laughter and Jade frowned deeply at him.

"Did something happen with Dirk?" she inquired further, tilting her head at him.

More strained, false laughter erupted. "Why would you say that now?" How much she had hit the mark was rather unnerving. He supposed she must have been the one to get the pinpoint accuracy from their mother.

She shrugged. "You were in his room earlier, and now you are upset and you aren't talking to him," she stated. "Pretty simple, really."

He slumped down onto his bed. "Well, I suppose you've beaten it out of me!" he exclaimed, even though she hadn't, really.

She jumped up onto the bed next to him and gave him a hug, letting him speak out his troubles.

"He can just be so annoying sometimes!" Jake continued. "And then he acts like such things mean that I don't love him or I don't want to be with him, and that's so much more annoying than any other offence that led up to that conclusion. Doesn't he trust me? How can I continue to court someone that doesn't believe that I want to be with him in the first place?"

"Do you want to be with him?" she asked, arms still around him, but tilting her head up to watch his face for a response.

"I...don't rightly know...anymore." Jake felt a deep sense of melancholy, like some invisible heavy thing pressing down on him. It made every choice seem dreadful.

"If I asked you before today, would you say you wanted to be with him?" she prodded further, still watching him intently.

"Yes! Definitely!" he answered with some passion, but then it faded back into the gloom. "I was happy with him. But right now, no matter how hard I think, I can seem to even remember what about him made me so happy..."

"But you were happy?"

"I was...even with our problems, for some reason...very happy."

TT: I do want to be with him.

"And I suppose I do still have quite a lot of feelings for him."

TT: I don't actually think I could completely stop loving him if I tried.

"That probably sounds..."

TT: Really fucking dumb, I know.

"Golly! This feels a bit silly to be telling a youngster like yourself."

TT: Feel even dumber telling it like this to your little pre-pubescent shitface.

"...But I did need someone to talk to."

TT: You know me.

"I'm not exactly good at sorting out thoughts all by my lonesome."

TT: My mind tears itself apart when left to its own devices.

"I honestly feel pretty guilty about this whole scenario."

TT: I feel like this is all my fault.

"I've been..."

TT: Self-centered.

"Not thinking about what I was doing wrong. Trying so hard not to hurt him, but then that only hurt him more."

TT: I hate being upfront about my feelings, but if I hide them, how are they supposed to penetrate his dense skull? It's not his responsibility to work me out like a puzzle.

"We should be more honest with each other."

TT: I used to think we were having fun. That we were being something resembling sweet to each other.

"I spent so much time thinking how nice I was being to look past the problems I had with him. That it was ideal. But as it turns out..."

TT: We're actually a couple of huge, shitty assholes.

"Well, at least it's not like one person has to completely change for the other, we just have to...work things out together. If we want to."

TT: We both have our problems.

"Perhaps it sounds more than a tad bit cheesy, but what can I say?"

TT: We're a pair.

-

Dirk was back on the bed, sprawled out with his eyes open facing the ceiling, when there was a knock on the door. He sat up quickly with a start, causing temporary dizziness. He held his head for a moment, feeling a headache coming on.

"Dirk?" came Jake's voice from outside the door. "It's me. Can we...talk?"

Dirk bit his lip and released his slightly throbbing head. He worried what Jake might have come to talk about just when he'd resolved himself that he wanted to stay with him, and that pained him more.

But avoidance would truly be worse.

"Yeah. Come in," he answered finally.

Jake opened the door and quietly padded in, leaving the door ajar as per his mother's rule. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself. Stay standing, sit on the bed, pace about. Dirk moved over on the bed and patted a spot near him as a way to make the boy stop fidgeting.

He started to wonder if maybe the invitation was too forward after Jake had asked for space, but Jake accepted and crawled up next to him, actually coming in closer than Dirk had indicated.

They were both silent for some time, staring anywhere but at each other.

"I'm sorry!" Jake finally blurted. "...I'm sorry, Dirk. I thought I was doing things right, but I hurt your feelings a lot, probably. I didn't realize. I'm sorry."

Dirk nodded. He felt his heart warm up at the words. He never really expected an apology, but it felt really good to get one.

"I forgive you," he told Jake, looking at him now. "And I'm sorry, too. For trying to manipulate you, and not trusting you with my feelings." He thought for a moment, thinking back to all his paranoia. "...Or even with your own, I guess."

Jake gave him a tired smile. "We've really just be huge jerks to each other, haven't we? Or...Jirks you could say."

Dirk raised an eyebrow at him.

"...If you imagine that spelt with an 'i' instead of an 'e', it's really quite humorous, I assure you!" Jake insisted.

Dirk snorted and allowed himself a chuckle. "So, are we going to change?" he asked, after the laughter had turned into silence again.

"I'd like to try," Jake told him quietly. "I thought quite a bit about this, and I do believe that my heart thinks you are worth trying for."

"Thanks, Jake," Dirk said with a sincerity rarely heard with his voice. "That means a whole fucking lot. And...I want to try, too. For you."

They sat in a far more comfortable silence now, their hands slowly and quietly overlapping and entwining with each other.

"Dirk?" Jake broke it again.

"Yeah?"

"You may snog me now, if you'd like."

Dirk broke into a smile a the words, but paused on their movement toward each other's lips, holding his finger up. "One thing, first."

"Hmm? What is it, my dear fellow?"

Dirk moved his line of sight from Jake's lips up to his eyes and held them there, even going as far as to remove his shades, looking at him quite frankly and openly. "I love you."

Jake looked startled for just a moment before warming up, some heat visible on his cheeks. "I love you, too."

The distance between them closed and their lips met in a searing kiss that for some reason felt more electrifying than ever before. Something shared, but nothing lost.  
It felt as if their entire relationship before had been nothing but child's play. A silly act of love, a shadow of the real thing. Shallow. This felt deep. Deep and sustaining and _strong_.

Both of them shook as their deep kiss parted for breath, lips quivering and huffing against each other, warmth everywhere. They connected again, pulling each other closer, ever closer, collapsing down on the bed, the entire rest of the world shut out. It was only when they parted again that something else became apparent.

Jake pulled away slightly and looked down to his pants. "Oh. Um...how embarrassing." He would have blushed, but his face was already completely flushed from the intense makeout session.

Dirk tilted his head back up with a finger. "I'm not embarrassed," he stated plainly. "I feel comfortable with you."

Jake smiled at him nearly slyly and pressed himself back in close.

Dirk's breath caught and his mouth turned into an 'o' for just a moment, then he relaxed his arms around Jake again. "We can't right now, though," he whispered.

"I know," Jake whispered back, nuzzling his neck. Dirk shivered.

It was exciting, and nerve-wracking, and all sorts of swirls of want and uncertainty, but more than ever, it felt like it would be right. It was weird to think he was glad that something so terrible had happened between them today, but he was. Because otherwise, none of this would have come to light and he wouldn't feel this strong connection he felt now.

This was right.

"Soon enough, it will be summer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say that I am really actually quite pleased with how this chapter came out, and unless some later self-criticism comes into play, which happens sometimes, this may be my favorite yet!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading it.
> 
> And thank you thank you thank you to those that have left me kudos, bookmarked the piece, or left me comments. You are all amazing and I continue to appreciate it. Everyone that likes and continues to come back to read my fiction just blows me away. 45 people subscribe to this story and that just boggles my mind amazingly. I don't have any clue who you are, but wow!
> 
> <3
> 
> Next chapter will be time skip to the summer. Yes yes, but I do intend to keep the T rating, so don't get your hopes up about actually reading that particular scene. I'm terrible at writing porn anyway, so you really aren't missing much.
> 
> Until next time! <3


	18. End of Ennui

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again! Sorry about the length of time between chapters. I started writing another fic that I was trying to be pickier about my narration writing with, didn't finish the chapter, got less inspired to write, procrastinated a lot. Then said, you know what, why don't I go back to nplhome, I think I can write that more easily now and actually get something accomplished, so here we are.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone that left me comments on the last chapter, lovely people. Also anyone that gave me kudos and such lately. I'm constantly amazed. Thanks!

The end of the school year came and went, and soon enough Dirk was whiling away his days in his room. Spending the time mostly either on the computer or reading until boredom set in. He'd gotten a few updates on his mom from Dave and - if Dirk was reading through the lines of his excessively verbose text correctly - she seemed to be improving.

He leaned back in his desk chair, pushing it slightly away with his feet and staring at the ceiling a bit. In these past few weeks since his fallout with Jake and subsequent amazing recovery, he'd been trying to give the boy some space. What little he could, considering they were living in the same household.

It was at least somewhat convenient in that they typically spent their time in his room and not Jake's, so that he merely had to wait for Jake to come down the hall and not have to guess if he'd currently enjoy his company, but then it was also bothersome in that in quickly discovered that he got lonelier faster and often enough had to fight the urge to go knocking himself.

He never thought this would prove to be a problem, as he'd previously been quite used to staying mostly in his own room without company, but his time with Jake thus far had left him spoiled now and in need of distractions.

He wanted something more to do with his summer, but unfortunately, his only current idea - something that involved youtube videos, an interest in sewing he'd managed to pick up despite his previous living arrangements, and a certain sort of humor - was not something he could do by himself.

Maybe he could mention the idea to Jake when he was in a good mood without actually asking and see if he'd miraculously volunteer.

As if on call from above, there was a knock at the door and Jake entered without actually waiting for a response. Dirk might have commented on this, except that he really couldn't think of something he could be doing that he'd really be bothered by Jake witnessing, so he merely raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, so," Jake began to speak, coming over to him and slumping himself over his shoulders, "it seems that despite my best efforts, I have fallen into the grasp of tedium once again."

Dirk looked over his shoulder at him. "Yeah, I'm bored, too," he stated, then decided to go for it. "Actually, there was this idea I was thinking of..."

"Oh, ideas...I..." a slight color came to Jake's cheeks, just barely noticeable. "I actually have certain...ideas...of my own I, er...wanted to talk to you about." He broke away and started fiddling with his hands. Dirk turned around on the chair to witness Jake sit down on the bed and the jolt off of it.

Curiosity got the better of him. "...Yes?"

Jake swallowed and attempted to collect himself. "It seems that...Jade is in fact going over a friend's house. That is - she is being dropped off tonight and staying all day tomorrow. Mom plans to pick her back up on her way home from work. So we should...have all day. If you understand me."

Dirk felt a heat come to his own cheeks as well, although he internally scolded himself for it. He didn't want to be a blushing virgin in this, although they both literally were currently. Jake smiled at it, however.

Dirk kept his gaze steady at Jake, at least. He refused to look away this time. That move would just make him seem more like some dumb shy character from a romance and that wasn't how he wanted to approach this.

That wasn't it, anyway. He truly believed at this point that he'd come to a comfort level with Jake enough that he could be naked or doing any number of things with him watching and be totally okay with it. It was more that, despite all that he thought he knew from watching or reading things, it really didn't hold anything to first hand experience, and as a result he was struck with sudden nerves and worry that he really did not know what he was doing.

Jake seemed slightly unnerved by his extended gaze, even shaded. Or perhaps it was the silence that did it. He turned away himself. "So, do you know how we should...er...go about it?"

Dirk was so taken aback by how closely that question resembled his current thoughts that a guard of sarcasm came up. "Do you need a diagram?"

"Come now, Dirk, I don't think that comment was strictly necessary," Jake proceeded to call him out on it, to his credit. His face wavered again after. "But there are certain things...you know...like..." he swallowed thickly. "Like..."

"Like...?" Dirk repeated, although he could fathom some guesses as to what Jake was getting at.

"You know..." Jake stalled repeatively some more. "Like...who leads when you dance?"

"We aren't dancing, Jake," Dirk pointed out flatly, although he now knew exactly what Jake was trying to ask him. But it was more fun this way.

"Do I really need to say it?" Jake spat out, obviously flustered.

"You can't say it, but you can do it?" Dirk continued to prod him, keeping his amusement off of his face.

"I dare say you enjoy torturing me!" Jake burst, then quieted immediately, waiting in silence a few moments to make sure he hadn't attracted the attention of either of his family members. Then he continued in a harsh whisper, "You know perfectly friggin well what I mean."

"Fine, fine, I do," Dirk finally admitted, raising his hands to the level of his chest. "But is it really all that fucking important? I guess I always just figured on taking turns or doing whatever we felt like at the moment."

Jake scratched his neck and creased his eyebrows together. "Yeah, but...the first time...seems more important...somehow."

"Okay, so we want to be fair, right?" Dirk slapped his hands down to his thighs and stood up, causing Jake to jump slightly, but he nodded. Dirk continued, "So we'll be fair. We'll decide it on a game. Whoever wins a certain amount of rounds tops, which is what I am pretty damn well certain you were getting at."

"Dirk!" Jake turned far redder at that being said. He hushed up again nervously. "We can't decide that sort of thing over a game of Halo."

"Can't we?" Dirk ribbed him, smirking. "What? You afraid you can't win?"

Jake huffed up and clenched his fists at his sides. "Oh, please, Mr. Strider." Then he pointed one finger aggressively at Dirk. "You are the one at a disadvantage here."

"So it's on?" Dirk asked for clarification, standing tall at Jake's sudden appearance of aggression.

"Oh, it's on like an inappropriately named ape with a habit of stealing princesses."

Dirk's grin widened and he bolted out the door, Jake chasing after him, his feet pounding loudly on the floor. Jade peeked out from her room, a half-packed night bag in hand and a baffled expression on her face.

One round in, Jake's mother leaned over the couch and watched, spooking both of them slightly, to which they called a temporary truce for the sake of fairness and good sportsmanship.

"Aren't you two taking this unusually seriously?" she asked them, standing herself back up and putting her hands on her hips.

Their only responses were sharply worded, "You wouldn't understand, Mom.", "It's a guy thing." and "Whoever wins is the better man."

She shook her head and started to leave to check on Jade, but jumped when her younger child was standing in the doorway. "I bet I could beat both of you!" Jade called to them.

"This isn't about you!" came Jake's hasty reply.

Jade turned smugly back to their mother. "I'm the better man," she joked.

"Yes, sweetie," came the reply, along with a sigh. "Now go back and finish packing if you want to get there on time."

Jade ran back off upstairs and Jess peered curiously back at the teen boys before leaving the room again herself.

When she asked who'd won later, neither of them would answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I will never actually write that part, whoever you want to have won can be your own private canon. Although I know that will also irritate some people, and to those people I am sorry.
> 
> See you next time. *wonks*


	19. The Afternoon After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter! Sorry for taking so long again. I spent a lot of time playing Dynasty Warriors 8, I am very sorry.
> 
> Please enjoy.

A thought caused Dirk to bolt upright from his position laying next to Jake. The action was sudden, but the thought was not. It had crept up on him like a ninja assassin ready to assail his mind so he could no longer just rest idly. He felt Jake's arms somewhat weakly attempt to pull him back down.

"Don't get up," Jake complained, groggily, as if here were woken from sleep, despite the fact that it hadn't been nearly long enough for him to have done so yet. "Although I lack experience on these matters, I have come to understand that this is the part where, traditionally, one lays comfortably in the arms of their partner for some time, basking in the glow of what they've just done, or such-like."

"Mm," Dirk grunted out what passed for assent and laid back down, but his muscles still felt wound up and ready to spring. He couldn't stop his mind from thinking the thoughts making him nervous and paranoid. He shifted uncomfortably in the now-dirtied sheets. "We should wash," he stated.

Jake attempted to focus on Dirk's unshaded eyes, but it was difficult without his own glasses, causing him to squint and make an odd face. "You and your obsession with cleanliness, I know. But it would be nice to have some time here with you despite our...sticky situation."

Dirk groaned a bit at the bad pun, but didn't say anything. Jake continued, "I didn't get to lay with you long after the first time we slept together, so now I'd like to after the first time we've...slept together."

"Huh?"

Rather than explaining, Jake just smiled that he was the one able to confuse for once. "Just relax here with me for now, alright? Can't you control your urge to clean yourself for a while?"

Dirk tried to relax, but he still couldn't. It wasn't really the problem of cleanliness that had caused him to be on edge, although it was uncomfortable. It was the thought of everything they had to do to cover up their deed before Jake's mom came home. They both had to shower and they had to wash the sheets. And they couldn't do those at the same time because the water temperature would fluctuate. Additionally, if they both seemed like they had just gotten out of the shower it would also be suspicious. Jake's mother was far more shrewd than her son and Dirk's mind tended toward paranoia already.

"Forgive me if I'm off the mark on this," the classic Jake preamble for when he tended to actually be uncharacteristically astute, "but I think that perhaps there is something else that is bothering you?"

Dirk nodded. "I keep fucking worrying about being caught when your mom comes home," he admitted.

"But that's hours away!" Jake contested, pulling his boyfriend closer to him with more strength than he'd had to pull him down with. He rubbed his nose gently against Dirk's before speaking again, more softly, "You have no need to worry just yet."

Dirk took in a deep breath. "You're right, I know," he said with a released breath and tried to relax again, tried to concentrate on the way Jake's fingers traced his skin. But at the back of his mind was just this constant nag. He attempted to push it away further with a kiss, feeling his lips and then his tongue against Jake's, hoping for that blissful connected sensation that made the whole rest of the world fade away, but it just wouldn't come. His thoughts were too thoroughly raided.

He pulled away again. "I'd just feel more comfortable if we did everything first and then relaxed. It would be less suspicious if there were more time between us cleaning and her returning anyway. She might not be able to know for sure, but it would be strange enough that she might not trust us alone anymore."

"She'd be right to," Jake said, his mouth turning to a frown. "We betrayed her trust. What she'd suspect is exactly what we did." He sighed and then added, "I believe she thinks we are too young for sex."

Dirk nearly laughed thanks to both the abruptness and the obviousness of the statement, but he contained it. "It's almost funny how most parents think that even though their generation really wasn't any better at keeping it in their pants at our age. It's like a collective generational stupidity passed down through the ages."

"Then if you venture back far enough, we'd be expected to be thinking about marriage at our age," Jake commented.

"Yeah, to a girl no older than 13," Dirk responded wryly.

"Well of course!" Jake shot back in mock-seriousness. "Can't be thinking about a girl our age, they are all old maids if they aren't married already." He then exploded into laughter, and Dirk allowed himself some as well before stopping and dropping into a slight frown.

Jake examined his face, bringing is fingers up to touch it as he did so, lingering at his mouth. "Aren't you going to woo me away from that life?" he asked, continuing the joke just a bit longer.

Dirk felt just a slight twitch of a smile come back to his face. "Shit, haven't I done that already?"

Jake snuggled into him more at that before abruptly pulling away and announcing, "Fine, you win!"

"I do?" Dirk questioned, wondering what he won, exactly.

"Yes, I consent to your shower proposal," Jake elaborated. "There isn't much point to the whole snuggling bit if you won't relax. But this is on one condition."

"What's that?" Dirk asked.

"We shower together," Jake said with a smile that could almost qualify as mischievous.

It wasn't like Dirk hadn't considered that himself. Might have even suggested it when it came down to figuring who would go first. He'd wanted to ever since the thought first crossed his mind the day he moved in here, although it wasn't possible at the time. "It's like you read my mind," Dirk smirked a bit as he spoke. "You should use that power more often, it could get you places."

"Well, going places would certainly rate amongst my top wanted activities, although I am suspicious as to the nature of the places in question," Jake answered back. "...But then again, I suppose it can get much more suspicious than the places I've already been." He winked at the end of this.

Dirk shook his head and brought himself to his feet. "How very naive, lover," he chuckled. The word felt strange but also nice on his lips. His sincerity level was dubious to even himself.

Jake sat still for a moment, blinking. "I suppose that isn't inaccurate at this moment." It was hard to tell which part he meant with that. "However, I'm not rightly sure how often we will be able to enact upon this new status." He clambered out of the bed, almost tangling a foot in the sheets before hopping awkwardly out of it.

Dirk watched him, then flicked his eyes up and down over him. "How sexy," he deadpanned. "I will clearly have trouble keeping it in my pants at inappropriate times. Boners all over the fucking place."

Jake gave a look of dreadful embarrassment before recovering. Well, at least he recognized the sarcasm. Not that it took a master of it in that particular instance. "Dreadfully sorry for the inconvenience," he laughed at himself. "I will attempt to contain how irresistibly suave I am in public settings." He coughed and cleared his throat. "But back to the subject before my unfortunate dance with the bedspread, how about just 'love'?"

Dirk turned toward the door at that and headed out, Jake following after a moment's pause of confusion at his reaction. The word still stirred him in a way that he found stupidly embarrassing. At least when he wasn't expecting it. "Dork," he finally found his voice, although it came out more quietly than usual.

Jake still heard it just fine, smiling again and speeding up behind him. "You love it."

Dirk wasn't absolutely certain what he was referring to. If it was being called 'love', that was absolutely correct and perhaps even an embarrassing understatement. If it was him being a dork...well, it had its endearing qualities, he had to admit.

"...And you're a nerd," Jake added.

Dirk whirled around to him, nearly causing a collision, and raised an eyebrow. Jake raised his chin up in defiance, as if to say, 'yeah, you heard me'.

Dirk stared him down. "Ass."

"Dick," Jake shot back without reflection.

Dirk bit his lip and contained his laughter at Jake's choice of word paired with his own. Jake seemed to catch on and instantly reddened. "I didn't mean that! I mean...oh dear.... It wasn't mean to be salacious. That implication was.... I didn't mean your literal...not meaning anything bad about it either, it's quite.... Shit!"

"The fact that you didn't mean it only makes it funnier, really," Dirk told him, "although it's a shame, you lost your opportunity to claim you were attempting to be ironic. But still very amusing."

"Stop inwardly laughing at my embarrassment, you...you..." he scrambled for a word that couldn't be turned around on him - 'fucker' certainly wouldn't work, for instance. "...You cad!" he finished.

"Would you prefer I laughed outwardly?" Dirk chuckled and then broke into the threatened laughter.

Jake scowled at him. "You are not a nice person."

"I know," Dirk said softly, and turned back around, stalking off toward the bathroom. His mood turned oddly and instantly serious despite his knowledge of the previous tone. He just couldn't control his thoughts sometimes. "Why the fuck do you even love me?"

Jake frowned at his back. "I don't actually know." He sighed. "Dirk..." He quickened his pace and latched onto Dirk's arm, surprising him. "Could you...stop trying to solve the mystery? Just accept it for what it is. You can really suck the romance out of things."

"Because our previous line of conversation was so romantic." Dirk would have rolled his eyes if his mood just now hadn't given Jake's words credence. After a moment, he added, "Thank you, though. I hope I haven't completely ruined things so we can no longer enjoy our shower?"

Jake smiled at him and wrapped his arms more around his body, giving him a full hug. "I think we can just about salvage it," he said, giving him a wink.

Dirk managed a smile back at him, and starting walking toward the bathroom again, rather slower with Jake attached to him so, but luckily they were about there already. Jake let go of him once inside and he turned the water on, waiting for it to adjust to an appropriate temperature before they both got inside.

It was certainly a close quarters space. There were a few knee and elbow bangs from trying to move around in there before Dirk grabbed both of Jake's arms and held them steadily. He just looked at him silently for a few moments, and Jake raised his eyebrows. "While our capacity for banging our limbs has certainly decreased this way, so has our ability to get clean, as was our intention, just the water pelting us will not be enough, you know."

"I'm well aware," Dirk replied, still staring intently at him.

Jake opened his mouth to speak again, but Dirk closed in, sealing it with a kiss.

"Mmmphff," Jake mumbled into his mouth before responding back, cautiously moving his arms to embrace his boyfriend, who loosened his grip on them to allow it.

Dirk gradually pulled apart and half turned, letting go of one arm, to reach carefully for the soap, which he then displayed to Jake.

Jake took it, but then started rubbing Dirk's skin instead of his own, to his surprise. He pulled back just a moment. "...Should I not...?"

Dirk shook his head. "No, it's fine. More than fine. Please continue."

Jake took up the task again, pulling himself closer as well and adding bunches of little kisses and nuzzles to the cleaning procedure.

"Mmm," Dirk let out pleasurably. "You're spoiling me now."

Jake made motions to turn him around, and Dirk complied. Then he closed in again and smiled against his upper back, kissing softly, then moving to his neck, bringing the soap to the area he just kissed. "Maybe I'd like you to think of me the next time you are taking one of your absurdly long showers by your lonesome. I can't imagine what takes up all that time as is."

Dirk partly wanted to complain that he hadn't even taken all that long since he moved here, but the sensations Jake was causing in him were too good right now, so he allowed it a pass. "You know you are also roping yourself into an expectation for any future showers we may be able to have," he said instead.

"That's alright." Although Jake paused with the words, then continued softly, "Though, perhaps I was also hoping you might feel inclined to return the favor."

"Mmm." Dirk turned around as Jake finished up with his backside and took the soap from him. "It won't be too boring if I do the same thing?" he asked.

"In this case, not at all!" Jake grinned as he spoke. "In fact, I'd be rather miffed if you did anything else, because I'd miss out. And also please don't try to one-up me." Dirk frowned, as that was just exactly what he'd been thinking of how to do. Jake knitted his brows. "You do enough better than me as is, it's nice when we have some things where we are equal at least. You don't have to be better than everyone at everything."

"You do some things better than me," Dirk tried to contest, but Jake gave him a look and he dropped it for now. That could be a conversation for another day. He really didn't want to ruin the mood again today by discussing Jake's personal problems. For now he just matched Jake's cleaning and kiss pattern, causing sighs of the more pleasant nature.

When that was finished, Dirk moved for his shampoo. Jake opened his mouth and made a hand motion as if to ask to do that as well, but then clammed up. Dirk was rather particular about his hair. Jake reached for his own, more generic stuff, hitting his elbow uncomfortably, like when they began.

Jake finished first, rinsing and then stepping out to allow Dirk to do so. He crossed his arms over his torso while he waited, rubbing his arms even though it was very far from cold out.

Jake was the first to step out when Dirk shut the water, grabbing towels for both of them and handing one over. Once they were dry, they headed to their respective rooms to retrieve clean clothing, then Jake met back with Dirk to strip the sheets and start the wash up.

Dirk then headed back to the bathroom to fix his hair. With no much else to do, Jake followed him, standing in the doorway to watch. Dirk glanced back at him. "Want to learn the secret, huh?"

Jake leaned himself back against the door frame. "Oh yes, I just can't help myself from being entranced by the mystery of how you make your hair strangely reminiscent of a Japanese animated character of some sort."

Dirk turned back to the mirror, smirking. "That was actually nicely facetious. There may be hope for you yet."

Not even halfway through, Jake parted from the door to approach Dirk and wrap his arms around him.

"What?" Dirk asked, although not unpleasantly.

"I'm bored," Jake told him, leaning into him more.

"You mean you aren't completely riveted by my hair regimen?" Dirk rolled his eyes, still visible since he had taken his shades off from before their encounter. "You should learn to be more patient."

"What's that?" Jake asked, although he laughed at himself. "You and your fancy cockamamie words, Dirk. 'Patient'. Psht." He removed one hand from around Dirk to wave it, as if pushing the thought of patience away.

Dirk raised an eyebrow at him through his reflection. "If the humor inherent to the suggestion that my words are more ridiculous than yours was intended, I applaud you. Bonus points for the particular word used to imply it."

Jake made a face at him in the mirror. "I'm still bored."

"Do I look like a fucking dancing monkey to you?" Dirk turned a bit to smack him lightly. "If you're that bored, go start up a game, I'll join you when I'm finished."

Jake nodded finally and detached himself, heading for the living room to fire up the console. Dirk looked after him with some regret, hoping it didn't sound like he was pushing him away. He recalled the last time gaming was suggested after being called boring and cringed. But Jake hadn't seemed chilly or hurt when he'd left, at least. He tried to go a bit faster to compensate now, at least, so he could promptly join Jake on the couch.

When he entered, he found Jake leaning back on the couch, lazily switching between the options with the controller. He looked over to Dirk and tossed the controller aside. "I'm not sure I feel like playing right now," he said, moving himself over to make room for the other boy.

Dirk planted himself beside him. "What do you feel like, then?" he asked.

"Well..." Jake lead, pushing closer so they were touching. "I did miss out on some choice cuddling earlier, I think now that we've gotten the cleaning out of the way, you should make that up to me."

"I think I could arrange that," Dirk assented, pushing them both down into a laying position on the couch, although the space was considerably smaller than his bed. "Would you like some kissing included in that too? It's a bonus package - no extra charge."

"Do you even need to friggin ask?" Jake laughed and took the initiative to kiss Dirk himself, curling their legs together.

When their lips parted again, they laid quietly together for a few moments.

"We'll do better next time," Dirk announced out of the blue.

"Hmm?" Jake blinked at him in confusion before it registered. "Oh, you mean the sex. It was still good."

"Yeah, I agree, but I mean.... Like, you laughed during," Dirk pointed out.

"Sorry!" Jake laughed again, now, even more nervously if possible. "I didn't mean anything bad by it, it just keep me from feeling too awfully awkward."

"But that's just what I mean," Dirk responded, continuing. "Eventually, it shouldn't feel awkward, it should just feel good."

"Don't stress so much about it," Jake told him, pulling his upper body in closer to him. "Just be with me."

Dirk nodded slightly and tried to relax, kissing Jake again smoothly, something he was far more talented at than their earlier activity. Just when he was really feeling into Jake again and less worried about things, a loud beeping noise came at them from the laundry and then had to disentangle themselves from each other in order to move the sheets to the dryer.

They switched positions when they returned, although the difference did not make for much change in activity. This continued until the dryer sounded off, at which point they cooperated in making the bed and then laid themselves back in the clean sheets, keeping the door open now in case Jake's mother made an early return, or otherwise so that they wouldn't have need to get up later.

When she did return, she came right up the stairs and into the door frame. They heard Jade also bounding into her own room. "Boys, you left your game on in the living room," she informed them.

"Oh, sorry," Jake apologized, sitting up.

Dirk got himself up after him. "We were going to play, but then Jake didn't feel like it."

Jake's mother gave them a smile that would normally qualify as 'knowing', except this time Dirk doubted how much knowledge it actually contained. "Alright, well, is it alright if I shut it off? Otherwise, come down and do it yourself," she told them.

"You can do it," Jake said, beaming at her and flopping himself back down.

She laughed and shook her head. "Well, maybe I'll play it, then," she said and winked at them, leaving to probably make due on that announcement.

Dirk sighed and rolled himself back down next to Jake. "Feel like a fugitive?"

Jake played his fingers up Dirk's chest. "Only if love is a crime."

"That is seriously the cheesiest f-"

But Jake cut him off with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that leaves comments, gives kudos or bookmarks me. You are all wonderful people.
> 
> Special thanks also to Bem (PrinceOfApart here on ao3), who has been a kind of beta for me through most of this now, and who is also an awesome rp partner and friend, and I may have borrowed some things from her for this chapter (specifically the "you love it" and "nerd" responses, and some other, more vague ideas). 


	20. First Rule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Sorry I've been getting into this pattern of "Oh, I should write more often, and not just on days I don't have work", but then it ends up at "Oh shit, I just had a day off and I wasted it watching anime." And that's in addition to still not writing on work days. So then it takes me even longer. I feel bad.
> 
> But here we are! I thankfully had a bit of an inspiration kick. Thanks again. c:
> 
> Also, I have reached 200 kudos! Wow that is awesome! Thank you to all you beautiful people that read this, give kudos or comments. I will give you all virtual hugs. \^w^/

"So there was something else you wanted at the mall today?" Jake asked from the driver's seat, looking over at Dirk as he finished the question to be met only by Dirk's scowl, reminding him to put his eyes back on the road.

When he had done so, albeit with a slight annoyed frown, Dirk answered, "Yeah. Well, maybe. Remember when I said there was an idea I was thinking of for something to do when we were bored?"

Jake knitted his eyebrows together, thinking altogether too hard for such a simple question, then he blushed. "You weren't thinking of.... Golly, Dirk, I don't if they sell..." His mind caught a little bit more up with himself and settled on confused. "Wait...what?"

Jake obviously did not remember that Dirk had said anything at all before being interrupted by the idea of sex. He might have been offended under other circumstances, but since the distraction involved him intimately, he decided that cancelled it out and then some.

"It's nothing like that," Dirk explained. "It's actually an idea I had before you brought sex up, but we were understandably derailed from conversing further on the topic."

"Ah." Jake smiled out of pure embarrassment. He continued in a tone similar to a forced laugh, "So, what was the idea, then?"

"I want to make videos," Dirk stated first before explaining further, actually seeing on Jake's face the moment his mind went to the gutter again, nearly laughing at it. If he claimed his phrasing of that right then wasn't pre-planned for that exact reaction, he'd be a liar. "Thank you for that face, Jake, really, but not like that." He watched the embarrassment return before continuing, "More like.... Have you ever seen Epic Meal Time? Or Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time, I actually like those ones better."

"Oh...um..." The light bulb went on in Jake's head. "Oh! Didn't you link one of those to me once?"

"Yeah. Anyway, sort of something along those lines, but for sewing," Dirk concluded, but Jake still had a confused expression. "You know, like... I'm going to cut this fabric with my SWORD, or... Thimbles? Real men bleed. That sort of thing."

Jake's mouth slanted to one side and his eyebrows met inward again. "I'm not so sure about the bleeding bit," he said.

"It's a joke, Jake," Dirk reassured. "Anyway, I'll be the one doing everything, since sewing is my thing. I just need some assistance with some things, like the recording."

"Well, I'm not entirely certain I'd be the best person for the job, but I guess...since I'm around...if you really want to..."

Dirk could tell that Jake was still uncertain about the whole thing and wondered a bit if he should have even bothered, dragging Jake into something that would mostly be about his own interests. Also, maybe, just maybe, designed as a counter measure to his father somehow. Like how he could imagine his dad thinking, now that he knew, that he should have taken the clue from his 'womanly' interest, or something, even though he hadn't taken it as such at the time. It was a sort of violent urge to prove him wrong even though it was something he'd probably never see. His own private 'take that' that somehow felt satisfying deep in his guts.

"Nah," he told Jake, hiding a well of disappointment pooling in his abdomen. "Forget it, it's not important at all. Let's just get the game, maybe look around at some movies, then get back home."

The original intent of this little mall trip was to purchase a video game that was just released. They would have that to occupy them for awhile, anyway. It's not like they needed his stupid, self-indulgent idea anyway. He regretted even opening his mouth about it now. Things like this should not be important. And they weren't important, until they slipped from his grasp and entered the realm of unlikelihoods or impossibilities, and then they suddenly seemed of tremendous value to him, and in the realization of this personal idiocy, he hated himself for it.

Jake's hands tightened on the steering wheel, turning the skin around his knuckles a lighter color. He released them with a sigh as the local mall came into view.

"We're here," Jake announced unnecessarily, and Dirk's own mood dissipated for the moment, trying to recapture the feeling that he'd actually really wanted to play this game.

After Jake had found a place to park and they'd both climbed out of the vehicle, they headed inside, Dirk first hesitantly reaching for Jake's hand before grasping it firmly, reminding himself public did not matter so much anymore. In any case, his grip on Jake's hand proved useful for not losing him to the various distractions of aisle vendors, and weaving between slower moving mall patrons.

Although Jake assailed him with various complaints of "Why do you need to walk so friggin fast?" and "But they had a helicopter!", he didn't seem to be in a sour mood because of it, and still smiled at Dirk when he finally stopped as they entered the store.

"First thing's first," Dirk said as he began walking again, Jake still in hand, but with a lighter grip, heading to grab the game they had come in for. After they acquired a copy, they headed more leisurely through the store aisles, going toward movies.

Dirk spotted something as they passed by and stopped abruptly, causing Jake's hand to slip from his as the other boy made a few more steps beyond his unexpected halt. "Yes. Hell yes," came Dirk's voice, and he picked up a particular movie into his now free hands. "Hell fucking yes." He brandished the movie toward Jake.

"Oh!" Jake exclaimed in recognition.

"You don't have this one, do you?" Dirk asked him. "Have you seen it?"

Jake had seen so many movies Dirk wondered sometimes if he had somehow bent the fabric of space-time in order to fit them all in. But Jake shook his head. "I haven't yet, but it's been on my list. You like it?"

"Fuck. Yes," Dirk answered immediately. "Dude, this is basically my favorite movie ever. There's great action, and then it's also not action just for action's sake. The plot is really fucking engaging and actually challenges you to puzzle it out or else have your mind blown."

"Sounds like an...experience," Jake said carefully, but then his voice cheered. "Well, if you say it's great, I'll take your word for it. I'm sure I'll enjoy it tremendously."

Dirk had no doubts that Jake would enjoy the film as he also enjoyed every movie he'd seen ever. But he decided not to comment on that this time. "Plus, it has lots of half naked men, which is always a plus-"

He was about to add something along the lines of comparison to Jake's blue girls, but cut himself off, hearing something behind him while also noticing an Expression that Jake was having, aimed toward the source of that sound. He turned himself and froze in place from what he saw.

His parents.

Or rather, just his mother was there now, looking between Dirk and the retreating figure of his father down the aisle, then she chased after him as he turned down another, calling something about needing to find Dave before they left.

Fuck.

Oh crap, oh crap, shit, shit, fuck.

Dirk dropped the movie back and curled his hands into fists, turning in the opposite direction wordlessly. He remembered that he used to watch that movie with his dad. It had been a bonding point of sorts. Had he followed his voice over to the aisle because of it or was it just a coincidence? What had been his intentions if he had? Could they have actually possibly had a civilized conversation again? A knot formed in his stomach and he felt like he might vomit.

Jake picked the movie back up from where Dirk had shoved it and put it under the game in his hands. He then followed Dirk's retreating figure down the aisle just as Dirk's mother had followed his father, a bundle of nerves and concern.

"Um...hey..." he ventured as he caught up, "I have an idea! Or...no...I mean...I've made a decision!"

Dirk said nothing in response, just standing rather darkly in the back of the store and breathing unevenly. Many thoughts competed in the race in his head. Currently in the lead was how long he'd have to wait in order to not encounter his parents at the register or in front of the store followed by a very close line of various swear words and emotions and memories and possibilities that were all winked out from the utterance of one fateful sentence.

"We should do your epic sewing video thing!" the amount of enthusiasm forced into the sentence was nearly painful to hear. "I've decided that it actually sounds like...the bee's knees! Let's do it!"

Dirk looked at him evenly, trying to assess this new tactic. "You're lying," he stated plainly. "Don't pity me."

"I'm not. And I'm not!" Jake protested despite evidence to the contrary. "Is it so terribly far-fetched that I just genuinely want to and think it would be fun to do? Together? ...With you?"

"Yeah, kind of," Dirk answered, although the dark gloom surrounding him lessened somewhat.

Jake huffed and gritted his teeth, giving Dirk a sort of over the top determined expression. "Believe me, Dirk! Stop being such a fucking dick prince and just agree with me already! Are you so averse to happiness?"

Dirk's mouth opened and then closed, leaving them in silence for a few moments before he spoke again, "You are being very stubborn."

"That's right," Jake agreed, maintaining the expression on his face to the point where it was almost comical. "You can not even hope to beat me in a stubborn-off. I am simply there best there is."

There was a time when Dirk might have told him he could give him a run for his money, but he'd been in this relationship long enough to know that in the rarer instances where Jake's mind was made up, it was very hard to win by butting heads with him. Figuratively speaking, of course. Literally speaking, they'd only butted heads once and it was Jake's doing. And they'd ended up kissing. Accidentally.

Sometimes when Dirk looked back on how their relationship had started he wondered how they ever deluded themselves into thinking it would go smoothly. But then Jake's hopeful and certain positivity about things could be a stand-in for stubbornness as well.

So Dirk just laughed, shaking off the more worrisome edge to his thoughts and finally ungripping his hands and rubbing out the little crescent moon shapes that even nails as short as his could leave if dug in hard enough.

"Okay," he assented quietly, nearly inaudibly, then louder, "...Okay. There's some stuff I need."

"Excellent." Jake brightened right back up. "We just need to pay for these and then you can lead me off wherever you need." Then he paused, tilting his head and Dirk's expression, which had slightly worsened again. "There is no need to worry. I have you covered here. I can lead the way to the register, eyes and ears pricked for any sign of trouble. Like a scout."

Dirk was about to protest, but allowed it, deciding that it actually calmed him down in an odd way. And Jake did exactly as advertised...perhaps too much like he said, taking Dirk's hand and leading him down the aisles, then peering around them with his hand to his forehead, searching for signs of danger and continuing when none were found. Dirk nearly laughed at this absurd show of...affection? What emotion even caused his ridiculous boyfriend to do such a thing?

He didn't know, but he somehow found it endearing nonetheless. And so he found his mood lightening as they paid for the items and his thoughts turning to what his first episode would be as he lead Jake down to the craft store.


	21. Comment, Rate, Subscribe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. It has been so long since I updated this! I hope no one gave up on me!
> 
> *hugs readers - unless you don't like hugs, then I give you a very nice smile and a thumbs up*
> 
> Anyways, it feels like ages ago, but I did do a short fanfiction based in (the future of) this universe that I only posted on tumblr, can be found here --> http://katanahime.tumblr.com/post/61471508235/so-since-i-dont-already-have-enough-to-write It's primarily DaveJade, though, so if you don't like that pairing, you can totally ignore that. It was something I was literally planning to write as a side story to keep other pairings out of this fic when I got around to that time period for this, but I got really super impatient because that is so far away (it's like 7 years in the future from this point of the story). Which also means that that fic is basically a huge, gigantic spoiler. Although, I may not actually continue this fic all the way until there (I've been thinking of breaking at some point and making a sequel instead).
> 
> I also started another DirkJake-centric fic called the Uranian Key which you can find here on ao3. And some other stuff. I'm basically all over the place and I apologize for that.
> 
> Anyway! Fic. I hope you enjoy. Sorry for the long wait.

When Jake's mom returned home one afternoon in mid-August, Dirk had a piece of cloth clutched between his teeth. Jake held an end of it like a bull fighter, and Jade manned the camera.

Dirk dropped the fabric from his mouth as he noticed her, causing Jade to squint at the camera. "Why did you-" she started to say, when her mother knocked on the archway and she turned around. "Oh. Hi Mom!"

"I didn't mean to interrupt," their mother spoke a bit apologetically.

"It's no problem," Dirk said, flapping the fabric in a wave, causing Jake to release it, and then pulling it toward himself in a bundle. "We were just doing some retakes. I got all the shots I wanted already."

Jade stopped the recording at those words and handed the camera over to Dirk before starting off toward the stairs, only stopping when the word "Wait," escaped her mother's mouth.

"In that case," the woman continued, leaning against the wall while the three kids stared at her, "why don't we get some back to school shopping done." Jake's groan came before she even finished the sentence.

"Right now?" he complained, visibly irritated.

His mother looked at her watch. "Well, perhaps after supper."

Dirk didn't know what to say. As welcome as he normally felt in this home, with this family, this sort of thing gave him vague feelings of being an intruder. He wasn't sure if he was welcome or not, and furthermore, wasn't sure if he even wanted to be welcome. On one hand, he didn't want to loose what little grasp of the concept of home and family that he'd gained in the past few months, on the other, he didn't want to feel like a burden on them.

"Well, I...uh..." Dirk hesitated before severing the ties in his mind, somewhat regretfully. "I need to edit this thing anyway, so I'll keep myself busy while you're out." More than anything, he did not want to be pitied. He had come to this house comfortably because he knew he was always welcome here anyway, but even if he knew that housing him came with it's own expenses, there were some lines he felt uncomfortable to cross. Jake's mom was generous and she'd feel bad to not invite him, so it was better to let her know he was totally okay with that.

"Nonsense."

Dirk wasn't even through attempting to convince himself why what he did was the right idea when her word cut him right the fuck off and caused him to look up sharply. He wasn't even aware until that moment that he'd even looked down.

Her eyes were sharp and focused, so that Dirk felt like his shades could no longer hide him, but at the same time, he could not look away.

"When I took you in, I took on a responsibility," she told him steadily. "And I did so with the full knowledge of what that responsibility might entail, to which buying you new things for school is barely a scratch. I absolutely will not buy new things for Jake and Jade and leave you..." Here she looked at the bottom of his pants. "Well, taking out a hemstitch only gets you so far. Do you understand?"

Dirk was silent, in a sort of awed shock before her. He hadn't understood before. He now realized he was only beginning to understand. She was waiting for a response though, so he nodded.

"Mama bear takes care of all of her cubs," Jade said with a smile and a half-laugh.

Her mother looked over to her with a barely concealed grin. "That's right. Now, are we settled?"

"Well..." Jake wore a little half-frown as the attention turned to him. He looked up and away, toward a corner of the living room. "Dirk did say he needed to edit. Might'nt it be more prudent to go tomorrow instead? We'll have more time, too, since you have off on Saturdays and all."

She nodded and waved him off. "Fine. Tomorrow then. After lunch," she conceded. "But I better not hear any excuses then. We are going, you hear me?"

"Yes, Mom," Jake responded, sounding somewhat defeated, despite the supposed victory. He then trumped off to the stairs, effectively ending their impromptu family meeting. He was quickly passed by Jade, but Dirk lingered by his side, giving him a puzzled and somewhat confused expression.

Jake sighed into a shrug and walked a bit faster, joining Dirk in his room and perching himself on the bed.

Dirk placed the camera on his desk, then just tossed the fabric to the side. It wasn't the only thing on the floor - over the past month the room became gradually littered with bizarre puppets that Dirk had made. The tossed cloth had the good decency to land over one that happened to be facing ass to the air, although Dirk paid it no mind. He sat at his computer chair and opened his laptop up before craning back to view Jake.

"You alright there?" he asked his disgruntled boyfriend.

"I don't want to even think about school!" Jake let out in an exasperated breath. "Or do anything remotely related to going back to school. Or talk about doing such things."

"Okay, so while I feel you on the whole school being a fucking drag thing, it's possible you are being just a tad bit extreme here," Dirk commented. "Care to explain, or shall I guess?"

"Like you could talk about it being a drag, school is easy for you," Jake snapped before shaking his head and quickly continuing before Dirk could get angry. "No! I'm sorry. I know.... I'm not being reasonable. And it is different this year. I..." He slipped off the bed and then kind of knee crawled his way over to Dirk, leaning onto him once he'd arrived, like he'd run out of battery power.

"You?" Dirk prompted him further.

"I'll miss things," Jake said quietly.

"Things," Dirk repeated, his lips threatening to twitch upward into a teasing smirk.

"Okay, so," Jake's face reddened a bit as he spoke, "like, for instance, perhaps the last time we had..." his voice lowered, shifting his gaze quickly to the open door, "an encounter, was the actual last time and we didn't even know it. What if we don't get another chance before school? Shouldn't it have been more special? Not that it wasn't...special, but you know."

The two of them had just gotten to the point where they felt they'd graduated to kind of maybe actually knowing what they were doing with the whole sex thing. And Jake was definitely not alone with not wanting it to be the end.

Dirk sighed and curled his fingers in Jake's hair. "I know. But we've never really had much choice in the matter." Their entire sex lives thus far were structured around Jade going to a friend's house on a day their mother had work. Something frustratingly infrequent enough without school throwing the ax in it.

Jake just made a noise in further complaint and pulled himself up into Dirk's lap.

"Now I can't see," Dirk complained, but he lacked much seriousness in the words.

"You weren't editing anyway, you were looking at me," Jake said offhandedly before grabbing Dirk's mouse and navigating to his browser. "Let's see if we got any more comments or such." Dirk peeked around and rested his chin on Jake's shoulder.

Jake paused right under the video and tilted his head slightly, knocking into Dirk's lightly. He squinted at the screen in front of him. "...Do we know her?" he asked.

Dirk leaned forward, bending Jake a bit uncomfortably to read the comment. He definitely didn't recognize the username, but the person had something to say about how much she'd like it if they were kissing.

Dirk frowned very slightly. "No," he said flatly. "It's just like a law of the internet. Any time you have two cute guys doing something together in practically any capacity, there will be a girl on the internet that will fantasize about them kissing. Absolute fact."

Jake leaned slightly to the side and craned to get a view of Dirk, who remained impassive. "You think I'm cute?" he asked.

Dirk raised his eyebrows and eyed him through the sides of his shades. "Jake.... That's what you got out of that?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "No," he countered. "Obviously, that seems a tad bit intrusive, if we are talking about real life folks, that is."

"To put it lightly," Dirk agreed and trailed his eyes back to the screen. His gaze locked on another comment that was in direct reply to the girl. "And then there's this guy."

Jake straightened himself back out, forcing Dirk to lean backward onto the back of the chair. Dirk continued speaking as he read, "It would be one thing to tell her to just stay out of our business. But no, he has to go on to tell her how stupid she is and that we obviously are just friends and basically act like he knows everything all while under the guise of 'defending' us. As if someone that does any kind of macho shtick couldn't possibly be into guys. Like-" _Like my dad_ , he didn't say.

"Like?"

"Forget it," Dirk said dismissively and reached an arm over to shut the laptop in front of Jake's nose. He made a movement with a leg, and Jake slid sideways off him.

"Weren't you going to edit?" Jake questioned.

"It can wait until after supper," Dirk replied in the same flat tone, leaning his head back on the chair. He tried to imagine a big eraser getting rid of all of his thoughts, but it did more to highlight them instead.

A silence hung in the room for a short time while Jake just stared at him. "Why do you do that?" Jake finally asked.

Dirk's head turned to him, still against the chair back, but rolled over to the side. "Do what?"

"Shut down when something obviously upsets you."

Dirk sat up at that and turned his whole body to face Jake, who crossed his arms in nervous defiance.

Jake continued, "You aren't going to tell me that you're not upset, are you?"

Dirk sighed. There was something of a part of him that wanted to say it was better when Jake had questioned such assertions, but it really wasn't the truth. He'd struggled enough for the boy to pick up on cues to his feelings without being outright stated and he didn't want to encourage him to retreat back to that state.

"Fine, I'm upset," he admitted. "But it's stupid and it doesn't matter."

"If it upsets you, it matters," Jake asserted and then added more quietly, "at least to me."

Dirk got up and crossed the room, starting to pick up the little plush puppets strewn around. Less from any desire to clean and more from a need to busy himself with something.

He felt Jake's eyes follow him. "We could correct them, it would only take a moment."

Dirk stood back up from a squat, puppet in hand and turned his head back Jake's way. "Fuck no," he said rather sharply. Jake backed up one step and Dirk turned his head back away and down. "I don't want any attention."

Jake's expression turned skeptical. " _You_ don't want attention?"

Dirk sighed once more and then threw the puppet he was holding across the room, startling Jake into a jump, even though it passed a few feet away from him.

"Okay, that was a bullshit way of putting it. I want attention. I want it for things that I accomplish or dumb shit that I do or come up with," Dirk explained. "But I don't want it for who I am. And if I correct that guy, that's what we're going to get. Negative attention from dumb shits like him and positive attention from people that think they are being supportive. But I don't want any of it." He strode the short distance to the bed and collapsed backward on it. "I just wish for once that who I happen to be attracted to didn't have to be such a federal fucking issue. Like, why does it even have to be a thing?"

Jake just quietly walked over and laid himself next to him. He grabbed his boyfriend's hand on the comforter, and just smiled at him softly.

Dirk shot him a glance and then softened somewhat. "Sorry for going off like that," he said.

Jake shook his head and scuttled closer. "Not at all! I actually kind of wish you would more often. Maybe you'd feel better."

Dirk made a sort of "keh" noise from between his teeth.

"I know you don't like showing them terribly much, but having emotions doesn't make you vulnerable, Dirk. It just makes you human." Jake propped himself up on one arm and winked. "Robots aren't all that great." A hint of humor slipped into his voice at the end, and Dirk finally gave a slight trace of a smile.

"So what do you say? You want to start that friggin editing now?" Jake asked him.

"...Can we just stay here for awhile?"

Jake closed his eyes briefly, like a slow blink and wrapped an arm across him with a warm smile. "Sure."


	22. Because Because Because Because

The next day, Dirk was awoken by the sound of gunfire.

A common enough sound in this household, but generally not on Saturday mornings. It continued to crack the air as he made himself presentable enough to go downstairs and greet whomever might be there.

The shooter turned out to be Jake, undoubtedly working off some negative energy accrued from being forced to think about school, and he did seem somewhat more jovial when he came back inside.

But it was only so long before they were all packed in the car to go off to the mall and his mood somewhat dimmed again. Dirk watched his oddly silent boyfriend out of the corner of his eye and vaguely imagined him as a convicted man being bused off to prison. He had a mental toss-up between sympathy and amusement.

When they arrived, Jake grabbed his hand rather tightly, but Dirk let it pass without comment. He tried to give a reassuring squeeze of sorts, but wasn't sure if the message got through.

Jake kicked the ground. "I don't really need new stuff anyway," he said, although there wasn't much argument to be had at this point. "It's not like Dirk, where trousers look funny if you grow out of them, I wear shorts all the time."

Dirk had to stop himself from going too far with the mental image of Jake's shorts getting progressively shorter on him. This wasn't the place. He did sing "Who wears short shorts?" quietly under his breath, though, and Jake yanked his arm pretty hard in retaliation.

Jake's mom turned back to give him a once-over. "Most of your clothes are permanently tinted the color of grass stain," she countered. "All the laundry products in the world only do so much after awhile."

"But they're only going to get stained t-" he started, but she cut him off with a look.

"Honey, I love you dearly, but you need new clothes," she said firmly. "And maybe you should consider getting a couple of pairs of pants for the winter. I get a bit concerned when it's in the 40's and you have nothing on your legs."

"I can tough it out!" Jake asserted. "If Dirk can wear something all the way down to his ankles when it's 110, I think I can handle shorts in winter where it doesn't even get to friggin freezing."

His mother sighed. "If only the both of you would meet somewhere in the middle."

"No," Dirk spoke up. "You see, it's resistance to the elements. I have a 25% resistance to fire, and Jake has 25% resistance to ice. That makes us a much better asset to the party than otherwise. These are some basic RPG reasoning skills here." He shook his head in mock-disappointment. "Beg your pardon, ma'am, but I thought you weren't a noob."

She gave him a half smile and a glance that was of the sort that one got when they were told they were being a little shit. She completed it by rolling her eyes. "Whatever will I do with you boys?" With that, she turned back away from them and led the small group into the store. "I'm going to go with Jade, can I trust you two to stay on task?" she asked them somewhat skeptically.

"No," Jake replied while making a face. "Obviously, Dirk and myself are going to totally make out in the middle of public out of the friggin blue, even though all clues have pointed to that making us uncomfortable. Or no, wait! We'll play laser tag! Too bad we forgot the fucking guns, that would have been great. Darn."

His mother eyed him with an expression between amusement and exasperation. Then she reached out to scruff his hair a bit. "Alright, I get the point. Text if you need me or if you finish before us." She made a motion as if to kiss him on the cheek, then hesitated as if struck by the notion that it might be embarrassing for him, but then did it anyway.

It was hard to tell if Jake was actually bothered by it at all, what with his face already locked onto slightly disgruntled.

And so they split up, the boys striking off toward their section.

"So we're off," Jake said mildly.

"To see the wizard?" Dirk asked, a very slight smirk curling on his expression and looking at Jake, trying to get some more familiar response from him.

"Unfortunately, no," Jake replied, looking up toward the ceiling for a few steps before finally looking back at Dirk. "Although, if you ask me, that particular wizard was a two-bit hack, anyway." A thought struck him. "However...speaking of wizards. Roxy might actually be helpful with the whole shopping thing, don't you think?"

Dirk put a hand up. "No," he said simply.

Jake's expression finally changed, moving to confused. "Huh? Whyever not? She'd love-"

"Yeah, she'd love it too much," Dirk cut him off. "And then she'd want to shop for herself, and we'd have to give her opinions." He said it as if he were talking about some horrible disease.

Jake laughed. "That's not too bad. I mean, I don't know about my ability to give any useful advice, but I'm sure whatever she'd pick out for herself would look just dandy."

They reached the appropriate section as he spoke, and for a moment, Dirk searched through a pant stack. "Yeah, you would say that," he commented without much though while checking the size numbers.

Jake tilted his head, moving a bit further in. "What does that even imply?"

Dirk paused, for once in a moment where he was forced to admit that he wasn't totally clear about something he said himself. "I don't know. I guess that what you said fits with your character. Which is kind of obvious. Since you, you know, said it." He frowned, feeling like his IQ dropped suddenly and unexpectedly.

Jake just flashed him a grin.

"What are you smiling at?" Dirk asked him, still frowning.

"You messed up."

"Gee, thanks. I-"

"No, I mean." Jake searched for a less mean-sounding explanation. "I mess up all the time. I don't see you do that a whole heck of a lot. I don't think it's bad. It's refreshing."

Dirk rolled his eyes and moved away from the current stack to look at something else. "If you say-"

There was a sound of a throat clearing which stopped him. Followed by a very familiar voice saying, "Dirk?"

Dirk turned and scanned quickly for the owner of the voice, Jake quickly following his gaze as well, and resting between wheels of shirts near the changing room across the way.

"Dave. Hey, little bro," Dirk managed to say once the surprise cleared. First in that he just plain hadn't expected to see Dave here, and second in that if he was here, at least one of his parents had to be as well.

Dave made his way toward him, dropping anything he had down unceremoniously on a display table and gave Dirk a very quick hug before pulling away and crossing his arms, as if it didn't happen.

Dirk gave him a pat on his shoulder, then asked, "Who's with you?"

"Mom," Dave answered immediately, to Dirk's moderate relief. "Dad was getting some other things, and then we're supposed to meet in the food court."

As if summoned by the mention, their mom's voice rang out before Dirk had a chance to ask Dave anything further. "Dave! Honey, why don't you also try-" Her voice cut off as she came into sight of them and she dropped what she was holding to the ground.

"I'm beginning to feel like a freak show," Dirk muttered under his breath and sighed. He strode forward to pick up what she'd dropped, then stepped back and held it out to her.

Her gaze went to the offering, but she made no response.

"...Should I just give it to Dave?" he asked, looking back to the other two who were watching silently.

She grabbed it away while his face was turned and before he could completely turn back, she hugged him. Excruciatingly tightly.

"I need to breathe," Dirk reminded her, and she loosened somewhat, but hung on awhile longer before straightening herself out and then looking him up and down.

Dirk hadn't seen much of even Dave all summer. His father must not have thought much of their however brief encounter at the mall back when he and Jake were looking at movies. It seemed that more regulations about visits were put in place after that point. So the last Dirk had seen of his mother had been in that brief moment.

When she'd finished examining him, she looked over his shoulder at the clothing behind then back to him. "You're getting clothes for school?" she asked and he nodded.

Her eyebrows creased together and then Dirk noticed Jake's mother come toward them at a trot. He shot a look behind him to meet Jake's expression. He must have summoned her earlier when they had their momentary stand-off.

"I...I should pay for them," Mrs. Strider was saying, something like guilt and sadness on her face.

"Without your husband finding out?" Jake's mom said from behind her, startling her again, this time making her jump slightly, her hand flying to her heart.

Once she had calmed herself, she responded, "I can deal with that later."

"Can you?"

"It's the least I could do."

Jake's mom shook her head and came around, looking briefly at Dirk before staring straight in his mother's eyes. "I took him from you," she said seriously. "I take full responsibility as well."

"Oh will you both stop it?" Dirk snapped. "I'm right here. It was me. I left. I left because of Dad. Now stop talking as if something petty like paying for my goddamn clothes means anything for your guilt or for some weird-ass payment for the privilege of my presence." He huffed, releasing his fingers which he hadn't realized had balled up tightly. "Why would you argue about that when I'm standing right here?"

They both looked at him silently for a moment, and Dirk wondered if he'd be given the scorn that usually accompanied a teenager berating adults. But it didn't come. The moment passed.

"Well," Jake's mother broke the silence. "I left Jade over in the girls' section, so I should check in. As long as everyone's okay." She gave a meaningful look to Dirk.

"Yeah," he replied.

She gave a soft smile and one last assuring glance before walking away.

Dirk's mother smiled just a bit. "So, since you are so close to where Dave is looking, I could..."

Dirk searched for a response as she trailed off. "Well...uh...I guess. I mean, we're really okay by ourselves."

"Well, it's not like I need any help, either," Dave commented, picking his pile back up from where he'd hauled it earlier.

Dirk looked to Jake, who had kind of distanced himself after summoning his mother. His awkwardness was obvious. The thought occurred that Dirk's mother had not spoken a word to Jake since the day they were caught. He noticed Dirk's glance and gave a somewhat strained smile.

His mother followed his extended glance and her face mixed with confusion, guilt and uncertainty. She stepped toward the lone figure of Jake, making him back away a step before he stopped himself.

She paused in her steps a few feet from him, giving him a studying glance before taking just a few more steps. "I'm sorry," she told him, hanging her head a bit.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" Jake asked her, somewhat less awkward, but a lot more confused.

"I've been treating you like a stranger ever since...what happened," she explained. "But you're not. We've known you for years now. I used to think-" She collected herself more before continuing. "I used to think that you were almost a part of our family, like I suppose Dirk had also become like a part of yours. Like our families were nearly one big one through our children. And yet...that day I- I felt suddenly like you weren't the nice boy that I knew, that you would do that." She paused, and Jake stayed silent, not at all knowing what to say.

"But I've had a lot of time to think," she continued, taking a breath. "And if I can still love Dirk, and I do, then I can still think you are that same wonderful boy I've known all this time. And I also think that... Well, if Dirk absolutely has to like another boy, I guess, I'm glad it was you."

She seemed to wait for a response.

It was a little hard to ignore all of the obvious inlaid homophobia in her remarks, but it was a step at least.

"Um, thanks?" he finally came out with.

She took this as enough of a response to hug him, although not as tightly as she had Dirk.

"I'll give that 3 out of 5 hats," Dave commented when it was over. "Touching, but next time try not to imply that you wish he was a girl."

His mother walked over to him quickly and smacked him lightly with the piece of clothing she was still carrying for him. "Dave," she warned.

He grumbled a bit, but complied to the added clothing, and then she set herself to helping Dirk and Jake, with perhaps a bit more gusto than was necessary.

They found some peace in the changing room, although Dirk's mother had, rather awkwardly, ordered them to go into separate stalls.

Dirk heard a knock on the wall from the adjacent one Jake was in while he was pulling a pant leg on. He knocked back in response, then heard Jake's voice.

"So, there's hope?"

Dirk paused a moment at the question, the true answer to that seemed loaded and complicated and filled with a million other questions itself.

"Maybe," he answered before Jake would think he didn't hear him.

Dirk felt he could actually sense Jake's smile on the other side, even though he couldn't see his face at all.

"Maybe we don't need a wizard after all," Jake told him, and Dirk found himself smiling, oddly, privately, although perhaps Jake, like himself, could tell from the other side.

Then Dirk said it again, although the added warmth to it made it a completely different answer to Jake's ears. "Maybe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Dirk was giving himself and Jake too much credit with the 25% resistance thing. It's really more like 10%. The ladies probably realized this too late in a spirit of the stairway moment and realized that they could have zinged him so hard. Jade will maybe have kept the idea in her head so she can bring it up some day later, when they least expect it.
> 
> Meanwhile, I almost forgot that I wanted to say that, because I wrote that part way earlier in the week.
> 
> On a completely separate note...
> 
> Last week I wrote in the nplhome tag on tumblr asking if anyone else tracked it, and about some stuff about possibly writing some stuff about background info or stuff that didn't make it into the fic, or some other stuff about it. I wanted to know if a) there was any interest in that and b) if I could just tag it nplhome and not have to bother the DirkJake tag. Unfortunately, my tag seems to hate me a bit, because some of my posts, including that one, keep disappearing from it, even though I totally tagged it first and it was definitely in the tag when I posted it. You can still find my post with katanahime.tumblr.com/tagged/nplhome
> 
> In any case, if you have an opinion about this, I would love to hear from you, here or katanahime.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> I would also love to hear from you even if you don't have an opinion on that, because if you love this fic, I love you and you should talk to me because I'm definitely not intimidating, okay?


	23. Breaking Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount I am sorry for not updating for an unbelievable length of time can hardly be expressed in words. Here's hoping you guys haven't given up on me!
> 
> This wasn't my original intention for this chapter, and in fact I have a half-written chapter which was supposed to be 23 but will now be 24. But after a lot of thinking, I wanted to put this one in here and in exactly this place.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! (And that I haven't gotten so rusty that I'm completely off my game).

There was one more day before school started. Well, one more day plus whatever remained of the night before which, with the sun already completely over the horizon, was quickly coming to a close.

There was a figure out on the front porch, illuminated by the light there and easily seen through the living room window by someone sitting in the darkness - the only light inside being the glow of the television.

Dirk opened the door to an extremely startled Jane, her yelp of surprise muffled behind her hand.

"Scared I was Jake?" Dirk asked, giving her an assessing once-over.

Jane ignored the question and instead asked one of her own, "How did you know I was here?"

Dirk leaned out of the door-frame and pointed to the offending window. "Could see you through there." He noted her tensing and added, "Don't worry, I was the only one there."

She re-relaxed and he came out of the door fully, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him before leaning back against it and addressing her. "How can I help you?"

Jane looked back to the window again before returning her gaze to Dirk. "Where is Jake anyway? He really wasn't with you?"

Dirk shook his head. "He's up in his room," he answered. "Dude needs his space. Don't worry about it, it's a mutually understood arrangement."

A moment of silence passed between them, filled by the sounds of night insects before Dirk spoke again, "Well, if I can't help you, maybe you can help me?"

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I'd like to enlist the assistance of Detective Crocker," Dirk explained, looking off to the side. "You see, I have this friend. She's a totally awesome friend, but we had this period when we had this awkward wall between us due to feelings she had for my boyfriend. Anyway, we cleared it all up and we're totally rad friends again. But she still won't speak to my boyfriend in private and she won't hang out with the two of us unless another mutual friend of ours is there too." He paused and looked back at Jane before finishing, "And now she's hanging outside the house with seemingly no intention to enter. I was wondering if you could put some of your sleuthing skills to use and figure out for me what the hell's up with that."

"Alright Mr. Smartypants," Jane huffed. "Is that your way of telling me you've got me all figured out?"

"I don't know," Dirk answered, "some points I think are quite the opposite, you tell me?"

She sighed and turned, leaning herself up against wall beside him. "It's still awkward, really, isn't it?"

"Mm."

She stared off into the distance, looking up at what stars could be seen past the trees and despite the glow of streetlights. "I want to clear the air with him, tell him everything so I don't feel like there's this unfinished _thing_ holding me back. But I also don't want to seem like I'm trying to get in between you two or make things complicated for you."

Dirk laughed. Jane gave him a pointed and somewhat offended look and he stopped.

"Sorry," he said, then looked up at the house as though he could somehow observe Jake's bedroom through several layers of wall. "There was a time that I would have been...totally fucking paranoid. Like, any of the months between starting this with him and me ending up here, I would have been almost certain that him finding out that you liked him too would have made him drop me like a rock. After I came here, and with what we put up with in school and he stuck through, a lot of that negative feeling went away, but there was still this nagging itch of paranoia at the back of my mind like maybe he felt obligated."

He stepped off from the door, his back to Jane as he continued to speak, "Then some shit came to light and I realized how dumb I was being. Like, for a really smart person, let's not get deluded for a second that I'm ever under the illusion that I'm actually stupid. But like, sometimes I can be so "smart" my more negative thought processes actually come back around to really fucking dumb. First of all, if I was ever right for a second that Jake never actually wanted me, I should never have been in this relationship. Secondly, it wasn't up to me to decide how Jake felt without asking him. Thirdly, if I'm not going to trust the dude then I don't deserve him. So I do trust him."

He turned again to face Jane and pulled his shades off his face, something that usually only happened in school because of rules, but now revealed striking sincerity in the gleam of the porch light. "And I trust you," he stated in accompaniment to this gesture. "So if you think spilling your guts to him will help take down The Great Wall of Awkward, one of the Seven Wonders of the Awkward World, by all fucking means, please."

He then placed the shades back on his face, the uncommon levels of honesty finally getting to him.

Jane was stunned. Completely taken aback by a veritable fountain of information about Dirk she had never even guessed at. "Well..." she stumbled for words to react with. "As long as that's a _metaphorical_ gut spilling, I..."

"Would you like to come in now?" Dirk asked her and reached for the door-handle as she stepped away from the wall.

"Actually..." Jane's voice hesitated as her mind worked through what she wanted to do, "...no."

"No?" Dirk's eyebrows raised high above his triangle frames.

"No," Jane affirmed, more certain with every moment. "I have a better idea."

"You do? Care to let me in on it?" His hand still hovered over the handle to let them inside.

"No, sorry," Jane stood her ground on the conversation while at the same time backing physically away from the door. "You don't get to know everything, buster!" Then she stuck her tongue out playfully, turned and hightailed it down the block toward her house.

Dirk tilted his head and looked after her as she ran, curiosity plaguing him as usual with anything he couldn't quite put his finger on, then he quietly slipped back inside as soon as she was out of sight, taking his shades off again so he could see in the darkness of the largely unlit downstairs.

He paused at the stairwell, looking up at the slits of light coming from underneath 3 bedroom doors. He stood there until one of them started to open and he quickly retreated back into the living room, not wanting to be caught doing...whatever it was that he was doing.

He sat on the sofa and stared a bit at the Pause screen of the game he'd been playing before changing the input to cable and mindlessly flipping channels. He saw Jade come down the stairs and into the kitchen out of the corner of his eye. She came back out with juice in her hand and approached him a bit.

"What are you watching?" she asked.

He shrugged and flipped the channel again.

She came closer to him and leaned in. "Are you suffering 'teenage angst'?"

Dirk laughed at that one and shook his head. "I don't think so."

"What then?"

"Mostly just confusion."

She sat on the sofa next to him and took a sip of her drink before telling him, "You shouldn't sit alone in the dark, it's weird."

"What's normal?" Dirk countered.

"That..." she seriously considered "...is an excellent point."

It wasn't too long before the doorbell rang and Jade sprang up to get it. Dirk ceased his flipping and stood, but kept back, listening.

"Hi Jane!" Jade greeted at the door and it didn't take even a second more for her to notice and comment on one thing more: "Cupcakes!"

"Yes," Jane responded, some cheer in her voice, "you can have one if you'd like. Is your brother or Dirk-" As she spoke, Dirk had moved toward the door and she cut herself as she noticed him. "Hi there, Dirk."

"Hey," he greeted back. Then he lightly poked Jade on the shoulder. "Could you go get Jake, please?"

"Sure!" Jade accepted and bounded up the stairs.

Dirk stepped out of the way of the door so Jane could enter and decided to comment in the little amount of time they had alone, "You did not have time to make cupcakes."

"They were already made," Jane explained. "We have family coming tomorrow. I can make more later. This isn't even all of them to begin with." She passed Dirk and took herself into the kitchen to put the platter down. He flipped the light on for her.

Jade returned with Jake not long after.

"Hi there, Jane!" Jake greeted cheerfully. "What brings you over? Not that the surprise isn't entirely pleasant."

She indicated her sugary offering. "As usual we have an overabundance of baked goods."

"Oh, goody!" Jake immediately went over to snatch one. Jade, of course, also retrieved a prize.

"I also thought maybe we could talk about something?" Jane prodded.

"Oh, sure, fire ahead!" Jake smiled at her as he undid the foil of the cupcake and took a bite.

"Well," Jane bite her lip, "is there a way we could..."

Dirk glanced to Jane as he took a cupcake for himself. Her turmoil over asking for privacy was painful to watch.

"Hey, Jade, there was this really awesome video footage attached to a robotics article I was looking into. You wanna see it?" Dirk cut in.

"Yes!" was the immediate answer.

Jane passed Dirk a grateful look that she hoped he noticed as he led Jade away.

"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Jake asked between bites.

Jane had a moment of renewed crisis before she finally just blurted, "I've always liked you." Jake was attempting to swallow and respond, but she held up a finger to silence him. "And don't say 'I like you too', that's not what I meant. Just...just keep chewing. Don't say anything. Eat the cupcake and let me talk, okay?"

Jake was taken slightly aback by the odd insistence, but nodded.

Jane sighed and continued, looking at her feet, "I liked you as in - I had romantic feelings for you. For a long time. For instance, when Roxy used to make jokes about us getting together, I think she was trying in her way to help me out? But it...just didn't work out that way. And I'd be lying if I said I was never jealous."

She looked up at him now. "I'm not saying this to get in the way or change anything - I worked things out with Dirk months ago. But I still felt as if I had this silly sort of unfinished business with you. It's probably ridiculous of me not to be able to just drop it, but here we are. You don't have to do anything, I just want you to know. I'd like to be able to stop having this...metaphorical wall between us and start being an actual friend."

There was some silence following before Jane quietly added, "You can speak now."

"Golly Jane, I'm sorry," Jake said after swallowing the last bit of somewhat over-chewed cake.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I didn't say all this sooner."

"I was...the only one that didn't know, wasn't I?" Jake asked her in a somewhat worried, contemplative tone.

"Seems so."

Jake nodded and swallowed, just taking in that information. He added it to the pile of things he never realized. "So, why tonight then?"

"Oh! Well..." Jane cringed a little and gave a side glance, not sure she wanted to admit to her conversation with Dirk, or rather, explain why she was there in the first place. "You could say a little bird told me it was about darn time."

"Well, that's certainly very mysterious of you to say, Jane. But I think..." Jake paused as he considered everything in totality. "I think that that's okay as long as you'd tell me if it was important for me to know."

She nodded, smiled, and after a moment of hesitation, hugged him. It was quick, but it had the intended effect. The wall was shattered, they were friends and everything was okay.

As they pulled away, Jake had a thought, "Dirk and Jade's video sure is long, isn't it?"

"Well, it's...probably over by now. We should go get them," Jane suggested.

"Why didn't they come down on their own?" Jake asked, then something turned in his mind just right and managed to click into place. "Wait, Dirk wasn't the 'bird', was he?"

"Ohohoho," Jane laughed and headed up the stairs without technically answering.

"He was, wasn't he?" Jake called after her, but she just kept going down the upstairs hall.

"Geez, you guys," Jake complained to no one. Then he closed his eyes, smiled, then reopened them. Still with no one to hear him, he said one last thing,

"Thanks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I didn't disappoint beyond the ridiculous long wait.
> 
> By the way, if you're interested, you can read what I already wrote of what is *now* going to be chapter 24 here: http://katanahime.tumblr.com/post/90307403394/are-you-continuing-no-place-like-home-because-if
> 
> I'm open to notes on that since it's unfinished.
> 
> As always, kudos/comments are loved and appreciated!


	24. Pink Wizard Needs Friends Badly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 84 years....
> 
> Well not really, but enough that I'm so sorry! I thought I could finish this chapter faster because I had it started, but it turned out to take longer because it was easier to start things new, but hard to go back to where I was.
> 
> Long timers, thanks for sticking with me. <3
> 
> I've sorted my shit out, though, I think. When I used to update tightly, I was hiding away upstairs away from people. My attempt to be social with my family has crippled my productivity. ("Social" in this context means being on my laptop in the same room.) Going back upstairs again. Finished this chapter, started the next one.
> 
> I also write a chapter a couple ahead a few months ago that I put up on tumblr here: http://katanahime.tumblr.com/post/137038763399/no-place-like-home-chapter (Warning: This is WRITING AHEAD and SPOILERS to a certain extent. I also may edit it more.)  
> In less future territory: http://katanahime.tumblr.com/post/143037299184/nplhome-extra-family-meeting this little piece takes place a few years BEFORE the main fic, when Dirk and Jake are in middle school. It may permanently live on tumblr, so check it out. Although my end note about the implication I'm still hmmmm idk if that's canon, WE'LL SEE.
> 
> Anyway, long overdue....

As dreaded as the first day back at school was, as much as Jake had considered feigning sick for the occasion, as much as it felt miserable and like reentering a prison sentence and any other manner of melodramatic self-centered shit, all of that was forgotten the second they saw her face.

It was Roxy - her usual cheery smile gone, her eyes downcast and slightly puffy with dark rims under them. Jane had an arm around her and was talking with her quietly with obvious concern before the boys were spotted.

"Roxy are you alright?" Jake was the one to ask.

Dirk thought the answer was rather obviously 'no', but then the obvious tended to come slowly to Jake. Or perhaps it came just as quickly as to anyone, but he didn't trust it, like it might bite. But in any case, the other question of concern, the one that asked her what was wrong, was most likely best left to a venue that was not a school hallway. He studied her eyes a bit more. "Have you been drinking?" he asked quietly enough, but not so soft that she wouldn't hear it.

"No!" she said vehemently, to his surprise, and causing several people to look their way. Rather unusually, she did nothing to deter them, continuing in the same voice, one that was angry, but perhaps not at Dirk, and something else in the undertones that was harder to detect, "I gave up that shit!"

She only now seemed to notice the stares, but she lacked her usual sharpness that held power over the curious masses.

Roxy brushed Jane's arm off of her and came forward toward Jake, grabbing his shoulder to turn him around. "Can I talk to you for a bit, Jake?" she asked, and without waiting for an answer, switched her grip to his arm to lead him away.

Dirk looked from them to Jane, but she just sighed and shook her head. It only occurred to him then that he probably should have apologized.

Once Roxy had turned enough corners and gotten far enough away, she stopped and spoke, not turning to look back at Jake. "I don't suppose you have room for another border?" She laughed, but in was forcefully strained and sounded completely unnatural, even to Jake's ears. "Like, is your living arrangements only okay because Dirk is your boyfriend and all, or are you all full up, or what?"

Jake frowned. His instincts, which he usually only trusted about as much as a conspiracy theorist trusts the government, were screaming at him that something was very, very wrong. And somewhere in his mind echoed a voice that told him that he should really fucking try trusting those more.

"Your parents didn't kick you out too, did they? Because that would be-" he started, but Roxy cut him off with that terrible sounding laughter again.

"My parents? Me? Never!" Every word she spoke now was so palpably bitter, it could almost be tasted. "They love me. That's why they got me my car, and the newest iphone, and access to enough money for as many clothes and games I could possibly want. _Because I'm their fucking princess_."

Jake blinked and backed up a pace. "Um...okay?" Then there was that mental voice again - _No, don't you dare take that literally like a dumb fucking jackass._

And then a bunch of observations seemed to line up for him at once. That he didn't recall ever having met her parents, although he'd been over her house plenty of times. It was always either her big sister Rita (oftentimes with her daughter Rose along), or no one at all. He had a vague idea of what they looked like, but couldn't place the source from anything other than photographs. That their liquor cabinet was always well stocked, and that it was in a place that he was able to know about when he was no older than 12. That any time he'd seen a car in her driveway that wasn't hers or Rita's it was always in passing when Roxy wanted to go to the mall, or somewhere, anywhere other than stay home.

That he'd seen all of these things all along, but had never, ever thought about it before.

His eyebrows knit, and he thought he should say something, anything to contradict himself, to emit some sort of understanding, but before he could, she turned to face him and gave him a tight smile, but one that was a lot closer to normal than her face had been all morning.

"It's alright, Jakey," she told him, letting go of his arm. "But actually...maybe it would be fun for just a night, though? Like a little sleepover. Like old times. What do you think?"

"....I'll...have to ask my mom," he responded finally, and she seemed to lighten up at that, as if she'd already secured a 'yes'.

"Thanks!" She smiled more genuinely, shutting out whatever had been there before, and strode back to where they'd left Dirk and Jane. "I should get to homeroom," she announced as she walked, more hurriedly.

Jake checked the time. There was still no reason to rush, but he let her get ahead of him, watching her turn in to her homeroom classroom before she arrived back at the other two. Jake trotted up to them, interrupting whatever quiet conversation they were having.

"She asked to stay over the night," he said, less like the statement it was, and more like an ask for clarification.

Jane smiled sadly. "I offered my house, but she kept insisting she didn't want to intrude, since we still have family from out of state," she said, looking to where Roxy's form had retreated out of sight.

"I'll have to ask Mom," Jake said, still confused and kind of numb from the whole experience. "What should I tell her?"

"Whatever you have to," Dirk answered him, then broke away from to go into the class after Roxy, giving Jake's hand a quick squeeze and release as he passed by.

Jake watched him until he disappeared quickly, then turned back to Jane. "Do you know what's happened, Jane? I find myself rather befuddled, and I guess like I have to guess at something that everyone else just seems to know."

"Well." She looked uncomfortable. "It's not really my business to tell, Jake."

"Right. I understand."

There was a moment of awkward silence, while Jane fiddled with her bag and Jake just sort of stood there like he'd overheated.

"Well," Jane said again. "I'd best be going. See you later, Jake." She half smiled and waved off before leaving down the hall.

Jake waved back half-heartedly, then slowly trudged down himself.

When Dirk entered the classroom, Roxy looked up at him and before he could speak, she said, "Don't."

"Don't what?"

She stared at him. "You know, it irks me when you pretend you don't know shit that you obviously do just to get it out of me. Don't apologize, obviously." She put her finger up to stop him opening his mouth to speak. "And I know that's what you were gonna do, because that's the only reason you'd have that stupid look on your face. It doesn't look good on you, DiStri. You could lose all your street cred."

He sat down in his usual seat next to her. "But I am really sorry, Roxy. I-"

"Dirk, shut up," Roxy cut him off. "I said not to fucking apologize, didn't I? Anyways, you need to stop it with that face before other people start realizing you actually have emotions."

Dirk bit his lip. _Fine. Fair enough._ They were playing pain for pain, then. He nodded and mentally called it even.

They were silent after that. Other students started to enter, a few of them curious enough about Roxy's puffy dark-rimmed eyes to stare, but Dirk glared back at them with an expression that looked like he was ready to flay people alive, and they stopped.

Dirk asked one more question before the bell rang, "Was it bad?"

Roxy just shrugged. But she didn't say she'd had worse. So that answered his question well enough.

The rest of the day was filled with boring introductions, bisected by lunch, in which Jane was trying her hardest to tell jokes to keep the mood up, but they fell flatter than usual.

Roxy laughed at every single one regardless.

At the end of the day Roxy drove them all home in her pink car, dropping Jane off with a promise she'd stop by later, before driving the remaining flew blocks to Jake's.

She parked the car and got out, walking swiftly down the walkway and only stopped by the fact that she didn't have a key. Once the door was opened for her, she beelined to the shelves of games.

"I keep forgetting you don't have a Nintendo," she grumbled, scanning them.

"Oh," Jake remarked amicably enough, "my mom used to have an N64, but she sold it at a yard sale when I was-"

"What?" Roxy gave him a look like he'd just told her his mom had murdered someone.

"Um..."

"How can anyone get rid of a system unless they are getting an upgrade _that is also backwards compatible_?"

Jake made the wise choice not to answer that question. Or perhaps he just didn't know what to say.

Roxy continued, "How am I supposed to beat your asses at _Mario Kart_?"

Dirk stepped in, "Roxy, wouldn't it be better not to start a war tonight, anyway?"

Roxy laughed, whatever had been built up diffused. "Fine, I'll even pick a co-op game, how's that?"

She turned around with a selection, holding it out rather proudly.

" _Gauntlet Dark Legacy_?" Jake asked, raising his eyebrows. "I forgot we even had that one."

"Please don't tell me you got rid of this system, too," Roxy practically begged.

"No..." Jake answered slowly, thinking, "...It's in Jade's room."

"Can we get it out?" Roxy asked.

Jake didn't answer her, looking toward the hall and the stairway and thinking on the problems and punishments involved in trespassing upon one's sibling's personal space without asking.

"Roxy needs game badly!" she insisted, imitating the voice from the game.

Dirk spoke up, looking between both their faces, "Jake, why don't you let me do it? That way your sister can't blame-"

"No," Jake dismissed and left the living room to face the stairs with a determined expression, one reminiscent of some of the adventure movies Jake watched repeatedly, like he was prepared to desecrate the temple and raid it for treasure, despite the traps that might come his way. "This is my quest."

"Quest?" Dirk questioned, staring at him. Roxy joined him at his side and peered at Jake.

"I mean...responsibility," Jake corrected himself.

"You go, Jakey!" Roxy cheered him on, raising the box in her hand like a pom-pom.

Jake dashed up the stairs like something bit him, before promptly slowly down before entering the room, hesitating at the door like a kid about to enter the principal's office. He took a breath, and then entered, returning about five minutes later with an old PS2 and a tangle of controllers.

"Yay, Jake!" Roxy lit up as he came down the stairs triumphantly. "My hero." She winked at him for good measure.

Jake laughed and proceeded to the living room, while Dirk attempted to relieve him of a controller that somehow got wound around his arm.

"Ah, thanks. I...uh..." Jake thought for a moment and then finished, "I have no idea how that got there."

"Frighteningly enough, I might actually believe you," Dirk chuckled at the end of his statement and started helping Jake set the console up at the television.

Roxy popped the game in as soon as everything was ready and they all grabbed controllers and more or less settled down.

There was an odd sort of therapy in gaming, really.

It had that magic ability to take Roxy away from reality, which was shitty, and focus on what qualified both as a distraction and an actual engaging activity. It was harder for her mind to fall back to thinking about what her parents were doing while drunk last night. What they were saying... How much alcohol she'd been offered, and how _she didn't even feel safe with her bedroom door shut and locked because of that one time her dad had broken it_ when- When her brain was busy trying to remember the levels from the last time she'd played a few years ago so she could warn the boys not to open the chests with death in them until they'd retrieved the halo. Of course, the race to retrieve the good items was always fun. She may have "forgot" where something was a few times for her own advantage, although considering the length of time she was remembering from no one would have been able to tell the difference between that and legit forgetting if it weren't for her cackling about it afterward.

When Jade came home from school Jake acted like a cornered criminal with the evidence of his heist right in plain view. The controller dropped from his hands. He sputtered. Roxy cut in explaining that she'd been the mastermind behind the Great PS2 Heist and easily placated Jade with an additional controller and an offer to go back to another stage so she could level.

There was no comment from Jake and Jade's mother when she returned home. She just acted like Roxy was a regular sight in her living room and started making dinner for them all.

Jake felt a distinct unease and couldn't concentrate. Well, to be fair, he didn't always need a reason to not concentrate, but this felt like a Good Excuse. This whole thing of not acknowledging the proverbial large mammal in the room. Particularly since he felt like he was the only one that couldn't quite grasp it, that didn't somehow have the whole story behind Roxy's problems. It wasn't something he really thought about before - he wasn't the prying type - but in this situation he somehow felt Less Of A Friend.  
Conversation through dinner remained light-hearted. Roxy was shooting off jokes through most of it, though Jake noticed her side-glancing at him with a more serious expression near the end.

"I'll do the dishes," Roxy volunteered. "That way I'm helping and not just eatin' your food an' stuff."

"One day isn't a problem, Roxy," Jake's mom said. "You go, it's Jake's turn anyway."

"I insist," said Roxy.

"Oh, no." Jake slunk off his chair. "You'll disrupt the whole schedule. If I get off on my night and Jade and Dirk don't, I'll be lynched. You're a guest, anyway."

"Then we'll do them together!" Roxy said, beaming suddenly. "I'll be a guest washer. We'll be dish buddies." Then she turned and said more to Jade than to Dirk, "I promise to be just as much a hindrance as a help, so it evens out, k?"

Jade laughed and slipped off her chair, then came around to take Dirk back with her to play while the other two teens would be occupied. Dirk gave a wave and a meaningful glance to Jake and Roxy before departing after her.

Jake's mom stayed for a little bit, quietly helping clear the dishes, then left the two alone.

They remained silent for a while, and Roxy felt she wasn't properly following through on her hindrance promise. "What's going on in that noggin of yours, Jake?" she asked. "I'm asking as a friend."

"....Am I any good as a friend?" he asked her.

"Whaaaaaaaaat." She gave him a befuddled look and put a hand to her chest.

"I'm serious," he said, turning away from her exaggerated expression. "It's not that I feel entitled to your private on-goings or anything, I really don't! I sincerely hope this doesn't come across as some plea to share more than you want, because it isn't, truly. It's just that- What with Dirk and Jane seeming to just...understand, it makes me wonder how good a friend I really am. Like, are they figuring stuff out that I can't because I have trouble reading people? Or are you telling them things you don't be because I'm not so great at the whole appropriate comfort thing? Both are probably true..."

"Oh my God, Jake."

"What? What is it?"

She took one finger and poked it against his forehead. "Stop," she said.

He opened his mouth again and she shushed him with another finger, the dishes forgotten.

"Janey doesn't just know because she's my bff and I'd just like, tell her all my problems like some kinda problem fountain. Her hot dad's equally hot cousin is _dating my sister_. My sister is _over her house right now_. Her and her family are _in the shit_ with my family's problems."

She removed her finger enough for him to comment, "And Dirk?"

"Well, first Dirk's family was involved with mine even before Jane's was, okay? Second, despite my rejection of the concept due to thinking he's sexy-"

Jake started, "You-"

"Shh, Roxy's talking here," she cut him off before he could question her infatuation. "Despite that, Dirk fancies himself like some sorta protective older brother that I never thought I wanted. He likes making my shitty family out to be his business, like some sorta extension of his shitty family."

"Is it a shitty extension?" Jake couldn't quite help himself.

"Yes. Sooooo very shitty. An' here Dirk and me are, trying desperately to believe that we are some sort of sports, when we really fuckin' ain't."

"Sports?"

"Biology, Jake," Roxy explained. "It's okay, school is shit at teaching this stuff, most peeps wouldn't know it. A biological sport is when offspring has mutated genes, shit that their parents didn't have. More relevantly phrased to what I'm using it for: Being different from your fucking parents."

"Well, I don't presume to know everything, but from the "shitty" implication here, I'd say you are both swell sports," Jake said.

"Thanks a bunch for believing that Jake, but nah," countered Roxy, finally picking up a dish again. "We got our shit to deal with, and we don't make better by pretending it ain't the case. Dirk's better because he actively fights it. So now I gotta do the same."

"Well, as long as you don't change the part where you are one of the best friends a guy could have," Jake told her, also joining back in the washing, though he didn't have his mind on it still, and ended up washing the same thing twice. "Really, I can't believe you spent this whole conversation reassuring me, when it's you that has a problem."

"You saying that just makes me realize I haven't really done that at all, though." Roxy put a soapy hand on his chin and pulled his face to look at her. "Listen, I don't _want_ every single person I'm close with to know every tiny detail about my problems. I don't want to be thought of that way all the time. I don't want to be pitied. And do you know how many people would just do anything for me without knowing? Like how you let me stay over even though you _didn't_ know what Dirk and Jane did? You are the best friend I could have right now, Jake, really."

She kissed his cheek. "Don't tell Dirk I kissed you, though," she said and winked. "I'll get in trouble."

Jake laughed. "Your secret is safe with me," he said, "although I don't really think you have to fret about it."

The doorbell rang just then. Roxy dried her hands and went to get it while Jake finished up.

On the other side was Jane. With cupcakes. And her second cousin.

"Hey Jane, hey mini-bert," Roxy greeted.

John straightened himself indignantly, leveling his head with Jane's. Roxy laughed at that and he reddened a bit.

"Hi Roxy," Jane said. "I didn't expect you to answer, what with it not being your home and all." Roxy laughed at that, too. Jane continued, "But these are for you, anyway. We made extra, and your sister thought we should bring them over."

"You told her I was here, huh?" Roxy asked her.

"Yes...." Jane's face folded into cautiously apologetic. "I hope I haven't made a breach of friendship by doing so, but she seemed concerned about you."

"You're fine, Janey, no breach has been made, we are still bffsey's. She's alright." Roxy crossed her arms. "Though I noticed she decided not to come herself."

"She thought you'd like it better that way."

"Hmm." Roxy didn't confirm or deny that. She couldn't, actually. She wasn't sure.

"Is Jade home?" John finally spoke up and asked, once it didn't seem like he was interrupting.

"Yeah," Roxy told him. "She's in the living room playing a game with Dirk, I think. You can probs relieve him of his duties."

"Thanks," he said, brushing past her and toward the living room. "Jane wouldn't let me prank the cupcakes," he called back.

Roxy turned back to Jane with a raised eyebrow.

"Genuine," Jane confirmed. "Don't worry, I didn't let him out of my sight."

"The prank mistress disallowed a prank on my behalf?" Roxy said in mock astonishment. "I'm so honored. So," she took a cupcake off the tray and started to peel off the wrapper, "if Rita and John are both over, so is Rosie, right?"

"Yes."

Roxy's eyes lit up like stars.

"See, this is why I don't even need to prank you," Jane said, sighing a little. "Every time you think about seeing your dear niece Rose you get anew this expectation of a sweet little girl you can shower with affection. And every single time she turns out to be mini-girl-Dirk. It's the gift that keeps on giving."

Roxy gave her the saddest look she could muster. "Janey...I want to see her."

"Fine, I'll ask her to come over tomorrow morning," Jane relented. "But when she gives most of her positive attention to Dirk, just remember you asked for this. Then imagine me laughing about it. Hohoho."

Roxy's joy was undeterred. "I won't regret it, Janey, thank youuuuu." She then pulled away enough for Jane to fully enter the house with the cupcake tray and took a bite of the one she'd unwrapped.

Jane came in and headed to the kitchen with the tray, where Jake had just finished up with the dishes.

"Oh, hello there, Jane," he greeted with a smile. "Those cupcakes sure do look delicious."

Roxy pointed at him with a warning finger. "Mine," she said.

Jake blinked. He looked between the girls and the cupcake tray.

Jane put them down. "I may have said I brought them for her, yes."

"Well, what does a guy have to do to acquire one of these tasty morsels?" Jake asked.

"Once upon a time, I may have baked you as many as you'd ever want, but you missed your chance on that one, buster, didn't you." Jane stuck her tongue out a little.

He blanched.

She laughed and quickly waved his expression away. "No, don't look like that. I was just joking with you."

"Oh. Right." He recovered through embarrassment. "Swell jibe, Jane."

"Baked goods are for all friends in need." Jane smiled at him warmly.

"Awwww, you two," Roxy cut in, physically roping each of them under her arms, earning an audible "urk" from Jake. "You really did work things out. I'm so proud. So proud." She pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. "Friendship is beautiful."

"Has someone been watching My Little Pony?" said Dirk, leaning on the archway between the kitchen and the central hallway.

They all turned. "Beautiful, Dirk," Roxy repeated at him. "Beau-ti-ful."

"Lessons in friendship abounds lately," Dirk commented and came forward toward the cupcakes, reaching out.

Roxy smacked his hand away. "No. Mine."

He raised an eyebrow.

"My family crisis cupcakes," Roxy continued. "Get your own."

"I didn't get any cupcakes for my family crisis."

Roxy stared him down. "You got a home to live in."

"Harsh." Dirk considered this. "But fair."

Jane laughed. "I can bring more," she said.

"No, Janey, I got this," Roxy told her. She pointed one finger at Jake. "You," she said, "can have ONE. For being an awesome accomidating friend today. You," another finger went to Dirk, "can...also have ONE 'cause your dad's still shit from beyond house borders. Although I suppose from that stipulation, Dave should get more on account a' still living there an' all. He should get two, no, three, no- hmm..."

"Rox-" Dirk started.

Roxy put her pointed finger to his mouth. "Shh. I'm doing Living Hell Cupcake Math. This is very important. Of course, Dave isn't even here right now...this complicates things..."

Dirk sighed and spoke through her finger, muffled slightly, "If you're done with your "Cupcake Math", I can offer to ask him if he can come over here after school tomorrow." She removed her finger and allowed him to continue more clearly, "That is, if you'll still be here. Also, I can make any promises considering he'll probably have to come up with a good lie-"

Roxy lit up just about as much as she did about Rose. "Thanks, Dirk! I'll be here if Dave is coming. If you can get him, you'll have definitely earned that cupcake!"

"Wait, now it's conditional?"

"Rose AND Dave, tomorrow is gonna be the best day ever," Roxy said, grinning.

"Rose? What the fuck are you even on about?"

"Dave is going to get half the cupcakes," Roxy went on, ignoring Dirk's question. "Well, half the remaining cupcakes," she amended, "he doesn't get more than me."

"What even-"

"Cupcake math, Dirk, I don't make the rules," stated Roxy matter-of-factly, and when he raised his eyebrows at her she just repeated, "I don't make the rules."

Jane and Jake were both laughing. Dirk gave up, letting Roxy have this one. It was certainly a much better way to end the day than it started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gauntlet Dark Legacy references-  
> Chapter title is a reference to "[color (of which pink is NOT an option)] [character (of which Wizard IS an option] needs food badly!" which the game says anytime someone has low health. "Roxy needs game badly" is also in reference to this.  
> Death/halo - occasionally breakables/treasure boxes, which could contain items actually contain Death. There's two types of Death, health draining death, and level draining death. Death can be defeated with a potion, or an Halo item. The benefit of the Halo is that you can drain from death (for instance, gain a level from the level-drain death). In at least one stage, there's a halo item just slightly farther down an area than where Death is, so a savvy player wins.
> 
> Hopefully see you again with another chapter soon!
> 
> Kudos/comments are love! (saw an idea on tumblr that if you've already left kudos and want to again to leave like "+1 kudos" as a comment and I support that idea, if you don't have anything to say.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


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